Konoha Saints
by nomoreofthis
Summary: After surviving a fight with a pair of Mist Mafiosos, Naruto and Sasuke make it their mission in life to rid the world of evil. But can they do it with a professional detective from Root on their tails? Based on the movie The Boondock Saints. R&R please..
1. Introductions

_Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Boondock Saints belongs to Franchise Pictures or somebody._

**Introductions**

The church was cold in the church this Sunday morning. The weather had been good the previous day, but Konoha was a finicky city with its weather. The sun was shining brightly today though, as shown by the few strips of light scattered across the floor. But most of the light in the church was given off by the lights focused around the nave, giving a peaceful appearance to the cruciform.

Moegi was sulking however. She most certainly did not want to be here, especially while Konohamaru and Udon were out playing. The small slits of sunlight on the floor only annoyed her further, provoking her with their invitations of warmth, and the knowledge that if she could feel that warmth, it would mean she was outside instead of here, in this cold sanctuary.

She didn't get why she couldn't skip a service or two every once in a while. Especially when the church was this cold! If she could stay home during the cold days, she swore she'd come in the summer! Every Sunday! Well, most of them.

She looked around the church, desperately trying to find a distraction that would drown out the monotone voice of the guest speaker. Some Father Subaku, or something like that, from some other town. Moegi thought he looked scary, and his eyes made him look mean.

As she looked around, she found something interesting to look at, and surprisingly, it was right next to her. More specifically, _they_ were.

Sitting next to her family were two young men, both in deep prayer, clutching two small cruciform necklaces in their hands. Moegi knew that church was a place for prayer, but she'd never seen anyone taking it so seriously before.

The man closest to her had black hair, pointed in the back and hanging to the sides of his face in the front. It reminded her of the black duck she had seen in the park yesterday. Maybe it was more like a cockatoo though. Or a chicken? It was definitely weird though. With his eyes closed, he looked like he was annoyed at something, with his brows furrowed. Moegi wondered if they were always like that.

The further man looked less agitated than the closer man though. He was shorter than the black-haired man, but had short blonde hair spiking out in every direction. His face seemed to have a softer look to it, and he appeared to be calm and relaxed. Moegi's eyes, however, did manage to linger on the man's birthmarks, lines across his face that seemed like the whiskers of a fox.

Moegi jumped as a hand rested on her shoulder. Her mother was glaring at her, and cocked her head toward the nave, a silent command for Moegi to pay attention. Moegi frowned, but cheered up a little when she saw that Father Subaku was walking away from the pulpit toward Father Sarutobi, who was standing up to shake his hand.

She liked Father Sarutobi. Church was boring, but at least she could understand his sermons, and he told some jokes sometimes to lighten the mood. Sometimes, he'd say something only the adults would laugh at, but she was pretty sure he wasn't making fun of the kids or anything.

As Father Sarutobi approached the pulpit, Father Subaku sat down in the seat next to Father Iruka, who smiled and nodded in thanks. Moegi liked him too. He was really nice to the kids in Sunday school. Moegi perked up as Father Sarutobi started talking. Maybe he'd start with a joke. The best ones were always in the first few minutes of the sermon.

"I'd like to thank Father Subaku, for coming all the way across the desert to be our guest speaker today," Father Sarutobi began, gesturing toward the guest priest. "I hope you found our little parish to your liking."

Moegi turned in surprise as the two men next to her that had been praying stood up abruptly and scooted past her family toward the isle. Were they leaving already? Maybe they didn't like Father Sarutobi's sermons. But Moegi's look of surprise quickly changed to a look of confusion as, rather than walk to the exit, the two men approached the front.

She saw movement behind the pulpit, which turned out to be Father Subaku. He looked angry. Moegi didn't blame him. She'd never heard it said before, but she was certain you weren't supposed to walk to the front of the church during a service. But instead of joining Father Subaku, Father Iruka only put his hand on Father Subaku's shoulder and shook his head.

Moegi saw Father Sarutobi sigh as the two men came forward, then began speaking, "I am reminded of this holy day of the sad story of Miss Tsunade. This poor soul cried out time and time again for help but no person answered her calls."

Moegi felt a chill run through her body. This kind of sermon was not normal for Father Sarutobi. This must be a very important sermon. The two men passed the pulpit, without even a slight glance at Father Sarutobi, the two kneeled before the cruciform and the front of the church and continued to pray as Father Sarutobi continued. "Though many saw, not one so much as called the police. Her assailant wiped the bloody knife off on her lifeless little body. They watched as he simply walked away. Nobody wanted to get involved. Nobody wanted to take a stand..."

The men then stood up and began to walk the isle. Moegi half expected them to sit back down next to her family, but they simply walked right past toward the doors. She glanced back to see them standing in the back, turning to listen to the end of Father Sarutobi's story. Moegi turned as well to hear the rest.

Father Sarutobi straightened himself, knowing that all eyes on the church were on him after the two men's display. In the utter silence of the church, Father Sarutobi finally stated his message. "We must fear evil men and deal with them accordingly but what we must truly guard against, what we must fear most is the indifference of good men."

A loud clack and small breeze flowed through the church, and Moegi knew the two men had heard what they needed to, and had left. Moegi leaned forward in the pew. She wanted to hear this sermon. She was glad she had come today, and wondered what knowledge Father Sarutobi would offer to follow his story of Miss Tsunade.

* * *

The two men stood on the steps of the church for a moment, before the black-haired man pulled a pack of pocky from his pocket and put one in his mouth. He held the box up to the blonde-haired man, who nodded and took one for himself. They stood on the steps for a few seconds, pocky hanging loosely from the corners of their mouths, before the black-haired man spoke up.

"I do believe the Father's finally gotten the point."

"Yep," the blonde-haired man replied, before the two walked down the steps and away from the church.

* * *

A/N

For those who haven't figured it out yet, this is most definitely a Naruto version of the movie Boondock Saints. Those who've seen the movie probably already have a good idea on what's going to happen, but I'll leave you free to guess which Naruto characters will play which Saints role.

As for the M rating, I realize this intro has nothing bad in it, but it will get worse, and those that have seen the movie know it.

I couldn't bring myself to let Naruto and Sasuke to smoke. I don't smoke myself, so I don't really know how to describe it. I've never eaten pocky either, but I imagine it can be eaten like I wrote. Also, I just can't imagine either of them smoking.

SO. Short version, later chapters will have blood, guts, swearing, violence, sexism, and lots of adult themes. But, no smoking.

**EDIT: Have you ever gone back and looked at stuff you wrote or drew when you were five and thought, '_Wow. This really sucks!_' That's what I'm thinking about the first few chapters of this story, and I just wrote it only a month and a half ago! But keep reading! Please! I swear to God it gets better after that!**

**Also, if you spot any naming or grammar mistakes, write a list in a review, please. I know I sometimes mix up the names from Naruto with the ones from the movie. I can't help it! I've seen the movie about a billion times! I really want to fix all the problems I usually miss, since I don't really have anyone to edit this for me. So please, let me know if I fucked up.**


	2. Jobs and Drinks

_Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Boondock Saints belongs to Franchise Pictures._

**Jobs and Drinks**

Sasuke stood on the loading dock of Nara's Deer Meat Packing Plant with his hands in his pockets and a nearly finished stick of pocky hanging loosely from his mouth. The white smock he was wearing, now a white smock with an Escher painting of blood on it, flicked around as a breeze blew through the docking bay. He'd been listening to his twin, Naruto telling jokes through the entryway for the last few minutes, while he slowly chewed away at the treat in his mouth. However, it'd gotten quiet inside, and knowing Naruto, it usually meant an earful from Chouza Akimichi if he didn't find out and prevent what Naruto was planning.

Flicking the pocky stick out onto the cement, he turned and pushed his way through the strands of plastic preventing the wind from flowing into the plant and stopped to glance around for Naruto. While he didn't see Naruto anywhere, he did find it odd that everyone was looking at him. And _grinning_.

Sasuke blinked. "What?" he managed to get out before a blur of motion appeared to his right. He turned his head to look, just in time to flinch before getting cold clocked with a deer leg to the face.

Sasuke tripped over his feet for a moment before coming to his senses and seeing Naruto grinning widely with a slab of meat in batting position in his hands, the other workers laughing and cheering. With a grin on his face he dropped the leg and raised his hands in victory as the workers laughed, leaving Sasuke the opportunity to wrap his arms around Naruto's waist, hoist him in the air, and throw him onto a table piled with meat.

Naruto, still grinning, looked up to see Sasuke grab his own slab of deer meat before pinning his brother to the table. Naruto held up his arms in defense as Sasuke began swinging at his face with the slab, yelling at Naruto.

"Yeah!" yelled Sasuke triumphantly, landing a particularly loud blow to Naruto's left cheek. "Take that! Who's the master now, eh Dobe?"

Sasuke turned to the cheering and laughing crowd, producing a dramatic bow at his victory, and laughing with the rest of them as Naruto sat up, still laughing himself.

* * *

"Naruto, Sasuke."

The two looked up from the line as their boss, Chouza Akimichi approached them, followed by a cross-looking, tomboyish red-haired woman. "Boys, this is Tayuya. You'll be training her today, so do a good job in training her."

"You got it," Naruto said cheerily, glancing at Sasuke, who nodded back.

Naruto wiped his hands on his smock and walked toward Tayuya, extending his hand, "Nice to meet ya Tayu."

Tayuya glared at him and kept her hands at her sides. "I prefer to be called Tayuya by _men_."

Naruto blinked and frowned, "Oh, okay then. Let's get you started. Hey, Sasuke, show her the around."

Sasuke nodded, slightly perturbed by Tayuya's attitude, but not willing to make a big deal of it. "Fine, come on," he said, motioning for her to follow.

* * *

Sasuke made his way through most of the factory, instructing Tayuya all the way on protocol, while Naruto followed close behind talking to co-workers along the way and piping in when he could. Sasuke had to admit that he didn't like the girl's attitude, but with her dislike of speaking to men in general, including him, he wasn't really complaining.

As Sasuke lead Tayuya into the stripping area, he began rattling off the process of fat removal by memory. "Okay, so here you just cut off as much fat as you can as it goes by on the belt. Basically, the rule of thumb here is…"

"Wait," Tayuya interrupted, causing Sasuke to sputter in surprise. "Rule of thumb?"

Sasuke blinked, unsure what she meant. "Yeah?"

"Do you know where that term comes from?" Tayuya asked, looking angry. Or angrier that she already looked, thought Sasuke, as he shook his head uncertainly. "In the early 1900's it was legal for men to beat their wives as long as they used a stick no wider than their thumb."

As Tayuya glared accusingly at Sasuke, and some other workers started turning to see what the commotion was, Sasuke glanced at Naruto uncertainly. The broad grin Sasuke could only describe as "wicked-looking" was all the permission he needed to strike back.

He turned back to Tayuya with a joking grin on face, causing her to frown in surprise. This was not the look she expected, obviously. Sasuke held up his thumb and turned it like he was studying it. "You can't do much damage with that," he said, grinning. "Perhaps it should have been the rule of wrist. Ha!"

Sasuke could practically see the steam coming out of Tayuya's ears as her anger rose. She snarled at Sasuke for a moment before erupting at him, "I knew you two pricks would give me problems. Give me shit 'cause I'm a woman. I'm not gonna take your male dominance bullshit!"

Both Sasuke and Naruto laughed as the woman raved, before Sasuke realized she'd probably try to get the feminist movement to sue the company, making him and Naruto lose their jobs. Quickly composing himself, he tried to calm Tayuya down.

"Oh, come on Tayuya. I was just trying to get a rise out of you."

With a quick look from Sasuke as warning, Naruto chimed in as well. "Yeah, Tayuya, we're just trying to be funny. Just trying the break the ice is all"

However, to Sasuke, it seemed like that just made Tayuya more angry. "Fuck you!" she said pointing to Naruto, then back to Sasuke, "And fuck you!"

"Oh, come on," Naruto said, still obviously in a light mood. Sasuke tried to send him a warning look to stop playing, but Naruto wasn't paying attention to him at the moment. "It's St. Patty's Day! It's all in good fun."

As Sasuke thought, Naruto's reasoning wasn't enough to calm Tayuya any, but seemed to make her angrier. "Does 'Tayuya' sound Irish to you, fuck face!?"

Now Naruto was starting to look angry as well. Sasuke knew if he didn't diffuse the situation, it wouldn't end well for anybody. Turning Tayuya's attention from Naruto, he tried to calm her down. "Now look, Tayuya, we're sorry. Just relax."

It seemed like Tayuya was calming down after the apology, so Sasuke relaxed a bit. However, after spending his whole life with Naruto, he'd come into the habit of letting slip his less appropriate thoughts into conversations. "Why don't you just save all your aggression for protests and marches and what not?"

Sasuke eyes widened as he realized what he'd just said, but that wasn't enough to stop Tayuya's steel-toed boot from connecting with his crotch. As stars exploded in Sasuke's eyes as he fell to the floor in pain, the only thought running though his head was not his own situation, but rather, '_Naruto won't take this well at all_.'

Sasuke's prediction turned out accurate, it seemed, when he heard a loud crack and saw Tayuya fall on her back some feet over, with what appeared to be a dislocated jaw. '_Shit_.'

Still in pain, Sasuke rolled onto his back, just to look up into the face of Chouza as he stood shaking his head, "Oh, shit, you guys…"

'_Shit…_'

* * *

Naruto sat happily at the Ichiraku bar, Sasuke on his left and Lee on his right, carefully watching Teuchi for the signs of one of his fits. Teuchi stared right back at him, giving off the impression that he was certainly not going to have one tonight.

Teuchi's bar was a small three-walled stall in an alleyway near Naruto and Sasuke's apartment. It didn't hold a large number of people, but most of the people that ate and drank here were regulars that were friends with Teuchi, and usually Naruto, Sasuke, and the collection of friends surrounding them at the bar now. At the moment, his brother and their friends were silently passing wagers on whether or not Naruto would emerge victorious tonight or not. So far Shikamaru and Lee were betting on him while Sasuke, Neji and Chouji all had bets on Teuchi.

At the sign of a subtle twitch in Teuchi's eye, Naruto grinned and began the well-versed lines they'd used in the bar for years. Standing up and raising his voice, he stated confidently "Would someone please come over here and…"

"Fuck!" spat out Teuchi.

"me up the…" Naruto continued.

"Ass!" Teuchi finished as the bar roared in applause. Groans and cheers came from his friends, depending on their choice of victor, as Teuchi turned red in anger, throwing ice at the bowing Naruto. Naruto usually won this bet, but then again, he'd never seen anyone but Kiba actually lose by calling out too early or too late.

And speaking of Kiba… "Hey fuck-ass!" a voice shouted over the laughter. "Get me a beer!"

The bar erupted in a new wave of laughter as Kiba walked over to the bar and hugged Naruto and Sasuke as they greeted him, while being pelted with ice by Teuchi in response to the nick-name. Kiba smiled and laughed as Naruto and Sasuke told him and the others their story about work, as they walked back to the bar and continued drinking.

* * *

Naruto looked up at the clock. 1:38. The bar was trashed, and was pretty much empty except for him, Sasuke and their friends. He was pretty sure everyone was pretty drunk. Well, not Lee. They'd started switching out his drinks after they'd learned he was an aggressive drunk.

He'd been listening to Kiba for the last few minutes, who'd been giving a drunken rant in an attempt to prove he wasn't homophobic. Sasuke had his head on the table and was laughing, as Kiba shook him, continuing his argument, "Now look, it's not that I'm homophobic. I'm just afraid of faggots." However, this just seemed to make Sasuke laugh harder.

As Sasuke finished laughing though, Naruto noticed Teuchi motioning for them to listen. "Listen, boys, I got some bad news. Looks like I'm gonna have to close d-down the bar," Teuchi started causing Naruto and the others to shout is disbelief and denial. Teuchi held up his hand to quiet them as he continued. "Now, look. The Mist Mafia have been buying up buildings all over town, including this one."

His eyes twitched, and he let out a "Fuck! Ass!" before continuing, "And they're not letting me renew my lease. I got 'til the end of the week to come up with 26,000 dollars, or they take the place. I left them a note telling them not to show their faces t-tonight. They been pressuring me to close and take the last few days to get all my shit out of here but it's my right to stay open to the last."

Everyone along the bar was quiet with shock, before Kiba, slightly sobered from the information, spoke up, "L-Let me talk to my boss, maybe I can..." But he was quickly silenced by protests from around the room.

Naruto knew that Kiba was a low-ranking member of the Sound Mafia, but everyone (even Kiba, he suspected) knew that any involvement with the Sound would only make things worse than they were. Naruto and Sasuke had been trying to get Kiba to leave the Sound, but he kept insisting that he was certain they were going to promote him soon. Naruto had met some of the people Kiba worked with closely, and it seemed like they'd just as soon cut Kiba's throat if it meant a promotion up the ranks.

The quieted as Teuchi shook his hands and continued, "L-l-listen I don't want anyone to know until the last possible moment. So you guys," pointing specifically at Kiba, "keep your traps shut. You know what they say; People in glass houses sink ships."

The group groaned and chuckled at Teuchi's phrase, before Kiba spoke up again, "Y'know Teuchi, I gotta get you a, a, like a proverb book or something. This mix and match shit's gotta go."

"What?" Teuchi sputtered, confused, causing chuckles to circulate around the bar.

"Sasuke leaned forward, imitating Teuchi with a grin, "A p-penny saved is worth two in the bush."

Naruto grinned broadly. He couldn't keep himself out of this. "How about, 'don't c-cross the road if ya can't get out of the kitchen'?"

Everyone laughed at this, Teuchi shaking his head. But everyone quieted as four men in suits walked into the bar. The man in front, most likely the leader, had messy brown hair and a bevy of bandages covering his mouth jaw, and throat. Surrounding him were two men who both had long black hair, gas masks, and each a large metal claw on an arm. Very close behind the leader stood a short man with a very feminine face, with his hair pulled back in a bun.

Sensing ill intent, the group sitting around the bar stood up to confront the four men. Naruto glared angrily at the men, as the leader began to speak. "I am Zabuza Momochi," he started, "and you," he said, pointing at Teuchi, "will be closing now."

"Oh, yeah?" asked Kiba. Naruto flinched; he still looked and sounded _incredibly_ drunk. "Well, I'm Kiba, and you," he said, pointing at Zabuza, "are incredibly ugly."

Everyone snorted and chuckled at Kiba, but Zabuza glared at the group. "Oh, how extraordinary. A bunch of Konoha-nin... being complete drunken idiots. I'm in no mood for discussion." He pointed at Teuchi. "You! You stay." He glared at Naruto and the others. "The rest of you leave. _Now_."

However, Naruto turned in surprise as Teuchi spoke up, annoyed and angered at the unwanted visitors, "Why don't you make like a tree, and get the fuck outta here!"

The drinking group groaned as Teuchi shook his head and the Mist glanced at each other, slightly confused.

"Calm down, Teuchi," Sasuke said, calmly. "I'm sure they're reasonable fellows."

Naruto grinned as he and Sasuke grabbed some full shot glasses from the counter and offered them to the Mist Mafioso.

"Look fellas," Sasuke said, a slight smile on his face, "you know he's got until the end of the week. You don't have to be hard asses, do you?"

"Yeah," joined Naruto. "It's St. Patty's day. Now, why don't ya pull up a stool and have a drink with us?"

Naruto jumped as Zabuza's hands shot forward, slapping the glasses to the floor. "You insult me. I would never drink that sewage. Especially not with you fools."

"This is no game!" he spat as his men took a step forward. "If you won't go, we will make you go!"

* * *

A/N

Holy shit, a cliffhanger!

Yep, two chapters in one day! I'm putting the other authors to shame!

Also, feel free to write a review. I'd like to know if I suck or not.

This fic is mostly designed using the screenplay for the actual movie, with some adjusting, based on what actually went into the movie. This fic would actually be about three times longer if I used the full script rather than only what went into the movie.

Again, WRITE REVIEWS, PLZ! If I suck, tell me!


	3. Agent Sai

_Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Boondock Saints belongs to Franchise Pictures._

**Agent Sai**

It was another cold morning, just like it had been yesterday. Kakashi sighed. He hated St. Patrick's Day. No, that wasn't true. He hated the day after St. Patrick's Day. He always spent the night at the bars with Asuma, and then always had to wake up early the next morning when some corpse with a kunai through the chest appeared in a dumpster behind one of the bars in the city.

Although, he had to admit, the two suits in this particular alley were a bit different than the others. No weapons on the scene, and no kunai or even senbon wounds. A broken toilet on the ground could be used, but those were all over the place after St. Patrick's Day. He would've suspected a simultaneous heart attack (unlikely through it may be) if the med-nins hadn't declared one with a fractured skull and severe head trauma, and the other with a crushed spine and ribcage. Kakashi was curious about the smaller one's bandaged head and the bigger ones bandaged… ass, but he figured those weren't coinciding with their deaths, since he hadn't known any criminals who'd put bandages on their victims.

While he did enjoy a good mystery, he was sure this one would frustrate him. Not only that, but sure enough, just a couple days ago, he and Asuma had been assigned the task of teaching a new detective the ropes. Ebisu was, if nothing else, enthusiastic, but Kakashi wouldn't mind him so much if he weren't so goddamned cocky about himself.

At the moment, Ebisu seemed to be preparing himself to give what he believed to be exactly what happened, and Kakashi and Asuma were going to have to listen to the whole damn thing, then spend ten minutes pointing out everything wrong with his theory.

Ebisu turned to Kakashi and Asuma, evidently ready to speak… and speak, and speak. "Okay, so these guys are just kicking the shit out of each other. This guy," Ebisu said, pointing to the smaller man, "picks up an old kitchen sink that someone threw out and crushes this guy," pointing to the bigger man, "with it."

Kakashi sighed and rubbed his temples. This was definitely going to be a frustrating explanation, and Ebisu wasn't even warmed up yet. As the sound of a car pulling up echoed through the small alley, Kakashi turned to see Police Chief Danzao step out, alongside a shorter man with low cut black hair and a fake-looking smile. The smaller man was well-dressed, and carried an air of importance and superiority around him, which could only mean one thing. Root agent.

'_Shit…'_ Kakashi nudged Asuma and nodded toward the approaching men. Asuma frowned as he came to the same realization as Kakashi and sighed as well.

As the two approached, Chief Danzao opened his mouth to interrupt the ranting Ebisu, only to have the man next to him put his hand on Danzao's shoulder with a smirk, apparently interested in Ebisu's theory. '_Just wants to find a reason to make us look bad, no doubt_,' Kakashi thought.

Ebisu however, hadn't even noticed the two approach, and was still rambling on, much to Kakashi's displeasure. "So when the toilet breaks on the big guy's head, it makes a big bang and alerts their friend, who's standing look out around the corner. So he comes over and gets into it with this little guy. He's angry at him, right? They get into an altercation in which the lookout guy crushes this guy by jumping on him. And look at the damage here," he said, motioning toward the smaller man. "I mean this guy's fucking hamburger man. His spine is crushed. He's all twisted and shit. That guy had to be one big mother fucker. Huge, three, four hundred pounds, fucking huge."

By this time, Kakashi could see Chief Danzao rubbing his eyes as he shook his head in embarrassment of Ebisu's theory, while the Root agent listened on in amusement.

"Or, okay. Check this out," Ebisu continued, throwing out another, though probably just as ridiculous, theory. "Say these two don't even know the huge guy. They're just staggering home from a bar this morning, still all fucked up from St. Patty's last night. So they figure they'll take a short cut down the alley and this big mother fucker, he's just waiting. And what could be more perfect for strong arm robbery? Two drunk guys all bandaged up. They're already injured for Christ sakes. He takes a blunt object and whacks the guy with the bandage on his head, right? Cause he's smart. He knows the guy with the bandage on his ass, he's going nowhere."

Kakashi sighed is embarrassment. He and Asuma needed to teach Ebisu how to summarize, if he didn't get fired for making an ass of the police force in front of the Root agent.

"So once this small guy's out of the picture, this poor asshole," Ebisu said, pointing to the bigger man, "he tries to run. But look how far he gets before the huge bastard catches up with him. Only a few yards. And what does he do? He gets creative. He picks up a sink and crushes the poor motherfucker. But, he isn't done yet. He comes over here, jumps on this small guy's back and crushes him to death. He steals their shit and beats it!"

"And look at this print," he said, pointing at the smaller man's back, "That's one big fucking shoe! And think about it. Of all the ways to kill a guy, crushing' him to death. That's very particular. You don't get many of those. I dunno. I feel something big here. I wouldn't be surprised if we see more of these turning up."

Kakashi sighed in relief as Ebisu finished up, just to frown again as the Root agent stepped forward to put his two cents in.

"Brilliant!" he started, catching Ebisu's attention. "So now we got a huge guy theory and serial crusher theory. Top fucking notch. What's your name?"

"Detective Ebisu," sputtered the rookie in surprise, before catching himself and striking back. "Who the fuck are you?"

The man opened his coat, revealing a bright blue Root badge, with the name "Sai" written across the top. "That's who the fuck I am," he said to Ebisu, smile gone.

Kakashi looked at Danzao questioningly, only to receive a shrug in response. "Listen, I gotta go by the numbers on this one," he told them. "An I.D. just came back on these guys. They've got connections to the Russian mob. That makes it a federal matter and Agent Sai, here, is heading up the investigation with our full cooperation."

The smile returned as Sai looked at Ebisu. "Why don't you get me a cup of coffee." It didn't sound like a question to Kakashi.

"What the fuck?" sputtered Ebisu.

"Café latte."

"Who the..."

"Twist of lemon!"

"Chief, what the fuck is this?"

"Sweet-n-low!"

Ebisu looked at Danzao in confusion, and frowned as the Chief nodded. Turning in anger, he walked away to get the coffee. Kakashi felt somewhat bad, but secretly wished he'd thought up that idea himself.

As Sai began wandering around the crime scene, humming and chuckling to himself as he came to his own conclusions, Kakashi looked over at Asuma, who smirked back, coming to the same assumption about Sai that Kakashi had, apparently. Seemed like neither of them believed Sai to be… the straightest stick in the pile. Kakashi was wondering what Sai what drawing from the scene however, as his path led him down an adjacent alleyway and back to look ponderingly up the side of the buildings.

"Izumo! Kotetsu!" he called to two shinobi, surprising Kakashi in his directness.

"Yes sir," the two said simultaneously as they approached.

"Find the manager of this building," he told them. "See if he has had any complaints of water coming down in any apartments, starting just this morning. If he's not there, knock on every door starting from the third floor up. Kotetsu, you take this building, same thing."

"Hayate!" Sai called as the two shinobi walked away, catching another shinobi's attention, and motioning toward the garbage. "Root through this shit. If this was a sink find me some metal parts. Give me a faucet or a drain cover or something."

Kakashi looked questioningly at Sai as the man turned to Danzao. "Chief, could you get ballistics down here and tell them they have to dig a senbon out of a brick wall," he said, pointing down the adjacent alley toward the end, "and locate another that's been thrown through a dumpster," he finished, pointing at the green container next to the trash.

Danzao nodded. "I've got the best ballistics guy in the world. He's mobile. Got all his stuff right in the van. Can have him down here in 10 minutes."

"How did you know that?" Kakashi asked, curiosity finally getting the better of him.

"Senbon holes are usually a big clue," Sai responded, the face smile still there. "You guys ready for the story?"

Kakashi didn't even have to look at Asuma to know that they had both nodded immediately.

"This was no gangland assassination," Sai began. "Though creative, it was way too sloppy. Something went wrong here. This has personal written all over it. Now, these men were crushed and the first natural reaction the body has to such trauma is to tense up. So now the two thrown senbon were reflex. These guys weren't throwing at anything, but they were just about to."

Sai turned as Izumo returned to the alley. "Agent Sai, this is all illegal loft housing so there's no manager on the premises but I found a lady on the fourth floor said she's had water dripping down on her whole place. Started just this morning."

"Fourth floor huh?" Sai asked, turning back to Kakashi and Asuma. "Then we're heading to the fifth. Let's go up and see just how right I am."

Kakashi noted the same arrogance in Sai's voice that Ebisu had, but if Sai was really as good as he appeared at the moment, Kakashi couldn't care less if he acted like a god to him.

* * *

As they'd entered the housing complex, Ebisu had returned, grudgingly presenting Sai with his requested coffee.

As the four of them entered the elevator, Asuma turned a questioning glance to Sai and asked, "So what are you thinking happened here?"

"Really want to know?" Sai asked with a smirk as the doors closed. Kakashi and the others nodded.

* * *

As the doors opened on the fifth floor, Ebisu was ranting again. "No way. You know how big a guy's gotta be to do that? Fucking huge."

Sai turned to Sai, disbelief and exasperation etched across his face, before a sly grin appeared on his face. "Hmmm. I think I might be wanting a bagel with my coffee."

As Sai exited the elevator, with Asuma following, Kakashi glanced at Ebisu.

He glared back. "I am _not_ getting him a fucking bagel."

Kakashi shrugged and followed the other two, and Ebisu followed, fuming. As Kakashi reached the room in question and he scanned the room, his eyes widened in awe, and Ebisu's jaw dropped in disbelief.

Sai smiled and turned toward Ebisu. "We'll start the ass kissing with you."

* * *

Outside the building again, Kakashi watched as Sai was approached once again by Izumo. He'd only known the man ten minutes, and he was already watching his every move, hoping to glean some bit of intelligence from him.

"Agent Sai. I know this neighborhood pretty good. There's a bar called Ichiraku's down the block. It's a good bet they were there last night."

Sai smiled in appreciation. "Good work, Izumo. I'll check that out myself," he said, before turning back to Kakashi. "I want A.P.B.'s put out. I want more shinobi on the streets. One thing's for sure, wherever these guys are they're hurting."

* * *

Sasuke sat in the hospital hallway, rubbing his head. If he took nothing else from this experience, it was that concrete hurt when you hit your head on it.

Naruto was next to him playing a hand-slapping game with the boy next to him, grinning as though nothing had happened. They were both still in their bedclothes, wearing only boxers and bathrobes, covered in blood (not all their own).

Sasuke glanced over at the door as it opened and nudged Naruto when he recognized Teuchi. Naruto, smiled and jumped up to meet him.

"Thanks for comin', Teuchi," he said, grinning.

"J-Jesus," Teuchi sputtered, as Sasuke stood up next to Naruto. "What the fuck happened? Are you b-boys all right?"

"We're alive," Sasuke replied glumly.

"A Root agent came by the bar," Teuchi told them, and Sasuke snapped his head up in surprise. "He left me his c-c, he left me his c-c… pah, he left me this," Teuchi finished, holding out a card.

Sasuke studied the card as Teuchi swore loudly, earning a glare from several of the nurses. '_Sai? Just Sai?_' Sasuke thought, confused. He glanced over at Naruto, who shrugged. He didn't know what to do either.

"What are you going to do?" Teuchi asked, looking between the two of them worriedly.

"We're going to turn ourselves in," Sasuke said simply, shrugging. "It was self defense."

"Y-y-yeah," Teuchi said, surprising the brothers. "That's what he said," Teuchi motioned toward the card.

"How the fuck's he know that?" Naruto asked, surprised as Sasuke. "We haven't spoken to anyone yet."

"Don't know," Teuchi said defensively. "He didn't say."

Sasuke and Naruto looked at each other in confusion. Naruto shrugged at picked up a paper bag that appeared to be filled with several heavy objects. "Listen, Teuchi," he said, turning to the bartender, "we need a favor."

"A-anything," Teuchi said.

"Hold this shit for us," Naruto said, passing the bag to Teuchi. "We'll be coming back for it when we get out."

"Right," Teuchi said, turning to leave. He managed to swear once more on his way out though, much to the displeasure of the nurses, and to the amusement of Sasuke and Naruto.

* * *

Kakashi sat at his desk, reading the latest of the Icha-Icha series, but couldn't seem to concentrate. It seemed like every other word out he'd hear buzzing around headquarters was about the case he'd just returned from and agent Sai's theory on the matter.

Kakashi looked over his book as he heard a very fast walk echo down the line of desks, and saw Sai himself walking down the aisle, a look of supreme irritation on his face. Ebisu glared at his back as Sai walked past his desk and continued to the end.

"First of all," Sai started loudly over the din of the room, and turning to glare at the shinobi as the noise died down. "I'd like to thank whichever one of you donut munching, barrel-assed dip-shits leaked this to the press. That's just what we need now, some sensational story in the papers making these guys out to be super heroes, triumphing over evil.

"And let me squash the rumors now," he said, leaning against a desk. "These two aren't heroes. They are two ordinary men who were put in an extraordinary situation and they just happened to come out on top. Yes, nothing from our far reaching computer system has turned up jack shit on these two.

"All we know is what we found out from their neighbors. And the general consensus is that they're…" Sai smirked and flapped his hands like wings. "Angels." He immediately frowned. "But angels don't kill and we got two bodies in the morgue that look like they've been _serial crushed by a huge fucking guy_."

Kakashi felt sorry for Ebisu, but he couldn't help but smirk at Sai's impression. A number of the other cops laughed as well and chided Ebisu.

Asuma's voice rose over the laughter. "Are these me considered armed and dangerous?"

"Well, not armed," Sai replied, crossing his arms. "If they had guns, they'd have used them. But dangerous? Oh yeah."

"What makes you think they're dangerous? They were just protecting each other."

"Look, look!" Sai exclaimed, frustrated, as he began pacing. "I'm not saying one way or the other. Just be careful and go by the protocol on this one."

"Any tips on where these guys may be?"

"Any word back from the E.R.s?" Sai asked, turning to Kakashi.

Kakashi sighed in frustration. "No help at all. Swamped from St. Patty's. Packed with drunk, bloody morons."

"Just hit the bricks nice and hard," Sai said tiredly. "Grunt police work is going to bring this one in."

"These guys are miles away by now," Ebisu interjected loudly. Kakashi stifled a groan as Sai rolled his eyes.

Kakashi tilted his head at some motion near the entrance of the station, to see two men in bloodied boxers and bathrobes enter. The blonde man was supporting the black-haired man, who appeared to have an injured leg. Sai cocked his head as the two came in, and the two grinned at Ebisu, who Kakashi realized was still talking.

"…but if you want to beat your head against a wall, then here's what you look for. These guys are scared like two little bunny rabbits. Anything in a uniform or flashing blue lights will spook them. So the only thing we can do is put dango on a string and drag it through Konoha."

"You'd probably have better luck with ramen," the blonde haired man said with a grin, as all the shinobi turned. The dark-haired man nodded in agreement.

"Oh, fuck…" Ebisu groaned, lowering his face and shaking his head.

"Detective Ebisu," Sai called with a grin. "Onion bagel, cream cheese."

Kakashi grinned. This was getting interesting.

* * *

A/N

OH NOEZ WHEREZ THE FIGHTZ PLZ.

This is how the movie flows, just for those who've never seen it. Don't worry, you'll see what happened to Zabuza and Haku soon.

Man the technology mix in this story is fun to mess with. Cars, but no guns.

A shiny penny to whoever guessed Sai would be the one playing Smecker. I think he's being a little bit too emotional as Sai, but whatever.

Tell me if I write the wrong name. I kept writing Smecker instead of Sai while I was typing this. Just message me or something if I fuck up and I'll go back and fix it.


	4. Zabuza's Revenge

_Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Boondock Saints belongs to Franchise Pictures._

**Zabuza's Revenge**

"So the guy tells the bartender, I did the same thing for both of them. I dropped my pants and showed 'em my dick!"

The shinobi gathered in the small interrogation room roared with laughter as Naruto finished the joke. Naruto laughed along with them as those closest to him patted him on the back.

He spotted Sasuke chuckling in the corner, leaning against the wall. It was hard to get him to laugh (unless he was trashed), but he usually perked up in cheery atmospheres. Naruto figured it was hard not to be in a good mood with the whole police force laughing with you and congratulating you.

He didn't even see Sasuke's smirk falter as the detective he'd seen earlier burst into the room, breaking up the shinobi. "What the fuck is this!? This isn't a fuckin' tea party. Get out! Only thing I want in here is them."

As the shinobi filed out, patting Naruto and Sasuke on the backs as they left, Sasuke left the corner and sat down. Sai finished herding the shinobi out before sitting down in the chair across from them.

Naruto had been cautious around this particular detective since he'd seen the man's card. He wasn't afraid to admit that he was a bit frightened of the man who had somehow figured out everything they'd done earlier this morning without even talking to them. Or anyone else for that matter. However, he'd been nothing if not kind to them since they'd gotten to the station, so Naruto had given him the benefit of the doubt. Sasuke was still a bit wary of the man, but he was like that with everyone.

After looking the two over, Sai motioned toward the recorder on the table. "This conversation is going to be recorded. Just answer to the best of your knowledge."

However, before Sai could reach forward to press the record button, Naruto reached forward to stop him. Sai looked up in surprise, as Naruto flashed a quick grin. "Excuse me, sir. Could you give us a moment?" Sai hesitated for a second before smiling slightly and leaning back in his chair.

Naruto turned his head in Sasuke's direction, and began speaking quietly in Suna. "_What do we tell him about the weapons and money_?"

"_We just got up and left_," Sasuke said back. "_Bum must have rolled them before the police got there_."

Naruto smirked and turned back to Sai and spoke in Leaf. "Okay. We're ready."

Sai cocked his head at them in curiosity of the brothers' fluency of Latin, before leaning forward and pressing the record button. "You guys are not under oath, here. I am assuming you knew these two guys from before?"

Naruto raised his eyebrows, as Sasuke leaned forward and rested his head on his hands and told Sai, "We... met them last night."

Sai cocked an eyebrow. "They had some pretty interesting bandages. Know anything about that?"

Naruto glanced at Sasuke, who nodded.

* * *

Naruto stood glaring at Zabuza after having the shot glasses slapped out of their hands as Sasuke tried to reason with them. "If you want a fight, you can see you're outnumbered. We're trying to be civil here, so I suggest you take our offer."

"I make the offers, ass-hole," Zabuza spat.

Naruto lurched to the left as Kiba shoved his way past them toward Zabuza, still incredibly drunk. Naruto panicked, and reached forward to pull him back. However, Kiba had already started yelling at Zabuza, encouraged by the anger at the thought of losing his favorite bar, with some help from the pints of alcohol he'd consumed that night.

"Hey, there Zabuza," he yelled, smirking and raising his fingers in emphasis. "What would you say, if I told you that your ugly cunt of a mother sucked so much dick..."

Crack! Kiba flew back against the bar as Zabuza's fist impacted against his face. With a thud and a groan, Kiba hit the floor, knocked out. Naruto turned on Zabuza, eyes flashing red with slitting pupils in his anger as he yelled at Zabuza in Mist, "_Now, that wasn't too polite, was it_?"

Sasuke joined in, eyes changing into the red, spiraled shape of the sharingan in his own rage, "I'm afraid we can't let that one go, Ivan."

Zabuza and the other thugs took a step back in shock at the brothers' fluency. The other four men in the bar also looked impressed.

Naruto flashed a look at Sasuke, who smirked and said, "I don't think mom would mind." Naruto grinned as the two of them both grabbed a shot glass from the bar and downed them. In a flash, the two dropped the glasses and brought their fists up to connect with Zabuza's stomach, throwing him against the opposing wall with a crack. He fell face-first to the floor with a crunch.

In seconds the bar reduces to a brawl arena as the remainder of the drinkers launch themselves forward to assault the Mist thugs. Shikamaru and Chouji had charged the black haired man on the right, Chouji holding him while Shikamaru took swings at him with a bar stool. Neji had paralyzed the other by striking a nerve point, leaving Lee an opportunity to land a heavy punch and sending him through a table and several chairs.

Naruto, however, had been grabbed by the smaller, effeminate man and thrown and was brawling with him in the middle of the bar. Lee leapt forward in an attempt to help, only to be grabbed and held back by Sasuke. "No! Let him go! He knows what he's doing!"

Naruto lunged forward in an attempt at a swing, and found himself falling forward as his foot slipped on the beer Zabuza had thrown to the ground. With a presented opportunity, the small man grabbed the color of Naruto's coat and threw him against a wine rack. As the small man reached back into his pack to grab a weapon, Naruto reached back and grabbed two wine bottle handles, and yanked them forward to shatter them over the smaller man's head. The man dropped to the ground, unconscious and bleeding from the forhead.

There's a moment of silence in the bar before Sasuke smirked, "Nicely done, dobe!"

Naruto smiled at his handiwork. He'd been pretty good tying knots, ever since he was kid. The three lackeys Zabuza had brought with him were still unconscious, and tied to one of the support beams. They'd all taken a beating, and Naruto guessed at least the girly guy would be out for the night, and probably had a concussion. Although, he was sure the others wouldn't be up anytime soon. His friend were some of the best fighters he knew.

Zabuza however, had only been stunned, and would wake up soon, which was why he was tied facedown to the bar. In fact, he'd just started waking up as Sasuke was pouring straight Hennessey all over Zabuza's ass, the other bar patrons roaring with laughter.

Naruto looked over to the booths and grinned to see Kiba sitting up. Or trying to at least. Grabbing Kiba's arm, Naruto pulled him to his feet and led him over to the bar, where others cheered and laughed at his hit.

Kiba still had some aggression in him, it seemed, as he delivered a brutal punch to Zabuza's unguarded face, igniting another round of cheers from the bar patrons.

"Alright, boys," Sasuke said loudly, catching everyone's attention. "Now, like my fine brother says, on St. Patty's everyone's Irish. And this piece of shit," he said, pushing Zabuza's face into an ashtray, "is about to be… _initiated_."

With a round of applause, Sasuke lit a match, held it up for them to see, and threw it on Zabuza's backside, throwing a bright orange flame into the air. With a scream of pain, Zabuza thrashed around on the table, begging to be released.

* * *

Sasuke sat up in his bed, clutching his head. Goddamn, he hated hangovers. He winced as his hand found a soft spot on his chest where he'd been hit the night before. Sasuke grinned as memories of the previous night flooded back.

They'd let Zabuza and his men go, eventually. He'd gotten chewed out by some of his friends for letting the fire burn so long. He didn't mind what they'd said though. Anyway stupid enough to hurt his friends deserved a beating in return.

He looked around his and Naruto's little home. It was a pretty much one-room setup, with only a small hovel attached for the oven and fridge. The rest of it, shower, toilet, dressers, everything was scattered around the room. The only exits were the main door and another door leading to the roof.

Their beds were on the floor, up against the wall, under the windows on the east side of the room. Between them a small alarm clock sat next to a small picture of two boys standing beside a woman with blonde ponytails, all three of them smiling. A faint smile crept across Sasuke's lips as he glanced at it.

Naruto started to stir, and then sat up, holding his own head in pain. They looked at each other for a moment, each wearing a bathrobe covering in blood from the previous night. Then they both laughed for a moment, before clutching their heads in pain again.

Bam!

Sasuke and Naruto both jumped as the front door blew open, Sasuke turned quickly in time to see Zabuza's face before getting smashed in the face with the blunt end of a kunai. Sasuke fell to the floor with a crash, dazed.

As he tried to focus, he managed to notice that Zabuza had several bandages surrounding the burnt out area of his pants. He also saw that the effeminate man from the previous night was there as well, and had several bandages around his head. He also registered that Zabuza had dragged his limp form over to the toilet and handcuffed him to it, and was now whispering angrily into Sasuke's ear.

"I was going to kill you. But I'm not. Instead, I'm going to kill your brother." Sasuke's heart skipped a beat, as he looked over to Naruto in fear. "I'm going to take him down to the dumpster and I'm going to stab him in the throat. Then I'm going to throw his dead body in the garbage. Trash guys are coming in 10 minutes, gotta go."

He motioned to his partner, and dragged Naruto out the door, who began screaming at them, "It was just a bar fight! You guys are fuckin' pussies!"

Sasuke began screaming in pain and fear and desperation, screaming Naruto's name and throwing insults at the thugs, despite them having left the roof. In his rage, he began tearing at the toilet and pulling on the chains, desperately trying to break free. Blood flowed down his hands and fingers as the handcuffs tore into his skin, while blood flowed down his face from where Zabuza had hit him.

* * *

Naruto gasped in pain as the girly man threw him into the trash outside his home. The man walked away, scanning the alley for witnesses, as Zabuza walked forward and pointed a kunai onto Naruto's forehead, causing a stream of blood to slide down his face.

"I hope your conscience is clear, brat."

* * *

Sasuke pulled frantically at the chains, tearing his hands apart with stress. With a shattering sound and a rush of water past his feet, the toilet uprooted right out of the floor.

In his panic, Sasuke continued to carry the toilet, and took the shortest path outside: through the other door to the roof. Slamming through the door, toilet in hand, he rushed to the sill of the roof and looked over the edge, where Naruto gaped up at him in disbelief.

Without thought of his own safety, Sasuke hauled the toilet over the roof at Zabuza, and jumped off the fifth floor after it toward Zabuza's partner. With a crunch, he saw the toilet shatter over Zabuza's head moments before colliding with the smaller man.

The impact against the smaller man's spine struck a nerve, causing his arms to spasm and launching two senbon in opposing directions.

This was all Sasuke managed to see before his legs gave out under him, and his skull collided with the pavement.

* * *

As the girly man tried to get up after getting hit by Sasuke, Naruto quickly grabbed the toilet lid and swung several blows against his head. The man quickly fell to the ground and stopped moving.

Naruto quickly checked Sasuke for a pulse, then grabbed a paper sack from the garbage pile. His hands flashed through Zabuza's pockets, removing keys, weapons, money, anything of value, before hurrying over to the girly man body and doing the same.

Using the handcuff as a grip, Naruto quickly hauled Sasuke's limp body over his shoulder and ran out of the alley, desperately hurrying to a hospital.

* * *

Sai chuckled as the brothers finished their story, and they chuckled as well. "So, how is it that you guys are fluent in Mist?" he asked cautiously.

"We paid attention in school," said Sasuke with a grin.

"Know any other languages?"

"Sure," Naruto said carefully. "Our mother insisted on it. For example, Lightning. _How do you think he figured all this out without talking to us_?"

Sasuke looked over at Naruto and joined in. "Sound. _I have no idea. Maybe someone saw and talked_."

Naruto frowned, "Rock. _Not in our neighborhood, man. A hundred percent Leaf. No one talks to cops. Period_."

"Wave. _Then I guess he's just real... real good_."

Sai smiled is amazement, "What are you guys doing working at a fucking meat packing plant?"

The two laughed as Izumo entered and addressed Sai. "Ah, Agent Smecker, we have a problem."

"What?"

"The press is everywhere outside. They're going nuts for these guys. What do you want to do?"

"You're not being charged," Sai told the brothers. "It's up to you. Do you want to talk to them?"

"Absolutely not," Sasuke said simply.

"No pictures, either," Naruto added. "Any way we can stay here?"

"Sure, we have an empty holding cell," Izumo replied enthusiastically, before remembering Sai. "They can... can they stay?"

Sai smirked, "Well, we'll have to check with your mother, but it's ok with me if your friends sleep over."

Naruto and Sasuke both laughed as Izumo lowered his head in embarrassment.

Sai grinned and stood up with a sigh, "Time to feed the dogs."

* * *

Kiba fidgeted impatiently as Chief Danzao came out of the police station. He'd nearly had a heart attack when he'd heard that the goons from the bar had come back for revenge against Naruto and Sasuke, but was relieved and a bit jealous when he'd heard that they'd survived and were considered local heroes for it.

He'd gotten a call from them early in the afternoon with a request to grab some of their clothes and their crosses and bring them to the station. Kiba had tried to apologize to them for starting the fight, but Sasuke had just told him that even if he hadn't said anything, the thugs were up to no good, and would've started one anyway if they hadn't left.

Kiba had always been nervous around the police, especially after an incident he was involved in with the Sound Mob got him sent to prison for a month. He wanted to get in and out quick.

The chief of police stood at the top of the station steps as he started the news interview. Kiba perked up and listened. He'd already been told they'd gotten off on self defense, but he wanted to be sure.

"This is our official statement," Danzao started. "The brothers are not being charged with a crime. It was a clean-cut case of self defense. We have thanked them for their cooperation and we thank you, the media, for your tireless pursuit of the truth."

As the reporters pressed for details, Kiba slid around them, clutching the bag with Naruto's and Sasuke's things tightly. As he passed through the door, he received a quick look from a dark haired detective with a fake-looking smile.

* * *

Naruto roared with delight as Kiba entered the cell, running over and hugging him as he brought out their things. Kiba reached into his shirt to reveal his and Sasuke's cross necklaces. With a pat on the back from Sasuke, they invited him to play cards with them, Izumo and Kotetsu.

* * *

A/N

Woo! Another chapter done! And it only took me until 3 am to do it!

I did a tally, and unless I miss my guess, there will be 14 chapters total. So you all now have some target time of when the end is near.

This is getting tricky to write without letting the characters use guns. Also, since I'm writing this using the screenplay as the base, I keep slipping into present-tense, making me have to go back and fix everything. If you noticed I fucked up, let me know so I can fix it!

It kinda sucked killing off Haku. He's one of my favorite characters. But I lined up the characters to fit in where they could, and the role of the Russians just fit well with Zabuza and Haku.

For my (few) reviewers:

_anime aficionado: Why yes, Boondock Saints does kick much ass! And I thought about having Kakashi play Smecker, but I just can't imagine him into the gay persona. Well, I can imagine it, but I just can't write it. Sai's a lot easier to write into the role._

_Kiro: I know the senbon thing was a stretch. But no guns in the story, and I'm trying to follow the movie. Also, Gai as Vincenzo would be AMAZING! I can't really write Gai's dialog imaginatively enough, though. I'm just not YOUTHFUL enough. So he probably won't be in this story…. No wait, I just realized the perfect role for him! You'll see him, but it'll be awhile._


	5. Epiphany

_Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Boondock Saints belongs to Franchise Pictures._

**Epiphany**

Sasuke and Naruto shook violently in their sleeps. Images of the attack from the day before flashed through their minds. Dark images of mafia thugs scattering the streets of Konoha flitted through their minds. Images of their friends' bodies lying bloodied on the ground and outlined in chalk. Images of drug dealers, pimps, murderers, loose on the streets. Good men and women dying at the hands of thieves, children abandoned in the gutter.

Water dripped down from the cracked and shattered ceiling onto their restless forms, shirtless from the night's unusual heat.

Their sleep grew more restless as dark images of an older blonde woman's corpse flashed into their heads. The vision of two small boys standing in a morgue crying and being taken away. The words of Father Sarutobi filled their minds. "We must fear evil men and deal with them accordingly but what we must truly guard against, what we must fear most is the indifference of good men."

In a flurry of motion, they both awaken with a start and lean forward, eyes wide open in realization and understanding. Water dripped onto their faces, sliding down their cheeks like tears. They turned to each other, and saw the knowledge they had gained in the others' eyes as well.

Sasuke spoke first, "Destroy all that which is evil..."

"...so that which is good may flourish," Naruto replied.

* * *

Naruto awoke the next morning, an incessant beeping hammering into his head. He growled angrily, swinging his arm in hopes of destroying the cursed noise that forces him to wake up, only to have his arm flail into nothingness. The evil noise continued.

Naruto sat up in annoyance, as memories of what had happened and where he was slowly flowed back into place in his mind. He turned as a load creak split the near darkness, spotting Sasuke glaring at Naruto, as if he was the source of the noise. Naruto smiled faintly in apology, before turning to find the source of noise.

"It's a pager," he said, surprised, fishing it out of his bathrobe pocket, and tossing it to Sasuke. "That Zabuza guy's."

Sasuke flipped it over in his hands and pushed a button, staring at it intensely. It seemed to Naruto that Sasuke seemed to want it broken as much as he did, but instead he merely shrugged and pocketed it, and stood up to get dressed.

Naruto gave Sasuke a questioning look, before standing up to dress as well. Silences like this usually meant Sasuke was planning something, and years of fights and arguments between the two had taught Naruto that if there ever a time to shut up and not bother Sasuke, it was when he was planning.

As Naruto followed Sasuke out of the holding cells, they came across several of the detectives they had met the previous day, who greeted them warmly and offered them coffee and donuts. Sasuke declined, only borrowing a piece of paper and a pen.

"Be right back," he said, with a look at Naruto. Naruto nodded in return, before turning back to the shinobi. Sasuke may be too serious to take time to have some fun, but there was certainly no reason for Naruto to stop himself from indulging himself in some casual conversation.

The taller shinobi with a beard smiled and lowered his head in a mock bow, "We would be honored, sir, if you would join us peasants, in a donut."

Naruto blinked in confusion as the group chuckled. The shinobi next to him, one with a mask over his mouth and throat, reached back behind him. He pulled out a newspaper and tossed Naruto the day's edition of the Konoha Globe, with a headlining title, "The Saints of South Konoha."

Naruto studied the first few lines. "Saints?" He thought for a moment before barking a laugh, and holding up his coffee in jest.

"I will not accept this coffee until my feet have been properly anointed," he said jokingly and the shinobi chuckled and laughed.

* * *

Sasuke held the phone closely to his ear as he dialed in the last few digits read on the side of the beeper onto the pay phone. He pulled the pen and paper out of his pocket as the phone began ringing. He sputtered a bit in surprise as the receiver picked up and the man on the other end began talking quickly in Mist.

As Sasuke stuttered in his own Mist, he realized this was a recorded message and began scribbling the message rapidly onto the paper, as the message abruptly stopped and the phone disconnected.

"MEETING AT ST. MINATO HOTEL IN DOWNTOWN KONOHA. ROOM 587. 8:45."

Frowning at the shortness of the message, but slightly grateful at the simplicity, he hung up the phone before kissing his cross necklace and saying a quick thank you and turning to go meet up with Naruto.

* * *

Kiba stood nervously before the door. He hated being here. The Sound offices were nice and all, but damn it, Orochimaru scared the shit out of him. And that jackass Kabuto gave him crap all the time. He wasn't sure what he'd done to piss the guy off, but he sure as hell wasn't going to be nice to the asshole if he wouldn't return the favor.

He turned the knob, and sure enough, the first thing he saw was the asshole walking up to him. He could see Orochimaru sitting at the far desk, listening intently to the conversation on the other end of a phone call. Kabuto sneered at him as he approached.

"Well, it's the _funny man_," Kabuto leered. Kiba held a package for Orochimaru in his left hand, and Kabuto gestured for it. "Give it here, package boy."

"Kidomaru said it was important," Kiba shot back. "Said I had to give it to him myself."

Kabuto glared before snatching the package out of Kiba's hand. "Gimme the fucking thing. Now sit the fuck down!" he whispered angrily, pointing to the chair in front of Orochimaru's desk.

Kiba fumed as he did what he was told, sitting in front of Orochimaru. The pale man raised his finger to silence them as Kabuto placed the package in front of him.

Kiba and Kabuto sat for a few moments, before Kabuto leaned over, mocking Kiba silently, "I'm Kiba. I'm the funny man. Hee Hee. I'm so fucking funny. Hee Hee."

"Fuck you Kabuto," Kiba hissed.

"Tell me a joke funny man. Hee Hee."

"Hey, how's it treating ya', being Orochimaru's bitch? Rectal bleeding sucks, I hear."

Kabuto growled in anger, standing up. Kiba quickly held up his hands in defense. "Hey, hey, hey, slow down…"

"Fuck you!" Orochimaru suddenly shouted into the phone causing the two of them to jump. "I could snap my fingers and have you dead in four hours, rotting in a truck off of Sunagakure! You insignificant little fuck! I always get my fucking money!"

He slammed down the receiver as sat down, rubbing his temples. Kiba and Kabuto were quiet, scared but attempting to look calm and composed.

"Fucking 90's are killing me," Orochimaru sighed. He gestured tiredly toward the phone. "I shouldn't have done that. You're not supposed to tell a guy you're going to kill him anymore. I have to tip-toe through the tulips with these assholes. I prance. I'm a prancer. It's what I do... sucked all the fun right out of this job."

Orochimaru leaned forward and began unwrapping the paper bag. Kiba looked up in interest, wondering what he'd been asked to deliver. His face fell as Orochimaru removed a sandwich from the bag, and he could hear Kabuto chuckling silently.

"Uh, Orochimaru," he asked cautiously, "you want me to go now?"

Orochimaru held up his hand, telling him to wait. "I always see you talking to the boys and making them laugh. They always come around telling me what a crack up you are. What is it they call you?"

"Um," Kiba stuttered. He could practically feel the grin widening across Kabuto's face. "The... The funny man."

"The funny man," Orochimaru nodded. "Well, I got a new job for you, just for now." Kiba blinked in surprise. "Kiba, I'm having a real shitty day. I'm depressed. Tell me a funny story or a joke."

Kiba's heart stopped for a moment. He knew Kabuto was probably smirking broadly at his predicament now. "Uh. Okay... um... you hear the one about the, no fuck that one... uh... oh! oh! Well... shit."

Orochimaru turned to Kabuto, waving his hand at the sandwich in disappoint at the lack of toppings, before turning back and biting back into it. Kiba gulped nervously before beginning.

"Okay, there's three guys, you know, sitting around in a bar talking about sports and jobs and shit, you know. So, these guys, right, they get talking about their families, and the first guy, he's like, 'I got four sons. One more and I can have my own basketball team, right?' And, and the second guy's like, 'That's nothing,' um, shit. Uh, he says 'I got nine sons, one more and I've got whole baseball team.' And the third guy, he's like a Mormon, right? And he's like… um."

Kiba sputtered to a stop. Orochimaru was between bites, and staring at him in confusion, and Kabuto looked like he was about to burst out laughing at Kiba's situation. "I'm sorry Orochimaru. I can't. This joke sucks. I'm just not funny today, I'm sorry."

Orochimaru furrowed his brows, before setting down his sandwich and folding his hands together. "Continue the joke," he said calmly.

Kiba sighed in exasperation, slumping into his seat. "So the third guy says, 'I got seventeen wives, one more and I'll have my own golf course.'"

There was long silence before Orochimaru burst out laughing, clutching his sides. Kabuto began laughing as well, apparently surprised by Kiba's sense of humor. Kiba let out a quiet sigh of relief before laughing nervously along with them.

"Very good stuff, Kiba. Very good stuff," Orochimaru told Kiba as his laughter began to slow. "Tell me another one."

"What?" Kiba said in horror, before Orochimaru laughed again at the look on Kiba's face.

* * *

Naruto reached into the paper bag and began emptying it onto the table in front of them. The table was soon piled with their loot from Zabuza and the girly man; several kunai, several dozen senbon, two gold watches, the beeper, and several thousand dollars.

The girl across from them gaped at the pile. She was the proprietor of an underground weapons provider, with brown hair pulled back into two buns. She waved her hand and flicked a switch behind her. "Help yourselves," she said, tossing them a couple duffle bags and motioning to the now well-lit room behind them.

Naruto and Sasuke turned as the woman picked up the wads of money, realizing that the room behind them was filled with weapons, lining the walls and tables around the room. Naruto grinned in delight as he rushed in.

As Sasuke threw several masks and gloves into the bags, Naruto began piling kunai packs into his own bag. Most weapon arsenals in the city had taken to the habit of putting kunai, shuriken and senbon of 

the same style into packs, usually in numbers of twelve to fifteen. Naruto had decided on several dozen packs of a specially-made kunai style designed for speed with curved blades and a strange seal band wrapped around all the handles. He spotted a large hunting knife next to the kunai, and with a quick look to make sure Sasuke had his back turned, tossed it in as well.

"Know what we need, man," he heard Sasuke mutter behind him. "Some rope."

Naruto snorted. "For what?"

"Charlie Bronson's always got rope," Sasuke replied, looking over several lines of rope.

Naruto turned and looked incredulously at his brother. "What?"

"Yeah," Sasuke said seriously, turning and looking at Naruto while throwing his selection of shuriken into his own bag. "These guys always got a lot of rope strapped around them in the movies and they always end up using it."

Naruto shook his head as he set his duffel bag down, "Oh, you've lost it, haven't you?"

"I'm serious," Sasuke said defensively.

"Me too!" Naruto said, picking up and swinging a sword as tall as he was. "That's stupid. Name one thing we're gonna need it for."

"I don't know," Sasuke huffed, setting his bag down next to Naruto's. "They just always need it."

"What is all this 'they' shit?" Naruto said, setting down the sword and rifling through a stack of explosive tags. "This ain't a movie."

"Is that right, Rambo?" he heard Sasuke say, and turned quickly to see him holding the knife he'd grabbed.

Naruto snatched it out of his hands and threw it into his bag, before turning back and glaring at Sasuke. "All right, get the stupid fucking rope."

"I will," Sasuke said with a smirk, tossing a large coil into the bag. "I will get the stupid rope."

* * *

Sasuke glanced at his watch for what seemed like the thousandth time in the last twenty minutes. 8:44. Close enough. He nudged Naruto in the side, and nodded his head towards the door. Naruto replied with a nod, and the two of them picked up their duffel bags and made their way across the street to the entrance of the St. Minato Hotel.

They crossed the posh lobby, ignoring looks from the more upstanding citizens in the building, and made their way to the elevators. As Sasuke pressed the up button and the doors pinged open, Sasuke felt a heavy hand settle and squeeze his shoulder. He turned to look into the face of a man giving him a smile with sharp teeth resembling a shark's.

The man was a little shorter than Sasuke was. He had medium-length, pale blue hair, and a sleeveless purple shirt. He had a twisted grin spread across his face, and his hand was rested on a large sword strapped on his back. "I'm a bit late for a meeting," he said, baring his teeth. He squeezed tighter on Sasuke's shoulder. "I'd appreciate it if you'd let me go first."

Naruto glared at the man, before shooting a questioning glance to Sasuke. Sasuke nodded slowly, sending a warning glance over to Naruto.

"Appreciate it," the man said, entering the elevator.

As the doors closed, Sasuke watched the floor numbers above the elevator light up in sequence until stopping on the fifth floor. He shot a quick glance at Naruto, who nodded silently as Sasuke pressed the button again. As they entered the elevator, Sasuke quickly pressed the sixth floor button and glared at a tall orange-haired man tried to enter. The man stepped back in fear as the elevator doors slid shut.

The two stood in silence as the elevator bell rang four times, at which point Sasuke tapped the emergency stop button between the fifth and sixth floors.

He looked over at Naruto, who was staring intently at his feet. He looked up at Sasuke as the elevator slid to a halt, and showed a half-hearted grin. "Nervous?" he asked quietly.

"A bit," Sasuke replied honestly. He was usually the one who always was ready, but then again, neither he nor Naruto had ever done anything like this before.

Naruto nodded slightly. "Me, too."

At the same time, they reached down into their bags and pulled on their gloves and masks.

* * *

A/N

Knock another one down, only 9 more chapters to go!

Sorry about double posting chapter 4. I'm still trying to get used to the upload setup.

This chapter actually turned out longer than I thought it would. Having the artistic license to decide the characters' emotions in the story sure gives you a lot to write about doesn't it?

Also, I was happy that I finally got to write from Kiba's POV. His role in this story is one of my favorites.

The next chapter will be a long one, but it won't be up for a while. I've got finals to study for, so that's going to suck up my time for the next couple weeks. At the rate I'm going though, I might be done with this story in about a month, tops. But I'm a moderately optimistic person, so that might be bullshit.

REVIEW YOU BASTARDS! Like I said, if I suck, let me know!


	6. Slaughter

_Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Boondock Saints belongs to Franchise Pictures._

**Slaughter**

_BRIIIIIING. BRIIIIIIING._

Sai cracked an eye open and forced his arm to move quickly toward the light switch. With a quick flick, the room filled with light. Sai groaned silently as he heard a noise behind him. The young man next to him rustled and turned toward him, waking up to due to the light and phone.

_BRIIIIIING._

Sai quickly picked up the receiver and winced as he felt an arm his torso. He hated it when people wanted to… _spoon_.

Sai quickly turned his attention to the receiver, hoping his lack of interest would deter the affection he was receiving from the man next to him… Dan. Was that his name? Fuck it, Sai didn't care.

"Uh, huh?" Sai asked into the phone. The voice of officer Hayate came through the line.

"There's been a mass homicide at the St. Minato Hotel, Detective Sai. Detective Kakashi suggested calling you right away, since, well, all of them were high ranking members of the Mist Mafia."

Sai frowned, "Room number?"

"587."

Sai groaned in frustration, while Dan rubbed his head against Sai's chest. With a quick flick, Sai's hand shot forward and smacked Dan on the cheek. He didn't hit hard, but still put in enough force to make Dan reel back in shock.

Ignoring Dan, Sai turned back to the phone. "We got a time of death?"

"About 9:00 PM last night."

Sai sighed and looked at the clock. 4:39. Over seven hours. The trail would be cold. "What's the body count?"

"Nine. Detective Kakashi and Asuma both say that your advice would be greatly appreciated."

"Uh, huh."

Sai jumped a bit as Dan suddenly lunged forward and wrapped his arms incredibly tightly around Sai's torso and squeezing defiantly. Angrily, Sai pulled his hand back and slapped Dan on the cheek. HARD. Dan leapt back, shocked and hurt.

"I'll be down there in a bit," Sai said thru the phone, and as an afterthought. "Keep the press out."

He hung up the receiver and turned to Dan, who glared at him angrily. "What are you doing?"

Dan huffed. "I was just trying to cuddle."

"Cuddle?" Sai shook his head in disgust. "What a fag!"

Without even looking at Dan's reaction, Sai got out of bed, got dressed, and walked out of the hotel room.

* * *

Sai walked down the hallway of the St. Minato Hotel's fifth floor. Passing officers nodded respectfully as he passed by, and he nodded in return. The best way to keep subordinates working hard, in Sai's opinion, was to make them think you cared even a little about their welfare. Sai didn't, of course, but he needed competent lackeys if this case was going to be solved quickly.

However, there were those that just seemed to obstinately refuse to use logic at all, like the sun glassed man standing outside the room in question. Sai smirked as he approached Ebisu. The man didn't look happy at all to see him. He'd probably the only one, if any, to oppose Kakashi and Asuma's decision to call Sai in.

"The huge fucking guy has struck again, hasn't he, Ebisu?"

Ebisu's face sank before he glared at Sai. "Why do you always disrespect me like that?"

Sai smiled and shook his head. "Respect is earned, Ebisu, never given. Guys like you should have to follow me around squabbling for the scraps from my table."

Sai smirked again and motioned for Ebisu to follow him before entering the room. Ebisu clearly huffed before starting after him.

* * *

Sai whistled in surprise at the scene before him. It was a large living room with a sunken center and high ceiling. Bodies scattered the floor and couches in a circle around the center of the room, all stuck with kunai or shuriken, except the man in the middle, who had been beheaded. All of them were either on their backs or seated with their heads up, with bright new pennies covering their eyes.

The headless man in the middle of the room was a large (and somewhat heavy-looking) blue skinned and haired man lying next to a large sword wrapped in a large amount of wrapping. Several officers that tried to approach it and dust for prints jumped as it wriggled and shook when they got near.

Sai noticed a spray of debris surrounding the body of the large man in the center of the room and looked up. In the ceiling was a large, rough hole with several strands of rope hanging around the edges. From what Sai could see, the hole connected to the elaborate ductwork that lied over the floor of the building.

Detective Kakashi and Detective Asuma watched him quietly from the side of the man in the center of the room as Sai walked slowly around the couches and did a body count. Eight. He hopped nimbly up onto the back of the couches to get an overhead view, and quickly spotted the ninth body draped 

behind the far couch of the room. He smirked and turned to Ebisu, who blinked in surprise at the attention he was receiving.

"How many bodies, Ebisu?" Sai said, slyly. He saw Kakashi's eyebrow raise and a grin spread across Asuma's face.

Ebisu frowned and scanned the room quickly, counting the bodies he could see around the room. "Eight." His eyes widened as he heard Asuma chuckle and quickly looked again to spot two detectives near the ninth body raise their eyebrows at him. "No! Shit! I didn't see that one. Nine! Nine!"

Sai smiled as Kakashi and Asuma chuckled at Ebisu's sputters. "While Ebisu's getting coffee, anybody else want anything?"

Ebisu growled in anger as turned and stalked toward the door. "Shit! Shit!"

Sai turned back to the two in the center of the room as Ebisu left. "So Asuma, got any theories?"

Asuma sighed and looked around before starting. "These guys were pros. I think they were coming for one target," he motioned toward the headless man, "the fag man, he was the..."

"The what man?" Sai said, smirking at the surprised Asuma.

Asuma blinked in surprise, and sputtered, "The fat man." Kakashi smirked at Asuma's mistake as he turned red in embarrassment.

Sai smiled wryly and began walking along the top of the couches. "Well, Freud was right," he said, as Asuma turned even redder. "So you think they came for the fag man, huh? And what do you base this upon?"

Asuma calmed down a bit before continuing. "He was the only one done right. Two cuts from both sides of the neck to behead him."

"And the pennies?" Sai questioned, impressed at the unusually high level of ability shown by Asuma. He might still be able to make a decent detective out of these guys yet.

"New hitman wants to leave his mark."

Sai sighed. Asuma had been so close, too. "That's a possibility. You know you Konoha cops are perking up. That's two sound theories in one day, neither of which deals with abnormally sized men. Another possibility is that they were placed there with religious intent."

Asuma shrugged. "Yeah. Some cultures still put pennies in the eyes of the dead, or silver. The Wave. The Whirlpool. The Sound."

Kakashi piped in. "What's the symbology there?"

Sai glared at Kakashi, who shrank back. So much for hoping Konoha cops could show signs of intelligence. "Symbology? Well, now that Asuma has relinquished his King Bone Head crown I see we have an heir to the throne. I'm sure the word you were looking for was _symbolism_. What's the _symbolism_ there?"

Sai hopped down from the couch and approached Kakashi as he continued. "Let me explain it to you. In Greek and Roman mythology when you died you would have to pay the toll to Charon, the boatman who ferried you across to the gates of judgment. This made sure the dead came to atone for what they did during their lives, Detective Hatake."

Kakashi's eyes widened, impressed. "Holy shit. You're the first one that's ever pronounced that right on the first try."

Sai smirked, "Yeah, well... I'm an expert in name-ology."

* * *

Sai crouched on the floor, clothes unkempt. His eyes flashed around the center of the room, studying carefully the body of the "fat man." His gloved hands carefully felt over the wounds of the man, as he studied the scene.

His eyes flicked toward the door for a moment as he watched a disgruntled-looking Ebisu enter the room, carrying a small cup of coffee. Sai smiled slightly. While it was true he hoped for lackeys with some iota of intelligence, those without certainly had their uses.

Sai turned back to the body and sighed, catching the attention of Detectives Kakashi and Asuma. He motioned toward the slice marks across the neck. "I've seen cuts like these before. They used speed-enhancing kunai. Look at these entry and exit wounds. They're identical."

Sai motioned toward his own neck as he continued his explanation. "The two kunai went in here, diagonally through the lower neck, criss-crossed and exited through the other side. This one clue tells us three distinct facts. Number one... Asuma."

Asuma furrowed his brows in thought, as he took a slow drag from the cigarette in his mouth. He made small motions with his hands, showing his thought processes as he pondered the body. "They… cut him at a downward angle." He blinked in realization. "They put him on his knees."

"Excellent!" Sai exclaimed with a large smile. "Number two. Ebisu."

Ebisu jumped, not realizing Sai had noticed him. "Uh. Shit, I, uh… They… put him on his knees?"

Sai shook his head and sighed in exasperation. "_It tells us_ that he was the last to die. All these men were carrying. They came in, dropped all in seconds and then took their time with fag man. Didn't they, Asuma?!" Asuma turned red again as Sai released a psychotic laugh. "They sure as fuck did! And number three, Kakashi."

"Uh..." Kakashi blinked and shrugged in response. "Two shooters!"

"Fan-fucking-tastic!" Sai said ecstatically, as Ebisu gaped and sputtered.

Sai smiled wryly as Kakashi and Asuma looked on expectantly. Like good little lap dogs, waiting for a treat from their master. "Now stay with me, boys. What did they do to make two such identical wounds? Did one guy put him on his knees, cut him, sit him back up and cut him again the same way? No. Two men of similar height dropped this guy down, each put some blade to his neck and shink! That's all she fuckin' wrote!"

"What about one guy with two guns?" Sai's eyes flashed over to Asuma, who sunk nervously under his gaze.

"Possible, but unlikely," Sai said, calming himself down a bit. "The angles are too extreme. A guy holding two kunai to the back of your head is gonna cut straight across. He wouldn't cock out his elbows, makes no sense. Besides, you telling me one guy came in here and killed eight men with eight extremely well aimed throws in just a few seconds? No way. Had to be at least two."

* * *

At the same time, both Naruto and Sasuke pulled on their black masks and gloves. They quickly pulled out and strapped on several packs of kunai and shuriken and attached them to their legs and arms.

Sasuke quickly pulled out the large coil of rope he had picked up from the arms dealer and tossed it over his shoulder. He blinked and turned to Naruto as he heard his brother huff. He saw Naruto shake his head in disgust.

"You and your fucking rope," Naruto said, as Naruto strapped his hunting knife to his lower thigh. Sasuke sighed and rolled his eyes.

Sasuke flipped off Naruto quickly before looking up and making the sign of the cross. He tossed one coil over to Naruto, who scoffed before putting over his own head. He turned to one of the elevator's corner lights and quickly leapt up and pushed the hatch up and over, revealing the long elevator shaft.

As the two leapt up into the dark tunnel, they pulled out two small flashlights and began to scour the shaft. Sasuke smiled as his light flashed across a gleam of metal. With a slight grin, Sasuke rapped lightly on the metal grating, catching Naruto's attention. His brother turned quickly and smiled broadly at the target of Sasuke's flashlight.

"See?" Sasuke said slyly. "I told you there'd be a shaft."

Naruto let out a quiet laugh. "Just like on TV."

Sasuke removed the grating as quietly as he could, before sliding silently into the shaft. With an audible "thud," he heard Naruto tumble into the shaft behind him. '_I guess we can't all be quiet like Bond is_,' Sasuke thought grimly.

Putting his flashlight in his mouth, he quickly crawled forward, as silently as he could, while Naruto rumbled along behind him. He took the first right, hoping it would lead him to the room they were searching for.

* * *

Sasuke was drenched in sweat, and his jaw felt like it would fall out of his mouth any moment. He knees ached, his arms felt like they were about to fall off at the elbows, and he was chafing in places he usually wouldn't reveal in public. _Usually_. St. Patrick's Day tended to remove most certainties from his life.

They'd been crawling through the shafts for over fifteen minutes, and they were both getting increasingly hotter and more tired. He could hear Naruto's noisy tumbling behind him growing more strained.

Sasuke stopped cold as he felt a tug on his leg from behind him, and turned to find an annoyed-looking Naruto dragging himself up next to him. Sasuke quickly slid to the side of the shaft as Naruto pulled up next to him. For a few moments, Naruto glared at Sasuke in the tight quarters, before he began hissing quietly to Sasuke.

"Where the fuck are you going?"

Sasuke quickly made a cutting motion across his throat to silence his brother, before whispering back, "We'll find it. Just calm down."

Naruto only seemed to become more pissed off, as he tugged on the coil of rope dragging along the ground under him. "No, fuck you! This rope is bullshit. I'm sweating my ass off dragging this stupid thing around. Must weigh 30 pounds." Sasuke flinched as Naruto quickly pulled to rope off from around him and shoved them against Sasuke's chest.

Now Sasuke was getting pissed off himself. He clenched his teeth as he growled at Naruto in a course whisper, "We're doing some serious shit here. Now, get a hold of yourself, asshole."

"Asshole!?" Naruto growled back, his voice becoming increasingly louder. "I'm not the rope-toting Charlie Bronson wanna-be that's getting us lost!"

"Sh, sh!" Sasuke hissed, covering Naruto's mouth with his hand. "Fuck you!"

"No, fuck you!" Naruto yelled, grabbing Sasuke's shirt collar and shoving against the shaft wall.

Sasuke quickly shoved back, earning an angry glare from Naruto before his brother launched towards him, fists raised and furious. The two began wrestling back and forth inside the shaft, each sending the strongest kicks they could manage in the close quarters toward the other, in hopes of a successful hit.

Sasuke soon found his arms swinging slower, and his vision was being continuously reduced by some black material, and it certainly wasn't his mask. He noticed Naruto slowing down as well, both of them confused. They found themselves wrapped tightly in the ropes that he had bought and Naruto had removed. Naruto blinked with surprise, before turning back to look at Sasuke. As if a switch had been flicked, his expression changed back to one of anger.

_Crack_.

Sasuke's eyes widened, and Naruto's grew frightened, as a large sound filled the shaft. Several bolts rattled out of their places in the shaft lining.

"Uh oh," Sasuke whispered dumbly.

With a crunch, Sasuke felt a sense of freefall and a bright flash of light as the shaft ruptured and crumpled, sending the two of them falling into the room below, debris and dust hanging next to them as they fell.

As his disorientation at freefall slowly dwindled moments after breaking through the ceiling, Sasuke's vision landed on the face of a shocked but familiar looking man. One with light blue hair, sharp teeth, a light purple shirt, with a large sword strapped to his back. His disorientation reappeared, however, as his body jerked to a stop while he was still upside-down. He felt the rope that surrounded him tighten, and he felt his brother's body slam against his, leaving the two of them back-to-back, suspended in the air above the floor.

Sasuke saw the man with sharp teeth reach for the hilt of his blade, and Sasuke immediately reacted with his hands sliding to the shuriken holsters on his legs. With a quick flick of his arms and a flash of metal, the man looked down to find two shuriken embedded in his chest.

Before Sasuke could revel in his victory, however, the unwinding of the rope spun him to his left, leaving him facing yet another Mist Mafioso with his hand reaching for another large blade. With another couple shuriken, the man also jerked in surprise as metal cut into his sternum. And as the rope spun the two, Sasuke spotted two more men reaching for their weapons. '_What is with this Mist people and swords?_' Sasuke thought exasperatedly, as several more shuriken flew from his hands.

Sasuke reached once more for his shuriken holster as the two continued to spin, only to find, to his relief, the remaining Mist Mafiosos dead, each with a curved kunai protruding from their bodies. He looked up toward to the floor to see a large man with a large, bandaged sword lying in the fetal position underneath them. He jabbed Naruto in the side, and his brother reached up and unsheathed the hunting knife he had brought, and with a quick slice, the two of them fell to the floor.

Untangling himself from the ropes, Sasuke hopped off the ground and helped Naruto to his feet. With a quick no toward the large man on the floor, the two of them quickly strode over and pulled the man up and placed him on his knees. With a jab from Naruto, Sasuke turned to find his brother holding up one of his custom kunai, which Sasuke accepted.

They both turned back to the man, and placed the edge of their kunai on opposite sides of the man's neck. As the man begged for mercy, the two began to recite their family prayer.

"And shepherds we shall be. For thee, my Lord, for thee. Power hath descended forth from thy hand that our feet may swiftly carry out thy command. So we shall flow a river forth to thee and teeming with souls shall it ever be. E nomini patri, et Fili e spiritu sancti."

With a quick motion, the kunai sliced through the man's neck, beheading him completely, his eyes still open with fear and shock.

In solemn silence, the two brothers looked at each other, before pulling out their rosaries and two wrappings of new pennies. The two traveled to the bodies of all the dead, closing their eyes and praying for the deceased as they place a penny in each of the eyes of their victims.

As the meet once again in the center, they both kneel and place a penny in the eyes of the large man in the middle of the room, before ending their prayers, and standing up to observe the carnage they had created.

* * *

A/N

Holy shit, it took a hell of a long time to get around to writing this. Really sorry about that to anyone who reads this, but finals + moving home + getting started at a 40 hr/wk job + waking up every morning at 5 AM not much time to write over the last couple weeks. I'll try to keep cracking on the next chapter ASAP, and I hope to put it out in a couple days.

Honestly, the hardest part about writing this chapter was deciding who would hook up with Sai at the start of the chapter. I don't like portraying characters too far out of character, and Sai's the only character that really comes across as clearly gay.

I went with Dan in the end though because I hate him for making Gaara sad. I likes Gaara. He is fun.

Anyway, more of Kiba in the next chapter for those of you who are fans of him, or just fans of Rocco from the movie.

Peace out. I'ma going to bed now.


	7. Kiba's Mission

_Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Boondock Saints belongs to Franchise Pictures._

**Kiba's Mission**

Sai glanced furiously around the room, observing the decaying bodies, the hole in the ceiling, and everything else he could lay his eyes on. His shirt was untucked and his clothes were completely disheveled, his hair was frazzled and unkempt.

Kakashi sighed in exasperation at the man pacing the room. After arguing his conclusion of two shooters and how the large man had died, he'd done nothing but pace the room constantly for the last ten minutes. Kakashi glanced over to Asuma, whose eyes had glazed over is drowsiness and boredom.

After only two incidents, Kakashi was already beginning to notice Sai's more… eccentric habits. His attitude around difficult crime scenes was erratic and messy, if not effective. The effect on Sai's behavior when a sharp discovery or sudden insight appeared was different however. More ecstatic, more rapturous, more… erotic? Kakashi had noticed that Sai seemed to find a certain ecstasy in difficult investigations and the eventual convictions.

Kakashi perked up as he saw Sai's head snap up, the sign he and Asuma had decided was the first symbol of an epiphany. Kakashi nudged Asuma quickly and nodded toward Sai when he received a questioning look from his friend. They already knew that Ebisu was paying attention. He'd spent the entire time glaring at Sai ever since he'd returned from getting coffee.

"Television," Sai whispered with a stunned voice. Kakashi shot a questioning glance at Asuma, who only shook his head in confusion. "Television is the explanation for this."

Sai turned and spotted the confused looks on the detectives' faces. He slapped his head in exasperation, as though everything was just incredibly obvious. He pointed at the hole in the ceiling, as if it held all the answers, and they just couldn't see it.

"You see this is bad television," Sai began, and Kakashi furrowed his brows as he tried to follow the Root agent's train of thought. "The little assault guys creeping in through the vents and coming in through the ceilings. That James Bond shit never happens in real life. Professionals don't do that."

Kakashi nodded silently as the cogs in his head slowly began to turn. Sai was right. This kind of bullshit never happened in real life, and he knew that. Thinking back, he'd never seen a case that looked so much like a movie scene as this one. With a glance toward Asuma, he saw him nodding as well, the same conclusion reached. He glanced at Ebisu too, but he had a look of utter confusion on his face.

Sai continued his rant in full swing. "So we've got this up here, which has novice written all over it. And all this down here that's simply a perfect textbook assassination. So here's our two possibilities. We either have rank amateurs that got lucky or consummate professionals that fucked up."

* * *

Naruto looked around the carnage covering the room. Somehow, someway, he and Sasuke had managed to wipe out eight men in a matter of seconds, and finished off their boss soon after. Not just regular men either, but accomplished, armed, and _incredibly dangerous_ men that had built an empire of crime amongst themselves.

He looked over at Sasuke, who was examining the scene himself, before he looked up at Naruto. The two looked at each other for a few moments, before the both of them broke out laughing. They laughed for awhile, clutching their sides.

As the laughing dwindled, Sasuke straightened up and tugged slightly on the line of rope still caught in the ceiling, before smirking and looking back at Naruto.

"That was some good fucking rope," he said with a grin, and the two of them burst out laughing again.

As the laughing died down once again, Naruto took another look around the room, at the men lying sprawled on the floor.

"That was way easier than I thought," Naruto said, shaking his head in mild disbelief at their actions.

"Yeah," Sasuke responded, mild surprise in his own voice.

Naruto smiled and shook his head. He remembered that mob movie he'd seen on TV a few weeks ago. He'd thought it would go something like that. "On TV you always get that asshole that jumps behind the couch."

Sasuke smirked, remembering the movie as well. "Yeah, and you gotta shoot at him for ten minutes."

Naruto laughed a bit, and smiled a bit more broadly, before turning to Sasuke and grinning. "Oh, we're good man."

"Yes, we are," Sasuke said, nodding in agreement. Naruto raised an eyebrow in question as Sasuke's eyes focused on something behind Naruto. Sasuke smirked and grabbed Naruto's head and turned it toward a bar with several bags on it. "And what do you suppose is in that briefcase?"

Naruto's mind flashed back to the movie he'd seen, where the mob leader had made deals with other gangs, or drug dealers, or other such things. In the movies, he always handed the money off to the other man… in a large black briefcase. Like the one sitting on the edge of the bar closest to the brothers.

Naruto shot a quick glance at Sasuke, who was smirking wickedly. Naruto flashed a quick grin in challenge and turned quickly to sprint to the bar, only to feel Sasuke grab his arm and toss him to the side and gain the lead. Naruto caught himself and ran to catch up with Sasuke, a large smile of excitement spreading across his face, as Sasuke reached the bar and flipped open the case.

Naruto's eyes opened in shock. He'd never seen so much money at once. Well, the two guys that invaded their apartment had had a lot of money on them, but this was so much more! He'd had dreams of having this much money his whole life, but never expected to gain it. He picked up a couple wads before turning to Sasuke.

"I love our new job."

Sasuke chuckled for a moment, when a loud knocking filled the room. Immediately, Naruto dropped the money as he and his brother quickly reached for their weapons and turned toward the noise. Their eyes landed on the door leading to the hallway. Sasuke motioned toward the door silently and threw on his mask, and Naruto followed suit.

They approached the door quietly, hands resting close to their holsters, ready to draw their weapons at the slightest hint of danger. As they neared the door, Sasuke quickly took flank on the right side of the door as Naruto took the left. Nodding to Sasuke, Naruto leaned in toward the eyehole and glanced through.

Naruto nearly burst out laughing right there. Through the eyehole stood Kiba. In a bellboy outfit. With a food cart in front of him. With his mane of hair tied back messily in a ponytail. And a cheap little name tag reading, "Hi, my name is JAFFAR."

Naruto snorted quietly as he stood back from the door, earning him a look of confusion from Sasuke. Naruto quickly reached forward and grabbed Sasuke by the back of the head and pulled it forward toward the door. Sasuke squinted curiously as he looked through the keyhole before chuckling quietly as well.

As Sasuke looked up from the door, the cogs in Naruto's head began to turn, and he grinned wickedly to Sasuke. He motioned toward the door with a mischievous smile on his face. "We've got to fuck with him!"

Sasuke blinked in confusion before smirking in understanding and anticipation. He and Naruto quickly took flank once again on either side of the door. Naruto held up his hand while the other reached for a kunai, and he signaled a countdown from three.

As his hand clenched into a zero, Sasuke reached forward quickly and pulled the door open wide, as Naruto's hand shot through the opening and grabbed a shocked and terrified Kiba by the collar and hauled him off his feet and through the door, food tray and dishes clattering to the floor in front of him. Sasuke quickly slammed the door as Kiba passed through the entryway, and grabbed the back of Kiba's coat, helping Naruto drag him across the floor and he sputtered and yelped in panic.

The two brothers threw the thrashing Kiba to the floor in the center of the room, next to the large man, and pinned him to the ground, holding blades up to their friends' neck. The wild young man's eyes bugged out, and he began trying to reason with Naruto and Sasuke, much to the hidden amusement of the two.

"Oh, God! Don't kill me! We're on the same side! The boss musta sent you in as back up, huh? Oh, shit, please! I'm Kiba! I'm the funny man!" Sasuke glared at Naruto as his brother stifled a laugh, and poorly at that, but Kiba was on the verge of tears as he tried to save himself, and didn't notice at all. "They call me the funny fuckin' man!"

As Naruto continued to hide his laughter, Sasuke quickly turned Kiba's attention to himself by grabbing Kiba's collar and pulling him up. Sasuke dropped his voice as he held one of Naruto's kunai up to his throat, disguising it from Kiba. "Where's your weapons?"

"Chest pocket. Shit!" Kiba sputtered and hyperventilated as he quickly patted his vest.

Sasuke released Kiba's shirt, letting him fall to the floor. Naruto had gotten over his fits of laughter, and quickly pushed Kiba back to the floor as he tried to get up. Naruto quickly reached under Kiba's vest and pulled out a small six shuriken case out of the coat pocket.

'_SIX?_'Naruto thought. '_I took out that almost that many by myself! What the fuck!_'

Naruto stood up and began pacing around exasperatingly, before turning and dropping down again, and holding the shuriken pack up against Kiba's face. He dropped his voice as well, hoping Kiba wouldn't recognize him either. "This is a six-pack of shurikens. _Nine bodies,_ genius! What the fuck were you gonna do? Laugh the last three to death, funny man?"

Kiba held up his hands defensibly as he tried to explain himself, still scared out of his mind. "Orochimaru said there was only two! In and out!" Naruto quickly shot a worried look toward Sasuke, who eyes had become cold and calculating at the knowledge Kiba had given them. As the two thought about what Kiba had said, their holds on his shirt loosened, giving him the freedom to lean forward onto his elbows and take a better look around the room. He began talking nervously, in an attempt to earn the pity of the two pinning him down. "Boy, you guys sure did a good job. You're good, huh? Cool masks. Where'd you get them?"

Naruto and Sasuke's attentions quickly turned back to the disheveled man before them, and their thoughts of tricking their friend returned. Naruto quickly leaned forward and shoved Kiba against the floor _hard_. He quickly held up a kunai to Kiba's throat and recreated the menacing voice he had use earlier. It might have been a little off from what it was, but from the look of fear in Kiba's eyes, he certainly wouldn't notice. "We gotta do him, right here."

"Right now." Sasuke agreed menacingly as he held up a kunai to the other side of Kiba's throat and nodded.

Kiba eyes pooped open at the sound of the two men's threat and began screaming again in earnest as the steel pressed up against his throat. "Don't kill me! Oh shit, please no! I'm Kiba! I'm the funny man!... the funny man... the funny man!"

Naruto had to use all his self-control to keep himself from falling to floor in laughter at the look on his friend's face. He nodded to Sasuke and pulled back his kunai as if in preparation to strike. "Right?"

Sasuke nodded back, and lifted his kunai as well. "Right!" The two of them thrust their kunai forward in a short motion, and Kiba quickly covered his face and screamed and whimpered in panic and fear.

Naruto couldn't contain himself anymore, as he burst out laughing. Sasuke withheld his own laughter for a moment longer than Naruto, but after hearing Naruto lose his control, Sasuke couldn't hold back his own either, and broke down laughing as well. Naruto quickly pulled off his mask and revealed himself to a flabbergasted Kiba, who lay stunned on the ground at the two brothers laughing at him.

Kiba gaped in shock as the two stood up and leaned against the bar, still laughing as Kiba lay there stunned. The two were still chuckling as Kiba stood up and took a look around the room, and began pacing frantically.

"What did you do?!" he suddenly yelled, waving his hands in frustration. "Fucking... what the fucking fuck! Who the fuck, fucked this fucking…? Fuck, how did you two fucking fucks... FUCK!!"

Sasuke snorted, before turning to Kiba, "Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word." Naruto burst out laughing again and Sasuke chuckled along with him. Kiba quickly turned on the two of them, anger flaring up in his eyes at the two that had just played him.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he yelled at the two of them, causing them to back up a little, despite the fact they were still chuckling between themselves. Naruto almost began laughing again at the look on his face. "What, huh!? WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? ANSWERS! I WANT FUCKIN' ANSWERS!"

Sasuke, however, was apparently tired of the yelling, and quickly stepped forward and slapped Kiba quickly across the face. "Get a hold of yourself, man!"

Naruto was taken aback by Sasuke's directness, and Kiba was obviously surprised as well. There was an awkward silence in the room, as Sasuke glared at Kiba, before he smirked slightly, causing Kiba to huff in anger.

Naruto smirked at Sasuke's act and walked up to Kiba. "Yeah, get a hold of yourself," he said jokingly, slapping Kiba softly across the face in jest. Kiba's eye's bugged out in anger as he jumped forward and began cursing and punching at Naruto, who danced backward, laughing. He giggled lightly as he deflected the punches thrown at him, mocking Kiba by reaching forward and slapping him lightly every time an opening appeared. Sasuke quickly stepped forward and pulled the two apart, allowing Kiba to calm down and Naruto to stop joking around.

As Naruto and Kiba calmed down, Sasuke released the two of them, holding up a finger and waving in warning at them before smirking. "Listen, we gotta get outta here now. We'll take separate exits and meet at Kiba's."

Naruto grinned widely and quickly ran over to the bar, closing the briefcase full of money and picking it up. As Sasuke picked up the rope and everything else that could leave evidence toward their involvement, Kiba stood there, watching the two, shaking his head, still unsatisfied with their explanation.

Passing through the room, Naruto grinned as he patted Kiba on the shoulder, then walked through the door, mask and gloves safely hidden and put away.

Naruto grinned even widen when he heard a loud "Fuck!" echo down the hallway as Kiba followed behind them grudgingly.

* * *

"Join me in a drink, gentlemen."

Sai gestured toward the bar on the far side of the room and led the group of detectives over. He had figured out pretty much everything he could from the scene. All that was left was to wait for the forensic evidence to come back. Fingerprints, hair strands, anything that could speed up the discovery of whoever… _butchered_ these men.

Sai had calmed down and cleaned up since his examination of the room. He had combed his hair and tucked his shirt back in, regaining his good composure along with his good appearance. As the four of them sat down around the bar, Sai pulled out a bottle of gin and poured himself a glass, and proceeded to sip it slowly as Kakashi, Asuma, and Ebisu leaned forward over the bar to listen to him.

Sai sighed silently as he swirled the drink in his hands, before leaning once again over the bar and speaking to the detectives. "With the exception of my coffee boy," he started, gesturing to Ebisu, who flushed in anger, "you Boston detectives are starting to show signs of intelligence. So, I am going to make you privy to some information that you would not normally be."

Sai raised an eyebrow as he saw the eyes of the other detectives open a little wider in anticipation. He was having a better effect on these men than he thought he was. Hell, even Ebisu was leaning forward, ready to absorb anything Sai said. Sai smirked slightly at the concept of having these men in the palm of his hands; he could either raise them up as detectives by showing them how to properly solve this case, or crush their hopes and desires as such by failing them.

"These men are all Mist mob," he continued saying, watching their eyes open in shock. He watched as Kakashi's eyebrows furrowed in recognition, and Sai could tell he was comparing the scene to the case from a couple of days ago with the two brothers and the Mist thugs. Sai waved his hand to dispel any connection between the two. "Not like those two peons in the alley the other day. These guys are all Mist bosses and underbosses; call themselves the 'swordsmen' or some such. I have a dossier on every man in this room."

Sai continued speaking, ignoring the looks of shock and surprise from Kakashi and Asuma, and Ebisu's gaping mouth. "Since the recent treaty between Konoha and other hidden villages, the Mist syndicates have started to come here. And in the spirit of their kage, the Mist have opened their borders to the mafia. But the Sound, they're not so very willing to give up their territory to another mob willing to muscle them out of their own ventures. The Mist are coming here anyway. They are unwelcome. What we have here, gentlemen, is possibly the beginning of the first international mob war... unless I've totally missed something."

Sai looked around the bar, realizing how hard the situation had hit the three detectives. The thought of a mob war between two high-standing crime syndicates raging through Konoha was definitely not a concept that sat well with the three detectives. Drive-bys, assassinations, destruction of property, countless deaths… Sai figured these men must care about this city quite a bit, being dedicated to finding out the criminal behind every crime in the game. They'd have their work cut out for them if this kind of shit started up in Konoha.

"Now," Sai said, pulling his attention back to him, "what is this going to look like to those who do not know what I just told you?"

The three detectives blinked in surprise at the change in direction of the conversation. They all began trying to figure out what they would've thought of this situation if Sai hadn't explained things to them. Asuma leaned forward suddenly, catching the attention of the other two, as Sai looked at him expectantly.

"It's gonna look like the bad guys are killing each other."

Sai smiled wryly, before speaking in a hushed tone, "And is there an citizen of Konoha, shit is there a man seated among us that hasn't thought about it many times, 'let's just put them all on an island, give them guns and let them kill each other'? This is our wet dream come true. You can expect federal and local law enforcement to go only deep enough to satisfy the law, then bury it from here on out."

Silence filled the room, as the detectives sat in stunned silence at the words of the Root agent. Sai knew what they were thinking. He'd had the same thoughts himself, too many times to count. Allowing men to run rampant in the streets and just go about killing each other? The concept was no doubt illogical, implausible, and just downright against everything they stood for as police of Konoha. But would they let it go, if they knew that the scum of the earth were wiping themselves out, cleansing Konoha of the stain that was ruining it to its core?

"So, what do we do now?" Kakashi whispered in a low voice, barely above a whisper.

Sai shrugged. "That depends," he said, before downing the rest of his glass and throwing on his coat. "You either do your job or get ethical."

**

* * *

**

This is Kurenai Yuuhi. I'm coming live from the St. Minato Hotel, where we have just been informed that the largest multiple murder in Konoha's history has just taken place. We have learned that there were nine victims, all deeply involved in a notoriously violent Mist crime syndicate, right here in Konoha. The police have yet to reveal any confirmed evidence or possible suspects to the crime. However, they have promised that more information will be released to the public as the facts unfold. Kurenai Yuuhi, signing out.

* * *

Sasuke sat across from Kiba at the table in Kiba's apartment, watching the wild man stare at the floor and rub his temples in exasperation. The hotel busboy outfit he'd put on for the hit was thrown off and on the ground near the front door. Sasuke had known that Kiba had always hated fancy dress.

Kiba looked up suddenly, carefully studying the two brothers, before raising an eyebrow in question. "So let me get this straight. _Anybody_ you think is evil?"

Sasuke nodded curtly and simply said, "Yes."

Kiba groaned and ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation. He looked up and eyed the two suspiciously. "Don't you think that's a little psycho? A little weird?"

"Weird, huh?" Sasuke leaned forward, glaring straight into Kiba's eyes. He lowered his voice, letting it drip with seriousness. "Know what I think is weird? Decent men with loving families go home every day after work. They turn on the news and see rapists, murderers, and child molesters all getting out of prison."

Naruto learned forward, voice low as well, adding into the conversation, "Mafiosos getting caught with 20 kilos and walking on bail the same day."

Sasuke leaned forward as well, holding up a shuriken in example. "Little girls catching stray shuriken in their heads, playing hopscotch in their front yards. And everyone thinks the same thing: someone should just go kill those motherfuckers."

"Kill 'em all," Naruto whispered. Sasuke turned in mild surprise at Naruto's words. Naruto wasn't one to avoid a fight, but he'd always been vocal about his abhorrence of murder. He'd always told Sasuke that every problem in the world could be solved by putting the people in question in a small room and let them beat on each other until on gives up. But killing them? Not so much. The attack from the two Mist thugs must have hit him harder than Sasuke thought.

"Admit it," Naruto said in a more relaxed tone, leaning back in his chair and relaxing a little. "Even you've thought about it."

Kiba watched silently as the two leaned back in their seats and began cleaning and sorting their weapons. Sasuke watched with a grin as Kiba rocked back and forth in the chair. He ran his fingers through his hair again, and began rubbing his temples again in confusion and agitation. After a minute or so, he leaned forward once again and pointed at both of them before speaking.

"You guys should be in every major city."

Sasuke and Naruto looked at each other a moment before chuckling between the two of them. But Kiba wasn't stopping. He stood up suddenly, letting his chair fall to the floor, and began pacing around the room, swinging his arms wildly as he ranted.

"This is some heavy shit. This is like Lone Ranger-heavy man. Fuck it! There's so much shit that pisses me off." He stopped, suddenly, looking up as if he'd had an epiphany. He grabbed his chair and pushed it back up to the table backwards, sitting on it and leaning against the back. He pointed at the brothers. "You guys should recruit, 'cause I am sick and fucking tired of walking down the street waiting for one of these assholes to get me, y'know?"

Naruto smirked and chuckled a bit. "Hallelujah, Jaffar."

Kiba glared at Naruto quickly before waving his hand and waving off the comment. He raised a questioning eyebrow. "So you're not just talking mob guys. You're talking' anyone, right? Even like pimps and drug dealers and all that shit?"

Sasuke smiled slightly and nodded. Naruto did the same.

"Well fuck," Kiba scoffed, shaking his head. "You guys could do this every day."

Naruto leaned forward again, spinning a kunai on his finger. "We're like 7-Eleven," he said with a smirk. "We aren't always doing business, but we're always open."

"Nicely put," Sasuke said, laughing, and the other two joined in.

* * *

Sasuke slammed the can of beer on the table, causing it to splash into his lap. He looked down in surprise and his now wet lap. He could have sworn he had finished the can.

Naruto was currently jabbering on about how he'd killed four of the Mist Mafiosos upside down, and was half-rolling across his end of the table as an example. He'd been jabbering on like that that for a good while now. No one was listening, of course, but that seem to dissuade Naruto from continuing talking.

Kiba was still sitting on the other side of the table, now covered with beer cans and several boxes of pizza. He was currently wearing one of the black masks Sasuke and Naruto had bought and was currently using all the dexterity he had available in his drunkenness to try and eat a slice of pizza through the mouth hole. He heard Naruto bark with laughter at the sight, and put his forehead on his arms on the table. Sasuke smirked and leaned sideways to push Naruto off his seat, only to find that Naruto was farther away than he thought, causing Sasuke to lean too far and fall to the floor, which only made Naruto laugh louder.

Sasuke managed to climb back up into his seat after getting a decent grip on the table and chair, but when he reached for his beer, he found it gone. He looked around the table, thinking Naruto or Kiba had taken it, but he spotted it lying spilled on the floor.

'How'd that happen?' he thought, furrowing his brows in frustration. 'I didn't do that, did I? No. No. Naruto or Kiba did. That's it, for sure.'

"You, you… you bastards," he said, pointing a finger somewhere between Naruto and Kiba. "Which one of you spill my beer?"

Kiba and Naruto both laughed as pointed his accusatory finger off into nowhere. Kiba picked up an empty can and placed it slowly in front of Sasuke's seat. Sasuke looked questioningly at Kiba, who pointed at the can, before he leaned forward to look closely at the can.

"You spilled it yourself, you dumb fuck," Kiba yelled, quickly smacking the can into Sasuke's face, making him fall back onto the floor.

Sasuke could hear Kiba and Naruto laughing as he quickly pulled himself over the table and began picking up cans to pelt Kiba with, resulting in a short beer can war between the three of them, which Naruto somehow managed to win, despite his habit of breaking into frantic laughter every time he managed to hit someone.

After the trio had managed to calm down, the brothers sat down and spent some time playing finger football with some spare paper made from the pizza receipt. Kiba however, spent a good ten minutes staring at the floor, before he began muttering to the two across from him. Naruto and Sasuke looked up in surprise at their friend's previously unheard-of depressed depression. Kiba was usually continuously lively, not like he was now.

"You fucking guys," he said with a hoarse voice. "You ruined me. I'm fucking done. Permanent package boy."

"Who says that?" Naruto said, cheerily. Kiba's head lifted, as he stared at Naruto as if he was mad. Naruto smirked and raised an eyebrow. "You could take credit on it."

Sasuke shrugged and nodded silently as Kiba's eyes popped open. His eyes flashed back and forth between the two brothers, looking for some sign of trickery or jest. "What are you serious?"

"Yeah, fuck it," Naruto said, shrugging. "If you think about it, it's all you can do really. You can't tell him it was us. Go in bragging and shit."

"Climb the corporate ladder, boy," Sasuke joined in, and raised his glass. "Don Kiba!"

Kiba sat thinking for a second, tapping his foot on the ground, before slamming his fists on the table. "Fuck it! I'm doing it. I deserve it. I've been working for those fat bastards since I was in high school and look at this place!"

He gestured around the apartment, currently a dump. His apartment was a messy one that hung over the back of a dirty alley in the worse part of Konoha. His neighbors sucked something awful, always making noise at all hours of the night. His apartment would've been a little better, though, if Kiba's "_girlfriend,_" if you could call the bitch that, didn't always mess up the place in a doped-up rage. Not to mention that damn snobby _cat_ of hers. Naruto and Sasuke both nodded reluctantly in agreement.

"They're fucking me man!" Kiba yelled, slapping several empty cans off the table and across the floor. "Hey, they can suck my pathetic little dick! And I'll dip my nuts in marinara just so the fat fucks can get a taste of home while they're at it."

Sasuke and Naruto laughed drunkenly as Kiba raved and ranted, slamming his fists on the table occasionally to emphasize words. Naruto frowned as the cat jumped up onto the table, no doubt to investigate the commotion. "That's it," Kiba yelled, continuing, "it's done, I'm doing it!"

BLAM! SPLAT!

With one last slam, Kiba's fist landed on a spare exploding tag that Kiba had left on the table, causing the tag to detonate on impact. The tag was rather old, however, and faulty in its age. With a bang, the side opposing Kiba's end blasted a burst of flame toward the wall. Unfortunately, there happened to be a small, furry object in the way of the blast.

At the commotion, the trio of men jumped from the table in surprise and bolted toward the door. Kiba was screaming that he'd been hit, while Sasuke was checking to see if he was on fire, and Naruto was desperately looking for a fire extinguisher.

As the three calmed down, they looked back towards the kitchen. The table had a large black mark across it from Kiba's seat, and there was a nasty, cat-shaped splatter against the wall. The three of them stood in silence for a moment, before Kiba reluctantly spoke up.

"Is it dead?" The sound of two smacks to the head echoed through the apartment.

* * *

A/N

Sorry, this one really took awhile. Quite a bit longer than my other chapters so far, though.

I'm thinking of doing another movie parody after the Boondocks one. I was thinking about doing 300 or something like that, but I'm not sure who I'd use as the main characters in the story. I'm open for suggestions though… (hint, hint)

R&R plz…. Also, tell me any suggestions for any other movie spinoffs you'd like me to write, or any spelling/grammar mistakes I've made.


	8. Kiba's Revenge

_Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Boondock Saints belongs to Franchise Pictures._

**Kiba's Revenge**

_Thump__. __Thump__. **Thump.**__** Thump**__. __**THUMP**__._

Kiba held his hands up to his temples as the rhythmic throbbing in his head continued. It felt like a dozen jackhammers where striking dozens of explosives, which detonated in time a dozen bass drums. He winced in pain as a car screeched by outside his apartment; the sound felt like nails on a chalkboard. He cracked his eyes open, then immediately closed them as a crack of sunlight flew into them.

'_God, I hate hangovers…_' he thought, miserably. '_I swear to God, I'm never drinking again…_' He knew he'd thought it before, but damn it, this time he meant it.

He cocked his head slightly to get out of the sunlight and opened his eye again warily. His stomach turned in a moment of panic as he discovered himself suspended from the ceiling, and he flailed his arms wildly in an attempt to grab something before falling. However, as his mind slowly pieced itself back together, the memories of the former night slowly came back to him and he calmed down. He felt underneath himself and found that he was lying upside down on a beanbag in the kitchen, while his feet hung limply strewn across the counter.

In what he considered an incredibly effort on his part, he struggled to turn himself over and lift himself to his feet. However, this proved to be more difficult than he had thought when his vision suddenly swam as he stood upright. His hand quickly shot toward the counter for something to steady himself, but he soon found himself falling to the floor. As he lay once again on the bean bag, this time his head uncomfortably angled against the kitchen counter, he renewed his vow of alcoholic refusal. In yet another effort, which seemed much harder than the first, Kiba attempted to raise himself to his feet, much _slower_ this time though.

As he tried to find his balance on his feet, he occupied himself by attempting to locate the whereabouts of his two friends. It wasn't that hard to locate the two brothers passed out, Sasuke on the couch, and Naruto on the floor. His apartment was shockingly small for the price Kiba paid to live in it (as far as Kiba was concerned), and he often found it disparaging that for someone who'd worked for the Sound Mob for… _years_, he still only pulled in enough money to afford a shithole that you could see the entirety of from the kitchen.

His eyes landed momentarily on an awkwardly hung painting on the kitchen wall, making Kiba blink in confusion. He'd had that hung in the living room didn't he? As he puzzled over the strange movement of the painting, he noticed a red-colored splatter outline behind the painting, and he groaned as memories of the previous night's accident flooded back.

'_Oh well_,' he thought. '_I fucking hate cats anyway. More of a dog person_.'

As he found his balance returning, he wobbled his way over to the kitchen sink, where a discord of unwashed dishes lay scattered across the counter. Turning on the cold water, he allowed a few seconds for the gunk in the pipes to pass into the sink before sticking his hand under the faucet. He splashed some cold water on his face to sober himself a little, before reaching over and turning off the water.

Kiba's eyes turned toward the living room as he heard a sound, and spotted Sasuke slowly waking up. As his friend went through the same wake-up process as Kiba had, Kiba walked over to the coat rack and threw on his overcoat. As he pulled on his coat, he looked over to Sasuke, who was currently testing his eyes by trying to focus on Kiba. Kiba grinned in wry amusement and pulled a box of pocky out of his pocket and shook it for Sasuke to see. Kiba motioned toward the door, and Sasuke nodded shakily at his offer, attempting to rise to his feet as Kiba walked through the door.

Kiba walked out into the alleyway next his apartment and immediately shivered at the cold of the morning. He quickly pulled out a stick of pocky and put it into his mouth before leaning against the wall at the end of the alley and sighing. His mind began pouring over the events last night.

**

* * *

**

THE PREVIOUS NIGHT...

Kiba sat nervously in the office. He was currently in Orochimaru's private villa, located on the far outskirts of Konoha. To say he was intimidated would be an understatement.

The room he sat in was pretty much the main headquarters of all the Sound Mafia's activities, legal and illegal. It was much more posh and upstanding than the office the Don had at the Sound warehouse. Regal purple carpeting and drapes coated the walls, and several finely crafted objects coated the room, many of which bore the Sound Mafia's symbol: the eighth note. A very large fireplace was built into one of the walls, and above it sat a very large glass case, containing a very, _very_ large snake.

To say Kiba was intimidated would be an _enormous_ understatement.

He felt out of place here. He was a delivery boy, sitting in the office of Don Orochimaru, most powerful man in the Sound crime syndicate. He was wearing a dirty, stained t-shirt under a large, slightly damp overcoat, as well as a pair of worn out pants. This place was not a place Kiba was used to, and merely being here was uncomfortable.

But for some strange reason, Orochimaru had called him to his villa, _personally_. He'd told Kiba that he had a job for Kiba to do for him, and that it was for Kiba _only_. So here he was, a scruffy mutt in the lair of the snake lord. He was terrified.

Kiba jumped slightly as he heard the knob to one of the side doors rattle quietly. He turned his head to see Orochimaru enter the room and close the door behind him silently. Orochimaru had changed out of the work clothes he'd had on earlier at the warehouse, and was currently wearing a very slick black suit. His long black hair had been carefully combed and he was wearing a gleaming sound headband on his forehead. This just made Kiba more uncomfortable, since he was now was probably the filthiest, most unkempt thing in the whole room. As Orochimaru made his way to his desk, Kiba quietly tried to straighten his coat and clothes, and sat a bit straighter than he normally would.

Orochimaru sat down in his large chair in a precise, regal manner. He leaned forward carefully, folding his hands together in front of him and staring at Kiba. Kiba shifted nervously in his seat as Orochimaru sized him up. He felt as though his boss' eyes were boring straight into his head and reading his every thought and emotion. Kiba began to sweat a little, but blinked in surprise and Orochimaru suddenly leaned back and smiled. It was a very… _sinister_ looking smile, but in Kiba's opinion, it was better than nothing.

"You'll have to forgive me," Orochimaru began, in a voice that shocked Kiba with its kindness (at least, it sounded like kindness). "I'm afraid I've just come from a meeting with one of my men from Suna, so I'm dressed a bit more formally than seems appropriate for this conversation."

"No!" Kiba yelled, causing Orochimaru to raise an eyebrow. Kiba smacked his forehead mentally for the outburst before speaking again, more calmly. "I-I mean, no. It's my fault. I-I should've worn something more appropriate for this meeting. I-I-I'm sorry."

Orochimaru smirked lightly. "Now Kiba, as I recall, I told Sakon to bring you directly here from wherever you where, so I very much doubt that you could've had time to change out of your street clothes, correct?"

"Ah, um…" Kiba sputtered. "No… I mean, yes, you're right boss. Sorry. You're right, sorry."

"Stop apologizing Kiba. If anyone's to blame for such a short notice call, it's me." Kiba, stammered again and began to try and pull blame away from Orochimaru, before getting on his bad side. And he definitely didn't want to get on Orochimaru's bad side. He'd heard stories. _Bad_ stories. But before Kiba could say anything, Orochimaru continued on.

"Now, Kiba," he said, standing carefully and walking slowly over to the fireplace. "I'm sure you're wondering why I've called you here so suddenly. I don't think you've ever been here before, correct?"

"Ah, um, well, y-yes, Orochimaru. Sir," Kiba sputtered.

"Well, you see, Kiba," Orochimaru began, stepping up to the glass case and observing the snake, "our organization has a bit of a problem…"

As Orochimaru paused, Kiba took his cue to speak. "Wh-what kind of problem, sir?"

"Well, Kiba, it seems as though another… business group from the Village Hidden in the Mist has begun operating in the city of Konoha. I'm sure you've heard of them. I think there was a report yesterday about a couple that were killed in a local issue or something like that…

"Well, to make a long story short, I've had some men looking into their group, you see, trying to find any weak points or possible assassination opportunities. Anyway, Kiba, it seems that there are some high ranking officials of the group having a meeting in Konoha tonight. Big shots, you know?"

Orochimaru glanced away from Kiba for a moment, and Kiba nodded in understanding, though the confused look on his face was obvious. Orochimaru sighed visibly, and walked back to his desk and sat down. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on the desk, staring intently at Kiba. "I'm going to cut to the point, Kiba. I want you to go downtown and kill these big shots, got it?"

Kiba's mouth gaped open for a moment, before his mind registered what was said. "Wh-wh-what? You want me to _kill_ them?"

"Yes."

"Wh… B-but, just me?"

"I guess I wasn't clear on the matter. There's only two of them. Simple enough, yes? It could be done with just a six pack of shuriken." Orochimaru paused momentarily, and raised an eyebrow. "You… _can _aim a shuriken, right?"

"Ah, well, y-yeah, but…"

"Then there should be no problem."

"Y-yeah, but…"

"Kiba," Orochimaru said loudly, and Kiba shut up. "I'm going to be… blunt with you. Are you listening?" Kiba nodded quickly. "Good. Now Kiba, you are part of a squad working in west Konoha with Zaku and Dosu, I believe. Now, to put it simply, the three of you have done, well, hardly anything at all for the Sound family. I don't like that. Not at all."

Kiba gulped audibly, but Orochimaru continued unfazed.

"Now, I've heard Kabuto talking about you. A lot of shit, as it was." Kiba frowned in anger. "But I thought to myself, 'This group, they cannot be as worthless as Kabuto says. They merely have not been given the proper opportunity to 

succeed.' So I think, what can this boy do to prove themselves? And that's when I heard of the Mist boss coming to Konoha, and I realized, this is the perfect opportunity! Kiba, this is your chance for success in the Sound family.

"But I must also warn you, if you fail, it will lead you and everyone near you to danger and disaster. Not just from me, but from the entirety of the Mist Mafia. But I assure you, the payment for success will be great. If you do this for me, then you will have money and power like you would not imagine! Not just you either, but for your friends, Zaku and Dosu, as well. And all you have to do? Kill. Those. Men."

Kiba sat dumbstruck in his chair. It was as if the heavens had finally realized he existed, and he had been blessed incredibly for all their years of accidental neglect. He admitted to himself that he was terrified about the prospect of trying to knock off two powerful men in another Mafia. But the rewards? Worth it.

"Alright," Kiba said quietly, looking up at Orochimaru. "I'll do it."

Orochimaru smiled slyly, showing his teeth in a wicked smirk. "Very good, Kiba."

**

* * *

**

BACK IN THE PRESENT…

Kiba groaned as he leaned against the wall, the stick of pocky slowly disappearing. Inside his head, a battle between his logic and his loyalty raged.

_He set you up._

**Bullshit! He was wrong! He made a mistake! Everyone does it, even the boss! You don't know shit!**

_Not this. He lied. He told you himself he'd been watching those guys. How would he not know about a meeting between almost a dozen of them?_

**Maybe it was arranged that night! Thing work that way in the mafia, right? Maybe it was organized after he talked to me.**

_Then it would have been called off, right? Again, guys watching them. More guys start showing up, you call it off right? One guy against nine? That's nuts. He expected you to die._

**I know my limits. I would've walked away and waited for my next chance. **

_Would you have? This was your one shot, and you knew the risks of failure. _

**He would've have done anything if I'd walked. **

_He said it. 'Not just from me.' He would've punished you._

**Slap on the wrist, disappointment, nothing more. I'd wait and try again at a safer time.**

_Slap on the wrist? From Orochimaru?_

**…**

_Now who's wrong?_

**Just shut up…**

Kiba hung his head tiredly as the thoughts flickered through his head. He looked up weakly as Sasuke walked out of the apartment and nodded to him. Kiba nodded back solemnly as Sasuke approached, and offered him a stick of pocky. 

Sasuke smirked slightly as he reached for a stick and placed it in his mouth. The two of them looked across the street for a moment, before Sasuke chuckled quietly.

"Kin's gonna be angry about her cat."

Kiba chuckled slightly. Kin was a girl he'd met through his partners, Zaku and Dosu. She was a pretty, outspoken girl with long, dark-brown hair with a thing for bells. And drugs. She really had a thing for drugs. She'd been a pretty cool girlfriend when she and Kiba'd started dating. But now she spent most of her days passed out on Kiba's couch, yelling at Kiba, or just… not there. She'd vanish for weeks on end, doing who knows what for any drug she could, then appear again as if nothing happened.

"Shit," Kiba said quietly as Sasuke leaned against the wall on the other side of the alley. "She's on every drug known to man. She'd have sold that thing for a dime bag. Screw her."

Sasuke raised a questioning eyebrow and Kiba scratched the back of his head. "But I do kinda feel like an ass-hole."

"You sound real remorseful," Sasuke chuckled.

"She ain't been around in weeks anyhow."

A moment of silence passed between the two of them, before Sasuke spoke again in a quiet and serious voice, "Listen. Something's been bothering me about last night."

"What?" Kiba asked, not looking at Sasuke.

"Well…" Sasuke paused. Kiba glanced at him in confusion, and saw Sasuke shaking his head, like he was trying to think of what to say. "What if… your boss knew how many guys were supposed to be there... in that room?" Kiba froze. It was like what he was thinking earlier. His logical side slunk into his thoughts again.

_See? What'd I tell you? Even Sasuke can see it._

**Shut up**.

"What are you saying?" Kiba asked quietly, hoping he'd misheard.

"Think about it man," Sasuke said, turning to face Kiba. "Nine men, six shuriken."

Kiba gaped. It was like the conversation was repeating itself. His loyalty to the Sound Mafia surged forward in his mind in an instinctual desire to conflict with Sasuke. "You think they sold me out? No way."

Sasuke kept speaking though, not slowing to hear Kiba's argument. "He probably knew you'd end up nailing the fat guy, maybe one or two more, but he had to know you weren't walking out of there. Figure it out. Killer's dead on the scene. No in-depth investigation. It'd slide right off his back. 'Cause as much as I love ya, man, you're not exactly fuckin' Chuck Norris here. What would he be losing? A random delivery boy?"

"No, no." Kiba shook his head in despair. He refused to believe it, even with Sasuke telling him these things. He _had_ to have some value to the Sound. "That's just not the way things are done." He paused, thinking about what he'd thought earlier. "Besides, how's he know I don't just get in there see there's too many and just serve 'em their fucking food and beat it?

"He knows you, man," Sasuke said, sounding a bit desperate. "He knows all you want is to move up. That's all. A smooth hitter would have gone in there, seen it was a bad deal and slipped out. But a guy like you? Knowing this is your only chance?"

"No. No man," Kiba sputtered. How could this be happening? Sasuke was pointing out everything. Every doubt, every flaw, every guess that Kiba'd had, and the reasoning behind Orochimaru's decision.

**It can't be…**

_You know it's true. _

"That's... that's... you don't know what you're talking about. That's bullshit. I know these guys. I mean, thanks for your concern, but that just ain't the way it is."

Sasuke studied Kiba for a moment, before raising a finger in warning. "Do me a favor and just… roll it around in your head for a bit on your way in."

"No, look," Kiba said exasperatedly, shaking his head. "No rolling. Nothing needs to be rolled."

Kiba turned toward the road at the end of the alley and began walking. He'd talk to Zaku and Dosu. They'd know what was up. He stopped short for a moment as a loud clatter erupted from the other end of the alley. He turned to spot Naruto stumbling towards them, incredibly hung over and several trash cans littering the alley behind him.

Naruto reached the Sasuke and Kiba and looked up at Kiba. "Where are you going?" Kiba glared slightly, and Naruto turned to Sasuke. "Did you tell him?"

"Yes," Sasuke said quietly, and Kiba gritted his teeth. They'd both talked about this.

"Then what the fuck?" Naruto roared suddenly, turning on Kiba with a angry look in his eyes.

"Hey! You don't know that shit for sure!" Kiba yelled back. Did everyone think he was an idiot, thinking he didn't know anything about the people he'd worked for years?

"You're such a fucking retard!"

"Fuck you!"

"Use your brain for once. Is it so unbelievable they don't care about you? You're fucking dead if you go in there today. Dead!"

"Oh yeah. You two fucking pricks know what's going on, huh? Fuck you!"

Sasuke quickly stepped forward and raised his hands in an attempt to calm Kiba down. "Hey, this ain't a thing you should gamble on, Roc."

Kiba snorted in anger and turned away from the two of them, ignoring Sasuke's comment as he walked away.

"Fuck it!" Naruto yelled at Kiba's back. "What kind of flowers you want at your funeral? You dumb bastard. This is the last time I'll see you, you stupid son of a bitch."

Kiba huffed indignantly and yelled back. "I'll be back at 9:00." He turned in an afterthought. "Bury the fucking cat!"

"Hey!" Sasuke yelled as Kiba kept walking. "If you get in there and start getting a bad vibe, get the fuck out quick!"

Kiba kept walking in anger. He'd go see Zaku and Dosu at the Akimichi Deli. They were always there. He'd get answers out of them. He knew they'd never do this to him.

_We'll see…_

* * *

Naruto tapped his foot nervously on the ground and stared at the phone. It was getting later in the day, and Kiba should have been at that deli place he always talked about by now. Naruto put his hands on his forehead and shook his head in frustration at himself.

'Shit! Why the hell did I say he'd die? I jinxed him for sure…'

Naruto sighed, anxious to find out what had happened to Kiba. It had been short of an hour He and Sasuke had actually done what Kiba had asked and buried Kin's cat (or what was left of it) in a small lot of grass across the street from Kiba's apartment, much to Naruto's reluctance at the time. The wall was still a bloody mess, but the two brothers had agreed with Kiba over the matter, and decided that even if she ever showed up, she'd probably be too drugged up to notice the splatter on the wall, much less her missing cat.

Over the last hour, Naruto had also managed to develop a sense of regret over his attitude toward Kiba, and was now wallowing in self-loathing over what he'd said. Sasuke had told him to just be patient and trust that Kiba wasn't as stupid as he normally let on, and that the best idea was to relax and wait for Kiba to contact them. But Naruto just thought Sasuke was full of shit, and continued to worry.

He rested his head on the table and looked up at Sasuke. His brother was sitting next to him, gazing boredly at the TV. Anyone else would've thought that Sasuke didn't care what was going on, but Naruto knew better. His brother was just as worked up about Kiba as Naruto was, he was just better at not showing it.

Naruto jumped slightly as the phone suddenly rang, and his hand shot forward to grab the receiver before Sasuke could get to it.

"Hello?"

"Hey Naruto."

"Kiba!" Naruto said excitedly, catching Sasuke's full attention. "You okay?"

"Yeah…" Kiba said. Naruto thought he sounded hesitant. "Anybody call for me?"

"No… You sure you're okay?"

"I'm fuckin' fine," Kiba answered, a note of anger in his voice. Naruto listened nervously as Kiba paused, before Kiba spoke again. "Catch you on the flip side."

Naruto blinked in confusion as Kiba immediately hung up. 'Flip side…? What the fuck?' He glanced over at Sasuke, who eyed him questioningly. Naruto just shrugged. He didn't know what was going on either.

The two of them turned suddenly as a loud rattling filled the small apartment. Their hands instinctively reached for their weapons as the front door flew open, but they stopped as two stumbling women entered the room, giggling among themselves.

The one on the left was Kin, and she seemed to be supporting the other girl, who the two brothers recognized as Kin's friend (or drug-buddy, as Naruto called her) Karin. She was a shorter, thicker woman with long, messy red hair, and was as fond of any sort of drug that Kin was, not to mention she was well known as being incredibly willing to do… _anything_ to get some.

The two of them were wobbling on their feet, and were obviously drugged up beyond imagination. Kin raised her head, looking around the apartment with unfocused eyes, not even noticing Naruto and Sasuke. She somehow managed to slur some words out of her mouth, much to the surprise of Naruto.

"Here kitty, kitty… kitty."

Naruto visibly flinched and turned to Sasuke, who gulped nervously, as the two girls walked slowly to the living room, and proceeded to pass out on the couch.

* * *

Sasuke sat silently at the table, staring intently at the briefcase he and Naruto had found at the hotel. The possibilities of the wealth inside were endless. But last night was kind of messy once they'd gotten back to Kiba's apartment. Had they really found such a large amount of money? Had they actually taken it? Or was it just a drunken illusion, this briefcase sitting on the table Kiba's, and the resemblance was just a coincidence?

He shot a quick glance into the living room to make sure that Kin and Karin were still passed out. They were. Kin was drooling a little, and Karin was snoring loudly. '_No worries there_,' Sasuke thought in mild amusement.

He glanced over to Naruto, who was dozing off in front of the phone. He'd been staring at it intently since Kiba's phone call over half an hour ago, and had recently fallen asleep, his face still only a couple inches from the phone.

With another quick glance at the two girls, Sasuke silently flipped open the briefcase, and gasped slightly. Inside was definitely money. Definitely _lots_ of money. Sasuke cautiously reached forward, as if it would disappear like a leprechaun's gold the moment he touched it. He picked up a wad of twenties and held it gingerly, before grinning widely. He dug through the wads, excitement at his and Naruto's find rushing through his veins. He'd seen movies where the heroes would flick the money across their thumb, and they'd be able to tell how much there was. Sasuke tried it; it didn't work.

Childish thoughts of wealth and fancy filled his thoughts and imagination and he dug though the money. They could buy anything they wanted now! A better apartment! Fancy clothes! A car of their own! They could hang out at all of those big, fancy clubs that all the rich people of Konoha hung out at!

But the thoughts darkened as reality of his and Naruto's situation sunk in. How would they be able to use this money freely? People would wonder where they got it. How could two kids working at a meat packing plant suddenly come across loads of money? Besides, other Mafiosos hung out at places like that, and they'd be looking for whoever wiped out the big men of the Mist Mob.

Also, hadn't he and Naruto just pronounced to Kiba their desire to follow the path of righteousness? They'd dedicated their lives to the permanent cleansing of Konoha… Suna… everywhere of those evil men that ruined the world for all the good and kind people of the world.

At this realization, his thoughts of fancy returned, but different this time. With this money, they could keep themselves afloat on their mission indefinitely! And, if the Mist Mob was any indication, any big hits like last night could lead to even more wealth! They could get more people to help them, and spread their mission across the Hidden Villages! He and Naruto would lead an army of the righteous, and army of Saints, across the shinobi world, leaving a utopia behind! They'd be heroes! Gods among regular men!

Sasuke gasped and caught himself. No. He'd started daydreaming about all-powerful again. He needed to kick that habit. No. They wouldn't be gods. They couldn't be gods. They were out to help the good men of the world, not make themselves rich or famous. They'd work from the underground of the shinobi world, wiping out the evil of the world from the shadows. Besides, he couldn't get too far ahead of himself right now. They were only two men, three if they recruited Kiba.

Sasuke's mind snapped back to reality as he thought of Kiba, and guilt and worry filled his heart. Here he'd been, selfishly thinking about money, when one of his best friends was out there facing his old teammates. He could be dying right now! Sasuke sighed in frustration. He knew Kiba was good with a gun, but what where the chances he be able to live, much less get back to the apartment safe?

BAM!

Sasuke leapt out of his seat in surprise as the front door blasted open and the fumbled for his shuriken in surprise. He saw Naruto's chair tilt over as his brother was awakened roughly, and heard a _thump_ as Naruto hit the floor.

Turning in defense, he expected Mist men to be in the living room, kunai flying through the air at his face already, but instead found… Kiba. Ranting, raving, crying, hysterical Kiba.

"Pack your shit! We gotta get outta here! We gotta get out!"

Sasuke sputtered for a moment in shock at Kiba's sudden appearance before managing to get his voice working. "W-what? What happened?"

"I killed 'em!" Kiba yelled hysterically, as he grabbed a duffel bag from the closet. Sasuke watched in confusion as Kiba began grabbing random objects from around the room and piling them in the duffel. "Oh, Jesus! I killed 'em all!!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow in surprise as Kiba continues to rummage through all the junk in his apartment and dump things into his bag. '_Kiba? Kiba killed the Sound? Who in the Sound? All of them? All of who?_'

"Kiba?" Sasuke jumped again as a voice echoed through the apartment and turned quickly to see Kin staring in confusion at Kiba as he tumbled through the apartment, while Karin rubbed her eyes sleepily. Sasuke swore to himself. He didn't need to deal with these bitches right now.

"Hey, hey!" Sasuke heard, and turned to find Naruto up and following Kiba around. "Just calm down. Tell us what happened!"

"No! Fuck you!" Kiba yelled, turning and shaking a iron at Naruto's head. Naruto ducked quickly and backed off a bit as Kiba raved. "You start getting excited! We gotta fucking go!"

"Kiba!" Kin said loudly. Sasuke could hear the anger in her voice, even as he watched Kiba.

Sasuke had a sudden realization. If what Kiba was saying was true… then he'd just provoked the Sound be killing who knows how many of them. Now the three of them were in trouble with the feds and _two_ Mobs. He quickly jumped over to the table and began throwing his and Naruto's kunai, shuriken and money into the duffels.

"Who did you kill?" he said loudly as he packed. He could Kin slowly yelling Kiba's name louder as Kiba raged through the apartment.

Naruto quickly ran over as well and began dumping things into his duffel. He looked over his shoulder as Kiba rushed past. "Holy shit. Who? How many?

"Hurry the fuck up!" Kiba yelled, sounding desperate, tossing a old vinyl record into his bag.

Sasuke turned in surprise as Naruto began laughing loudly. He glared as his brother shrugged with a grin. "This is some crazy shit, man!"

"Those cocksuckers sold me out!" Kiba yelled across the apartment. Sasuke turned in shock and grabbed Kiba as he rushed by again.

"Didn't I fucking tell you so, Kiba? They pull on you first?"

Kiba began sobbing quietly as he blubbered on in fear. "They… they pulled… no they… What did I fucking do? In, in the middle of the Akimichi."

Sasuke mouth dropped and hung open in shock. "Akimichi the _deli_? Oh, shit!"

Naruto roared with laughter at this news. "Ho-holy shit, Kiba! You got a jumbo set of coconut balls man!"

"KIBA!" Sasuke turned as both Kin and Karin yelled loudly across the apartment. However, he stopped short of yelling at them himself as he saw Kiba turn toward the two of them with a look of utter rage and contempt on his face.

"WHAT?!"

Kin's eyes widened in fear at the tone of voice Kiba was using as she and Karin leaned back into the couch in terror. Her mouth moved slightly for a couple moments before she quietly whimpered, "Where's my cat?"

Sasuke jaw dropped a second time. She actually remembered the cat? But Kiba wasn't fazed at all as he stepped forward into the living room and yelled, "I killed your fucking cat, you druggie bitch!"

Kin reeling in shock at Kiba's declaration before stuttering in a quiet voice. "You... oh god, why?"

"I felt it would bring closure to our relationship!" Kiba yelled.

"You killed my... my..." Sasuke raised an eyebrow as he realized that Kiba had been right about Kin. She didn't even know her own cat's name!

"Your what?!" Kiba roared. "Your fucking what?!"

"My, my..."

"Your what, bitch?!" Kiba slammed his fist on the coffee table in the living room and picked up a rusty kunai from the floor and held it to his throat. "I'll slit my own fucking throat if you can tell me that fucking cat's name! Go ahead! Your what?! Your precious little..." he dwindled away as Kin struggled to think.

"Ah, um, Skippy," Karin said suddenly.

"Oh, right. Skippy!" Kin said eagerly.

Sasuke grimaced nervously as he saw Kiba's eye twitch as Kiba rubbed his temples, before turning and punching a large hole in the wall. "Aw, Christ! What color was it, bitch?!"

"Don't you yell at her you fucking prick!" Karin yelled, in a sudden rush of courage, only to back away in fear as Kiba turned in rage and place the kunai against her throat.

"Shut your fat ass, Karin! I can't buy a pack of pocky without running into nine guys you fucked!"

Sasuke watched in mild pity as Kiba grabbed the keys to Kin's car while the two girls began bawling in fear on the couch.

"All right, let's get the fuck outta here," Kiba said angrily as the he stormed out the door, Naruto following giddily with a sly grin on his face.

Sasuke felt bad for the two girls as he walked out the door, but still managed a smirk as heard the last words out of them as he walked down the stairs.

"Is my... I mean it's not really...?"

"No. No. It's not fat."

As the three men walked through the alley towards Kin's car, Kiba continued his raving about what had happened. "Those rat fucks! All of them were all laughing at me!"

Naruto quickly walked forward and tapped Kiba's shoulder to catch his attention. "You sure you killed them?"

"Fuckin-A-right I did," Kiba said angrily. "I had a goddamn turkey shoot over there."

* * *

Kiba sighed as he stared at the receiver. '_What the fuck is wrong with me? What the hell am I doing here?_'

He'd just got off the phone with Naruto on a pay phone. He turned slowly and leaned against the phone carefully, surveying the small deli across the street. Akimichi's was a small bar formerly owned by one of Naruto and Sasuke's current managers, before the Sound Mob had muscled in on the area, and forced Chouza Akimichi to forfeit ownership of the place. Kiba'd heard that Orochimaru had planned to make it an outpost, but apparently people still like the place, even after Chouza had been replaced, so it had been kept open as a business venture. Chouza had managed to get the job at the meat packing plant due to him being an old war buddy with the owner.

Kiba glared at the door as the current owner, Jiroubou, walked through the front door of the deli and dumped a bucket of who-knows-what into the street gutter. Kiba had always hated that bastard, always acting like Kiba was an idiot. He always acted like he knew everything that was going on in the world, and in the Sound Mob itself for that matter, and always made it seem like he thought Kiba knew nothing at all.

Kiba also noticed that Jiroubou seemed to be in an unusually good mood today. A flash of anger flared through Kiba's mind as he wondered why Jiroubou would be so happy. He hadn't failed to notice the news report on the television through the window, which looked like it was reporting from a hotel room that Kiba had recently become familiar with.

_He's probably been told that you were killed. He hates you so much, it probably made his day._

**Shut the hell up. They can't think I'm dead. They're just waiting for me to call in.**

_Oh? Why didn't they send someone to check your apartment then?_

… **Just shut up.**

Kiba forced himself to calm down. He hadn't proven anything yet. But his glare lingered on Jiroubou as the fat son of a bitch waltzed back into the deli, and obvious bounce in his step. Kiba grinned wryly. '_With all the extra weight that fat fuck has on him, that's a lot of fucking bounce._'

Kiba stood upright and leaned forward off the pay phone as Jiroubou passed the window and went behind the counter. Kiba shook his head quickly and mentally braced himself, and then slowly began to cross the street. Dozens of emotions flashed through Kiba thoughts as he crossed the street: confusion, regret, denial, fear. But most predominantly, there was an incredibly strong, incredibly imposing feeling of anger.

As Kiba pushed through the door, he saw Jiroubou look up from the bar, a look of glee still covering his face. At the sight of Kiba, the cocky grin across the man's face vanished, replaced by a look of shock and disbelief. Kiba's heart swelled with anger again, but he suppressed and moved past the large man toward the back. There were several people in the deli, but the two he were looking for always sat in the back, and the same seat every time.

He approached a booth in the back of the bar, and saw the familiar faces of his two Sound Mafia teammates, Zaku and Dosu. Zaku was a thin man, with a Sound headband holding up his spiky hair. Dosu was a shorter but much larger man with an abundance of bandages covering his whole face and head. Kiba had always meant to ask if he did that for appearances or because he was injured, but at the moment, it didn't matter at all.

Dosu spotted him first, eyes popping wide open in disbelief and slight fear, and Zaku turned in curiosity and produced the same shocked face. Kiba saw Dosu's eyes flicker toward the TV, which was showing coverage of the deaths of the Mist Mob leaders. Kiba smirked slightly at the realization that they thought he'd killed all those Mist men. '_If they aren't afraid of me yet, they will be if they sold me out._' Kiba slowly walked over to the booth and stood over the two men and glared at the two of them.

"Surprised to see me?" he said quietly. He felt the anger inside of him rise as the two of them shot nervous glances at each other. "There _nine. Fucking. Men_ in that goddamned hotel. What the fuck is going on here?" The two of them shuffled nervously, before Zaku looked up, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"I'll bet it was a test," he said quickly, a bit of nervousness in his voice. "Kabuto came in here shooting his mouth off. He was making sure we knew. But we did what we were supposed to, eh? We kept our mouths shut." The two men laughed with other and Zaku grinned toward Kiba. "You? You did your part. They'll make us fucking generals now. We'll get taken care of."

"What?" Kiba's fists were shaking in fury, but he tried to keep his voice steady. Zaku and Dosu were laughing too hard at the moment to notice any change in their teammates voice. "Did everyone know? Next thing you'll tell me Jiroubou was in on it."

"Fuck. Kabuto told Jiroubou first." Kiba's eyes widened, and he felt several knuckles in his hand pop as his fists squeezed tighter. "That fat fuck knew before we did." The two of them roared in laughter as Kiba fumed in anger.

**There **_**did**_** set me up. Those fucking pricks!**

_Kill them. They left you to die, they deserve the same treatment. _

**That's the most sense you've made all fucking day…**

"At least we got our funny man back," Zaku said with a grin, patting Kiba on the shoulder.

Kiba gave a thin lipped grin back and chuckled along as the two continued laughing, while letting his right hand slide into his jacket and his fingers slide across the edge of the six pack of shuriken he'd bought the previous day. He swiftly lifted his left hand up to his right and dropped five shuriken into his palm, while holding one last one in his right. The two hadn't noticed his action and he continued to laugh right along with them, while he pulled his right arm back and threw it forwards.

_Thuck._ With a large splatter, the shuriken embedded itself inside Dosu's temple. The large man's head cracked against the wall and fell forward into his plate of food. His face (or what Kiba could see of it) still showed signs of his amusement, with only the mildest appearance of surprise as his head hit the table.

Kiba quickly dropped another shuriken into his right hand as Zaku's smile disappeared. He turned to look up at Kiba, who's smile had been replaced with a look of absolute rage. He put his hands up in defense as Kiba pulled back his arm again, only to shake from the impact of the shuriken imbedding itself in his sternum. _Thuck_. He managed to look down in shock before falling to the floor as Kiba turned and stormed toward the bar. Jiroubou pulled back in fear as Kiba dropped another shuriken into his right hand.

"You think that's funny, huh?!" Kiba roared. The remaining patrons in the bar screamed at the sight of the two dead men in the back, and a herd of people began running for the door. Kiba cocked his head in twisted amusement at Jiroubou's terrified face as he pulled back his arm. "How's this? Funny!" he yelled as the shuriken flew from his hand into Jiroubou's chest. _Thuck_. Another shuriken fell into Kiba's right hand.

"Funny!" _Thuck_.

"FUNNY!" _Thuck_.

"FUNNY!!" _Thuck_. Kiba laughed maniacally as the last shuriken splattered blood across the bar. He watched Jiroubou fall to the floor with a twisted smile on his face.

"Oh my god!"

Kiba snapped back to reality as he heard a young woman scream in fear. He turned in shock as he saw the last of the crowd run out of the door in fear. It felt as if a bucket of cold water had dumped over his head as realization over what he'd done set in.

**OH SHIT! I just wasted them in front of fucking everybody!**

_Not one of your better moves…_

**Shut up! You told me to!**

_I said you should kill them, but I didn't say to do it here._

**I… you… FUCK!**

Kiba turned and shot through the door, and heard another scream as one of the former patrons saw him rush out of the building. Turning the other direction, he bolted down the nearest alley, in a dead sprint for his apartment.

* * *

"Anybody see you?" Sasuke asked quickly as the three of them piled into Kin's small car.

"Fuck, man!" Kiba said, exasperatedly. "I may as well have posted flyers. Right out in public, man."

Kiba turned as he felt a hand pat his shoulder, and saw Naruto grinning widely. "Liberating isn't it?"

Kiba stared at Naruto for a moment, as if he'd gone mad. As Sasuke started the car, Kiba grinned and shook his head before chuckling a little bit. "Y'know it is, a bit."

* * *

A/N

Oh, sweet Jeebus, it's been a while, hasn't it? Sorry for the long wait, for those of you who were waiting, but having to wake up at 5 am every day is really kicking my ass. Not to mention we've been going out of town almost every other weekend. Also, I started playing Odin Sphere again, and it is ABSORBING MY SOUL.

You may notice that this chapter is quite a bit longer than the previous chapters, and it's because I think my previous chapter were not very in depth at all, but mostly just a mimicry of the movie. I'm trying to fix that by diving more into each character's thoughts (note Sasuke's power complex… lulz).

Also, I've noticed that the style of writing slightly alters depending on what I'm doing at the time of the writing. Most of the time, I'm watching a movie while I write, and it messes with my writing, due to the style of the movie. Earlier chapters were written to movies like 300, Super Troopers, and the South Park Movie. The end of this chapter was written while watching Kill Bill vol. 2.

Anyway, my idea is to try and complete at least one or two _scenes_ a day from here on in. I think that means I'll be able to pull off at least one chapter a week. 6 chapters to go from here, for those that don't know already. That's 14 in all, for those who are mathematically challenged.

I've been thinking a bit, and I think I'm going to try my hand at a Naruto fanfic that's actually based in the Naruto universe. Le gasp! I'm still working out the details of the story in my head, but I want to finish this story before anything else.

Read and Review, kthxbai.


	9. The Sin Bin Slaughter

_Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Boondock Saints belongs to Franchise Pictures._

**The Sin Bin Slaughter**

"Stop the car!"

Sasuke slammed the brakes immediately, causing the three men in the car to lurch forward as the tires screeched. Another car honked angrily as it passed by, the driver screaming curses at the three men. Naruto leaned out the passenger-side window at threw a few choice words back and flipping off the other driver before leaning back into the car. Sasuke quickly threw the car into park and turned in his to glare at Kiba.

"What the fuck, man?" he hissed angrily. "Why you tell me to fucking stop?"

Kiba nodded toward the right side of the street with an angry look on his face. Sasuke raised an eyebrow in mild surprise and turned to look. On the side of the street was a small building with a large, pink neon sign flashing the words, "Baki's Sin Bin." Several scantily dressed women strutted along the street in front of the building. Sasuke frowned in confusion. '_What, really? Right now?'_

Naruto snickered at the sight. "I know you just broke up with Kin, Kiba, but don't you think we've got better things to be doing right."

Kiba smacked Naruto in the forehead and glared at the two of them. "No, you retard. Just shut the hell up, both of you. And that means you too, Sasuke. I know you were thinking it too, you sick fucks." Sasuke smirked. Kiba knew him better than he thought. Kiba continued to fume as he looked at the place, and the two brothers watched as he pointed toward the place.

"Kabuto, that motherfucker," Kiba started quietly. "He's Orochimaru's right hand man, right? He's the one that set me up. Then he went around shooting his mouth off, telling everyone I was as good as dead."

"What the fuck's that got to do with this place?" Sasuke asked as Kiba let the information sink in.

"Shut up and listen," Kiba shot back. He pointed toward the entrance to the building. "He goes in there every Wednesday night around 10:00, and he jerks off in the same booth to the same titty dancer. Never misses."

The two brothers stared at Kiba for a moment. Sasuke leaned away from Kiba a little bit. '_How the fuck's he know that kind of shit?_'

"So?" Naruto asked suddenly. "Why do we need to know that?"

Kiba gaped at the two of them for a moment, then ran his hands through his hair in frustration. "So let's kill the motherfucker! I mean, what are you guys? That's like your new thing right?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow and looked over at Naruto, who shrugged in response. "Yeah, but, well..."

Kiba scoffed as the two struggled for words. "Oh, what the fuck? How do you guys decide who you're going after? I mean, who makes the cut? Is there, like, some sort of a raffle or something?"

"Well," Naruto said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head, "truth be told, those first ones just kinda fell into our laps."

"Well, what do you do?" Kiba asked, looking between the two expectantly.

Sasuke faced back toward the road and leaned back in his seat in thought. He hadn't really considered what they'd do after those Mist Mob guys. He'd thought about going after more Mist men, or even start after the Sound Mafia, but in reality, he realized… he didn't know how the fuck they'd do that. They had no idea where to find anybody that really was a high-profile _villain_. The only way they could find out was if they got into the whole underground crime thing themselves, and that was pretty much the exact opposite of what they were going for.

He turned back in his seat to look at Kiba and shrugged. "I guess we really don't have a system of deciding who."

Kiba slumped back into his seat and stared at the two in shock. He furrowed his brows in thought for a moment and stared at the floor. Suddenly, his eyes shot back up to the brothers with a look of glee in his eyes, as he began bouncing around in the back seat, pointing at himself.

"Me! ME! I'm the guy! I know everyone! I know their habits, where they hang out, who they talk to. I know where they live. I KNOW WHO THEY'RE FUCKING!" He slouched back into his seat in exasperation and then began speaking quietly. "We could kill _everyone_."

Sasuke turned back toward the road again, his eyes wide with amazement. Kiba was perfect! He'd been a delivery boy for the Sound for who knows how long, and Sasuke knew he'd been asked occasionally to take packages to other cities for the Mob. And Kiba had told them stories about heavy hitting killers and assassins he'd met and had to work with. Kiba was right. With Kiba's knowledge and help, the three of them could wipe out the entire Sound Mafia!

A grin spread across Sasuke's face as he felt a tapping on his shoulder. He looked up to see Naruto grinning at him expectantly. "So what do you think?" Sasuke chuckled at his brother's enthusiasm. He smirked as he glanced as Kiba, who watched him expectantly as well. He smirked as he turned back to the road and put the car in gear.

"I'm strangely comfortable with it," he said slyly, and Naruto and Kiba cheered and high-fived.

"But first," he said, and the two quieted as he thrust his thumb at Kiba, "we need to get you something better than a fucking six-pack of shuriken."

* * *

As night settled again in Konoha and the primary populace slowly lulled itself to sleep, the red light district downtown had just begun to wake up. Nocturnal people of the night slowly began to emerge from the cracks and shadows of the alleyways of the city. Pimps and drug dealers slipped and scurried through the slits between buildings, vanishing and reappearing in the rays of streetlight striping the street.

Naruto stood across the street from the club, hiding in the shadows of an alley, carefully watching the entrance of the club and it's passerby with loathing. He loved Konoha with all his heart, and had always thought of it as a beautiful and wonderful place. Places like this filled Naruto with anger. These people sullied the name and image of the city with their actions. They were the worse creatures of the earth in Naruto's eyes.

While these people angered him, Naruto did realize that some had no other choice. The world could be a cruel and merciless place, he knew. While some of these people scrounged for even the most meager of necessities, others grew fat and wealthy by controlling them. Naruto had seen them before. Drug dealers who forced orphan children to push weed and crack in exchange for protection from the elements. Prostitutes tempting men, then killing them for their money, and running off scot-free. These people couldn't be forgiven.

Naruto glared in disgust as a pimp walked smarmily down the street, walking tall with cane in his hands and uncaring of the looks of hatred he received from those he passed by. Naruto watched in silence as a young woman came up to him and began speaking to him. He could hear their voices grow louder and angrier as they disagreed on something.

Naruto's eyes flashed and his fists tightened in anger as the pimp suddenly struck the woman across the face with his cane. He reached instinctively for the shuriken holster on his leg as he strode forward to teach the pimp a lesson in… etiquette. However, he was stopped as a hand roughly grabbed his shoulder and pulled him back. He turned in anger to find himself face-to-face with Sasuke, who glared at him warningly.

"Leave him be," Sasuke whispered quietly. Naruto's eyes narrowed in anger, hearing the silent threat in his voice. "He'll get his punishment, that much is certain; but save it for another day. We've got more deserving men to handle right now."

Naruto growled in frustration, glaring at Sasuke in challenge. Sasuke glared right back, and the two stood staring into each other's eyes, gauging the others' resolve against their own. The two of them hadn't gotten into a real fight with each other in years, but they'd been tempted over the years. Naruto quickly pondered whether he could win in a fight with Sasuke at the moment, and began seriously considering his odds, before the two of them were shaken out of their standoff by Kiba.

"Jesus. Calm down, you dumb bastards."

Naruto turned his head and glared at Kiba, who has currently leaning against a trashcan while chewing a stick of pocky. Kiba frowned at Naruto's look and shrugged. "We're still here for that fucker Kabuto, right? Don't tell me you're gonna pussy out now."

Naruto shot glares between Kiba and Sasuke for a few moments, before huffing in resignation. "Fine, you heartless bastards. But, I swear, first chance we get, I'm coming back and wasting that fucker."

Kiba sighed in frustration, but Sasuke chuckled a bit. "Whatever you say, Dobe." Sasuke shook his head in amusement before turning to Kiba. "Time check?"

Kiba hastily shuffled with his overcoat, pulling back his sleeve and checking his watch. "9:59. That fucker'll be here any second now."

As if on cue, a tricked-out purple car drove up to the "Sin Bin" and screeched to a halt in the closest parking spot. Naruto watched carefully as Kiba motioned excitedly toward the car. A tall man with glasses and in a fine purple suit exited the vehicle and strode hastily into the building. He seemed fidgety and shoved s pair of hookers out of the way that were lounging in front of the building as he hurried in. He heard Kiba spit in disgust, "Sick, perverted fucker."

Naruto turned toward Sasuke and Kiba and motioned toward the alley connecting to the back of the club, and the two others nodded in agreement. The three of them turned to the street and strode silently across the street toward the far end of the building the club was connected to. As they vanished into the alley, they passed by the pimp Naruto had seen earlier, and Naruto shot him a look of pure hatred that caused the far to fall on his back in fear.

The three men slipped silently through the alley, hopping over trashcans and avoiding puddles. In a few moments, they arrived stepped under a small light illuminating the back door to the club. Naruto and Sasuke took flank on both sides of the door, while Kiba stood behind them, impatiently tapping his feet. The brothers quickly checked in both directions for witnesses or passer-by, before nodding to each other and Kiba. Turning back to the door, the three of them slipped on their gloves and black masks before each of them reached for their holsters of their preferred weapons.

"Okay Kiba," Naruto whispered quietly, turning to his friend, "this is…" he sputtered to a stop as his eyes landed of Kiba's face, and immediately broke out in laughter. He smacked Sasuke's shoulder and pointed his thumb at Kiba. Sasuke turned to look and burst out laughing as well. Kiba looked between the two of them in confusion.

"What? You guys got masks." Naruto burst out laughing again. Kiba was wearing a black mask that covered his neck and lower face up to his nose and had a loose-hanging blue bandana that slightly draped over his left eye.

"You, ha… You look, haha!... You look fucking ridiculous!" Naruto managed to wheeze out between laughs.

"Yeah, heh…" Sasuke gasped out. He cocked his head slightly then patted Naruto's arm with a grin. "You know, he kinda looks like that fucker from the police station, now. You know, the guy with the books?" Naruto burst out laughing again as he remembered. Kiba looked just like the cop that read all those "adult" books.

"Fine! Fuck it!" Kiba yelled angrily, pulling off the mask and bandana. "When we're done, what bitch is in there can I.D. me. I don't care. Just trying to be professional, but _nooooo_…"

"No. NO," Sasuke choked out, trying to calm himself. "No. No. It looks good. C'mon, put them back on. They're good."

Kiba glared at the two of them as they continued to force down their laughter, before begrudgingly putting the mask and bandana back on. As he finished tying the back of the bandana, the three of them reassumed their positions; Naruto on the left, Sasuke on the right, and Kiba taking up the rear. Naruto put up a ready stance to kick the door in, and Sasuke held up three fingers to signal a countdown.

But before they could count down, Sasuke snorted quietly in laughter. "Now, Kiba, are you sure you don't want to bust into this place for… _other reasons_?"

As Naruto snorted in laughter, Kiba punched Sasuke in the back. "Fuck you! Just fucking go you stupid prick!"

Sasuke motioned toward the door as he chuckled, and with a smirk, Naruto threw his foot forward to connect with the door. The wood around the knob splintered and cracked, sending shrapnel into the building as the door burst open and the men rushed in.

* * *

The front door of "Baki's Sin Bin" creaked open. Kakashi turned his head toward the noise and saw Agent Sai stride into the room. He raised an eyebrow as Sai climbed the front stairs into the large, circular room that Kakashi stood in now and observed the scene.

Kakashi currently stood in a small, circular, _pink_ room. The room had several small chairs and had a stripper pole in the center of the room. There were several racks of revealing and erotic outfits off to one side of the room, and there was a doorway of beads on the other side connecting to the dressing rooms and back alleyway. Near the door Sai had come in through was a small, pink fluffy couch where Asuma was comforting a stripper. The stripper, a young blonde woman with a long ponytail and bangs covering her right eye, was crying on the sofa, apparently traumatized after being held hostage.

On the side of the room opposing Sai, three large glass windows stretched across the walls of the room. The windows had buttons on the sides of them, which opened and closed sliding panels over the windows. However, at the moment, the windows were all shattered inward into small rooms on the other side of the glass, where three men lay dead on the floor, riddled with kunai and shuriken. The walls were covered in blood; Kakashi could tell the assault on all of them had been quick and brutal. Kakashi smirked in humor; all three men had figuratively _and_ literally been caught with their pants down. But the murder itself wasn't the worst part.

The man in the center had been labeled as a high-ranking member of the Sound Mafia.

As Sai's gaze landed on the crying stripper, Kakashi spoke up. "She was in here when it went down."

"Can she I.D. them?" Sai asked, unenthusiastically. He obviously didn't think she would.

He was right. "They were wearing masks."

"Of course they were," Sai said grimly, striding past Kakashi towards the glass panels, or what remained of them.

* * *

Sasuke stormed into the room next to Naruto, with Kiba right behind, tearing through a bead doorway into a large round room. Three panels covered the far wall, and a stripper pole occupied the center of the room. He heard an audible squeak behind him, and turned, kunai at the ready.

Sprawled against the wall in fear was a blonde stripper, eyes wide with fear. Sasuke quickly motioned to Kiba, who leapt forward and covered the girl's mouth and placed a brand new, _incredibly sharp_ shuriken to the girl's neck. Sasuke heard the girl squeal in fear as a slight trickle of blood slid down the girl's neck. Sasuke glared at Kiba, who caught the look and slackened his grip a little.

"Which one is he in?" Kiba hissed, turning his attention back to the stripper. The girl whimpered in mild confusion, causing Kiba to shake her a little to scare her. "Don't act you don't know who the fuck I'm talking about! Which one?!"

A look of mild realization crossed the girl's eyes, and she pointed toward the middle panel shakily. Kiba looked toward Sasuke for approval, and Sasuke nodded in return, pointing towards the door. Kiba began dragging the stripper toward the door. As he got up against the wall next to the sliding panel, he released his hand from the girl's mouth.

"What's his routine?" he asked, motioning toward the door with his free hand.

"H-h-he jerks off i-in there," the stripper stuttered quietly, visibly shaking. "Th-then he puts m-money through the slot and I raise the d-door.

"How?" Naruto asked loudly, making the girl jump in fright.

"Th-the orange button!" she answered quickly, motioning towards the controls next to the panel.

"Then what?" Kiba asked quickly. The stripper hiccupped in fear and began sobbing quietly. Kiba growled and pressed the shuriken a little closer to her throat. "Tell me!"

"H-he watches me d-do my t-thing and f-finishes himself off," she choked out, breaking down into tears.

Kiba pulled the kunai away from the girl's throat, glancing at Sasuke and Naruto with a look of confusion and regret in his eyes. '_Looks like he might have the heart for this kinda shit after all_,' Sasuke thought with a bit of pride. As Kiba shook his head and got his game face back on, he dragged the stripper over towards the door towards a peep hole in the sliding panel. He glanced in for a moment before leaping back in disgust. "Oh, man. He is one fucked up sicko…"

* * *

"How many where there?"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow as Sai walked up to him. Sai had a slightly disheveled look about him at the moment, after looking around the room a bit. Sai sighed in frustration and shook his head. He nodded toward the stripper. "Killers. How many where there?"

Kakashi nodded slightly and held up his fingers. "Three, it seems."

Sai raised an eyebrow and gave Kakashi a surprised look. "Really? That many?"

"Yeah," Kakashi sighed. "But only two did the shooting; or, at least, for the middle one."

* * *

Kiba grinned wildly. He'd been waiting for this moment since the day he'd met that bastard, Kabuto. His only regret was that he wasn't the one that would have the pleasure of killing that sick fucker. He chuckled sinisterly again at the thought of a dead Kabuto, killed in the most embarrassing way possible.

At the moment, Kiba still held the struggling blonde stripper and had his hand over her mouth so she wouldn't make too much noise. His other hand was twitching nervously as it hovered over the orange button on the control panel. He glanced over to Naruto and Sasuke, who each had three kunai or shuriken in their hands, respectively. He waited for their signal, but gave the two brothers a confused look as they began speaking a prayer of some sort.

His confused look vanished quickly, though, once the two finished and looked up at Kiba, nodding and getting into position. Kiba tapped the button with a snickered and quickly dragged the struggling girl away from the opening panel. He saw Naruto and Sasuke wince from the sight behind the glass, but giggled in glee as they launched their weapons. Oh, how he wished he could see the look on Kabuto's face right now!

He leaned quickly over to get a better look as the weapons burst through the glass, spraying Kabuto with shrapnel as all of the kunai and shuriken shredded through his body, spraying the walls with Kabuto's blood in his dying moments. In his excitement, Kiba through the stripper against the nearby sofa and strode forward quickly to watch Kabuto fall to the floor in a gory mess.

He turned in shock as he heard a dampened thump from behind him, and saw Sasuke and Naruto turn as well. But the three of them quickly calmed down as they found the stripper passed out on the floor.

"Nice one, letting the girl fall like that," Naruto said with a grin. "You're a real gentleman, you know that?"

Kiba turned and glared at Naruto. "Shut the fuck up, you blonde prick."

* * *

"So what are you thinking," Kakashi asked, turning to Sai. "Mist retaliation?"

"No, it's too early for that," Sai said, shaking his head sullenly. Kakashi could see his frustration in his furrowed brows and annoyed eyes. "Half their infrastructure got taken out at the St. Minato Hotel. Besides, if you're a hitter, you're either working for the Mist or the Sound. There's no riding the fence. Our little theory from last night just got blown to shit."

Kakashi looked nervously over to Asuma and Ebisu, who both had confused looks on their faces. The weapons and techniques employed by the killers was pretty much the same in both incidents, and what Sai said was true: you couldn't work for both the Mist _and _the Sound. Not in this town at least.

Sai walked slowly over toward the middle panel and studied the scene. He muttered quietly, so soft Kakashi barely caught it. "Something… new is going on here."

Kakashi frowned. Something wrong was definitely going on here in Konoha. First the mass butchering of nine heavily armed, incredibly powerful Mist Mafiosos in one of the most popular hotels in all off Konoha. That was unlikely enough in the first place; but the fact that whoever did it, they left zero clues at all? Damn near impossible. At least with that information, if gave them hints at a hit attempt from the Sound Mafia.

But now? With a major Sound man dead in the same manner? Same style, same weapons, no clues at all? That meant that there was no chance the Sound set up the Hotel incident. But what the hell did it mean? If the Sound didn't hire these people to kill off the Mist men, then who did, and why?

"Let's review what we know," Sai said quietly, catching Kakashi's attention. He turned back to the three other detectives, who quickly gathered around, hoping said could shed some light on the situation. "After talking to the dancer we know that their mark was the guy in the middle booth. After she watches them take him down, she passes out."

* * *

Sasuke shook his head in amusement as Kiba sat down next to the passed out stripper, peeling off his mask and bandana and wiping off his forehead. "I don't know how the fuck you guys do it," he said in exhaustion. "These masks are fucking hot…"

Without pulling off his mask, Sasuke reached into his pocket and pulled out a half-empty roll of pennies. He tapped a grinning Naruto on the shoulder, and motioned toward the shattered glass. The two of them turned and leapt over the shattered remains of the glass into the small room.

"Kiba was right," Naruto muttered silently, looking down at their victim, whose right hand was still where it had been when the panel slid open. "This guy was a real sick fucker."

"Yeah, I guess," Sasuke said with a tone of revulsion in his voice. "But on the bright side, now he's a _dead, _real sick fucker."

Naruto chuckled a bit and grinned through his mask. "Yeah, you're right. Oh, and by the way, dibs on the left hand."

"Fuck!"

The two of them leaned forward over the corpse and crossed the man's arms over his chest (Sasuke with much reluctance), and place a penny in each of the man's eyes. They pulled out their cross necklaces and bowed their heads reverently, praying for the soul of the man they'd killed, before kissing their crosses and placing them back under their shirts.

As the two stood up, Naruto's attention turned toward a small TV set in the room, which seemed to be playing an incredibly graphic, but incredibly… _violent_ film. "Christ, people actually get off on this shit?" Naruto said, shaking his head and turning off the TV. He turned back to the dead man and shook his head in disgust.

Sasuke chuckled a bit, and turned back to the main room to hop out and stopped dead. He pulled off his mask in surprise, hopping his reduced vision had deceived his eyesight; but no, he was right. Kiba was leaning over the passed out stripper, who'd apparently lost her top when she'd passed out, and was groping the poor girl with a very satisfied look on his face. He smacked Naruto, who turned as well and reeled in shock.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Sasuke roared.

Kiba leapt to his feet in shock, his hands raised in surrender. His face was completely red in embarrassment. "I-I'll tip her," he said in fear of what they'd do to him.

Naruto shook his head in mock disgust and tapped Sasuke's shoulder. "We've teamed up with a sex offender," he said jokingly.

"So, when are you getting a plastic fuck doll?" Sasuke said, catching on and feigning disgust.

"All right," Kiba whimpered remorsefully. "I'm sorry. I'm pathetic." The brothers roared with laughter as Kiba took out his wallet and began piling dollar bills on the unconscious stripper.

* * *

"Why the two extra victims," Sai asked the detectives as he slowly paced between the two far rooms.

"Witnesses, maybe?" Ebisu ventured. Kakashi raised an eyebrow. He hadn't heard Ebisu talk even a little since Sai showed up at the scene. '_Probably didn't want to make an ass of himself again…_'

"No, no," Sai responded quietly, approaching the booth on the left. He pushed a bright orange button gently, and a large steel panel slid shut over what remained of the glass barrier. "No, there was no way they could've seen it."

"Yeah, I guess…" Ebisu sighed.

"How do you know that?" Asuma asked. Kakashi choked back a surprised laugh and heard Ebisu do the same. Asuma turned and stared dumbly at Kakashi in confusion. Sai turned with a smirk and raised an eyebrow in mild amusement.

"So, I suppose you two know exactly how this system works then," Sai said, turning his attention to Kakashi and Sai. Kakashi balked in embarrassment and surprise at the question, and could feel his face growing hot. He looked over and saw Ebisu sputtering incomprehensibly. Kakashi hung his head slightly as the other officers on the scene began chuckling in amusement. "Guess so," Sai said with a grin, while Asuma grinned in mild retribution.

"Now, Detective Asuma," Sai said, catching Asuma's attention once again. "I assume you're married?"

"Yeah, actually."

"May I ask the name of your… better half?" Kakashi raised an eyebrow slightly at his slight accusation.

"Oh, uh, Kurenai Yuuhi."

"No shit," Sai said, actually raising an eyebrow in surprise. "The reporter?"

"Yep," Asuma said, an air of pride in his voice.

"Married young?"

"Um, at 19, actually. So, yeah, I guess," Asuma answered, scratching his head in thought.

"_Really_? Knock her up or something?"

"Uh, no…" Asuma said, turning slightly red from embarrassment. "Just caught doing… certain things by her father and, well, forced to get hitched. You know… that whole story." Kakashi raised an eyebrow in wonder. Asuma didn't talk about his and Kurenai's past often like he did now. Hell, the only reason Kakashi knew was because he'd been friends with him at the detective academy. Asuma obviously trusted Sai quite a bit; more than Kakashi did, at least.

"Makes sense, I suppose. She a stickler about what you do with your free time?"

"Um, not really, no."

"She still… active in bedroom after all these years?"

Kakashi's eye widened in shock at Sai's bluntness, but Asuma just turned a little red and chuckled a bit. "Well, I suppose you could say that."

"Well, then," Sai began, grinning in understanding; "I suppose that answers that oddity. But let's not get too far off topic. Allow me to enlighten you gentlemen as to the protocol of the porno industry, at least, here in Konoha, since it seems that one of you has never been in a place like this before."

Sai strode over to the leftmost booth and motioned towards it. "Now, then, a man goes into the booth, puts the money in the slot. The dancer gets it on the other side. She hits the button, door goes up, now there is only glass between you and her. Then, of course, it's… fun time."

Asuma nodded in understanding. He turned to Kakashi, who turned slightly red again, and chuckled slightly, making Kakashi turn even redder. "Right, then. So no way they could have seen it?"

Sai nodded. "According to our only witness, at the time of the first murder, those doors were down… which means this: they looked down in through the peep hole, saw these guys and opened the doors from out here. They send kunai and shuriken through the glass, and down the other two go. But the question here is this: Why? Why the other two?"

* * *

As Naruto nimbly hopped out of the small room, his head turned as a slight rustling echoed out from his left. He followed the sound until it landed on a small slot on another sliding panel, where several large dollar bills slid through. A similar sound echoed from the room to Naruto's right, and he turned to see more money slide down through another sliding panel.

He nodded to Sasuke and headed toward the door on the left, while his brother took the right. He stood on his toes as he approached the panel and peeked through a peep hole down into the room. After only a glance, he reeled in disgust and pulled away from the door. He looked over and saw Sasuke sharing a similar feeling of revulsion.

"What?" he heard Kiba say in confusion. "What is it?"

"This place is like a scumbag yard sale," Sasuke said with distaste.

"No shit," Naruto said. "We should come down here once a week and just clean house with these slimeballs."

* * *

"Maybe the three of them had something in common," Ebisu suggested, surprising Kakashi with his sudden enthusiasm for his work. Ebisu seemed to have obtained a desire to better himself, at the very least for the sake of showing up Agent Sai.

'_Looks like we may be able to make a decent detective out of him yet_,' Kakashi thought with a short swell of pride.

"No," Sai said, shaking his head. He pointed toward the middle booth, "This guy is big time. The other two? Just a bunch of street-walking scum."

"Well, maybe that's what they had in common," Ebisu said with obvious traces of sarcasm. "They were all _bad guys_… now they're all _dead_ bad guys."

Kakashi and Asuma smirked at the comment while Sai shook it off and continued pacing. If only it were that simple, then all cases would be a cakewalk. But Kakashi's amusement vanished as he saw Sai's face suddenly glanced back at Ebisu's grinning face and took on a strangely ponderous and disturbed look. A chill of fear raced down Kakashi's spine.

'_What if it really is just that simple? What if someone really did knock off these two punks just because they were… bad men_?'

* * *

Sasuke slipped his hands into his shuriken holster on his leg and counted his remaining shuriken. '_Eight. That's four each. And Naruto should have about… eight kunai left… convenient. Now we can be sure this sick bastards are wasted._' He nodded toward Naruto and turned toward the door on the left, but stopped as Kiba rushed up to the two of them.

"Wait, wait, wait, guys!" he said holding up his hands to stop the two. "Oh man, you guys. You gotta let me do these bastards. I-I-I'm such a moron. I gotta make up for the tit thing, you know?"

"No way," Sasuke said sternly, shoving Kiba aside. "I've been waiting for this opportunity like this since we started this thing, asshole. You're not gonna take it away from me now."

"Aw, c'mon," Kiba whined. "Look, I fucked up bad, guys. I gotta clear my family name here. I've brought shame to the Inuzuka clan, y'know?"

"C'mon, man," Naruto said sympathetically, patting Sasuke on the shoulder. "Give the guy a shot." Sasuke turned and glared at his brother, who grinned in amusement at Sasuke's frustration at the two of them. Sasuke groaned in disappointment at the thought at losing the two perverts behind the screens. He turned back to Kiba, who leaned back in mild fear as Sasuke glared at him, studying him.

'_It's true that we need recruits for this mission of ours, and Kiba was ideally the first possible recruit; but is this kind of thing really for him? What we need if good men who are willing and capable of bringing down bad men through their own abilities. While Kiba's certainly willing to do this shit, he's not exactly the most honest or compassionate man in the world. Not to mention he just copped a feel from an unconscious stripper…_

'_Also, he has next to no talent or intuition when it comes to this kind of thing! He walked into an unknown situation with only a six-pack of shuriken, and nearly threw his life away last night just for the sake of money and power, when he could have walked away and tried when he had a better chance and better weapons. And to wipe out three men in the middle of the fucking day, out in public? He might be too… impulsive for this kind of thing. He needs to learn to think._'

Sasuke sighed as he finished thinking and stared intently at Kiba, before speaking silently. "Kiba, this is the real deal. If you're gonna join us in our mission, you've got to learn now to be smart and deadly. We must kill without hesitation, without guilt, without remorse. Evil man, dead man."

Kiba stared in shock at Sasuke for a moment, before shaking his head. As he looked back at Sasuke, Sasuke grinned as Kiba put on a serious face and nodded intently. Sasuke quickly reached for his weapon pack and held out his remaining eight kunai. He turned and saw Naruto grin widely at his decision and hold out his kunai to Kiba as well. Kiba smirked slightly as he accepted the weapons and attached the two holsters to each of his legs.

* * *

"We got another thing to think about here," Sai said, turning and walking over to the rightmost room. "Seems there's a real mystery assassination going here. Now, from what we can tell from the witness' report as well as reports from crime lab and autopsy, there were two killers, and one associate. And we know for a fact that there were only two different weapons used. _Personalized_ weapons it seems, too; a specially designed kunai made especially for speed, and a custom shuriken. The shuriken is not made by any known manufacturers, so they are most likely made by a civilian designer, a weapons specialist or something of the like."

The three detectives listened on eagerly as Sai continued telling the three of them what he'd found. They followed his the directions of his hands as he motioned toward the center stall. "We have also found, and we can see this ourselves, that the guy in the middle booth was killed by both types of weapon; this coincides with the testimony given to us by our witness."

Sai motioned back to the two booths on the left and right. "Now, we've had to piece together for ourselves what happened to Thing 1 and Thing 2 here. I'm sure you've seen this for yourselves; we've found that our man on the left died via kunai, and the other via shuriken. Therefore, we should be able to assume that each killer took out one of the scumbags, right? Not quite, and this is where it gets weird. There is the obvious change in skill with the victims. The man in the middle was killed with pinpoint accuracy, while the two on the sides are killed more due to surprise and the number of bullets than with talent. But the freakiest this is this: our ballistics men found a kunai embedded in the wall on the right side, and the same with a shuriken on the left.

"Now, the question is: why the crossover?" He turned back to the three other detectives, who all stood dumbfounded at the conundrum. He shook his head in frustration. They couldn't get it either then. Two, or four in this case, heads weren't better than one in some situations. "Any theories at all?"

"That's just fucking weird," Kakashi sighed. "I have no idea."

"Jesus. I just can't think anymore," Asuma sighed, rubbing his temples in frustration and exhaustion. "That scene over at the coffee shop today tapped me out."

"What? What story?" Sai said quickly, turning to Asuma. The three's eyes opened in surprise at the sudden interest in the story.

"J-Just a regular homicide," Asuma stuttered out. "A guy went nuts over off in West Konoha today. Killed three guys in a deli in broad daylight. Fled the scene. Don't have much on him."

"Why was I not informed of this?" Sai hissed angrily.

"They weren't related," Ebisu blurted angrily. Sai cocked his head and glared at Ebisu as the young detective resumed his former air of superiority, as though he was a genius. "The guy used your everyday, over the counter shuriken. And it was a completely messy situation as well. Totally amateur, not like this."

Sai scoffed and glared at the young detective. "And who were the victims, eh, Ebisu?"

Ebisu blinked in surprise and shrugged. "A couple of peons for the mob and…"

"Oh that's just BEAUTIFUL!" Sai roared in anger. The three detectives leapt back in surprise at Sai's outburst, as the man turned on the three of them in rage. "All the scumbags in Konoha start dropping dead and you think it's unrelated?! Ebisu, the day I want the Konoha Police doing my thinking for me, I will have a fucking tag on my toe!

"Now, get me a squad car and get me over there," Sai growled, turning toward the front door. "I want the crime scene photos and any witness statements NOW!"

Sai grabbed his coat off a frilly pink coat rack near the entrance and began to leave the building, before halting in his tracks, a memory from the previous case surfacing. The three detectives following close behind him screeched to a halt. '_Television… It couldn't be that simple could it_?'

Sai turned immediately and shoved his way through the confused detectives and strode quickly into the center of the room, where he assumed a basic stance for throwing projectile objects in opposing directions. However, he altered his stance slightly to cross his arms, throwing to the left with his right hand and vice versa. He smirked slightly as the three detectives looked on, reaching the same conclusion as him.

"Television the first time, movies this time. Looks like we got ourselves a cowboy…"

* * *

Kiba stood calmly in the center of the large room and breathed slowly. He had placed the shuriken on his right leg and the kunai on his left, since he needed the extra dexterity of his right hand to handle the shuriken. His hands rested loosely at his sides and his fingers slid slowly along the weapons Sasuke and Naruto had given him.

_This is your chance._

**I know. **

_This is where you show those two that you can be more than just a thug for the Sound._

**I know. **

_This is where you show them that you have the capacity to become a scion of righteousness, wiping out the evil men of_ _the world._

**I know. **

_Are you ready?_

…**Maybe.**

_Yes or no._

…**Yes. Definitely.**

_Good._

Kiba raised his head and glanced to the left and right. Sasuke and Naruto both stood at the ready near the controls for the sliding panels. They bounced on their feet in preparation to press the buttons and run. Kiba inhaled deeply and sighed one last time before nodding to the two of them.

Simultaneously, the two brothers smacked the orange buttons on the controls and dove away from the windows as the panels slid open. Kiba had only a moment to catch the locations of the two men in the rooms, before he reached for his holsters and threw a kunai and shuriken into the opposing rooms. As the glass shattered, he heard the man on his right cry out in pain. Reaching down again, he threw two more projectiles, focusing more accuracy towards his left; his mouth twitched upwards slightly as we heard two satisfying impaling sounds.

He continued his onslaught, throwing another five projectiles into each room, adjusting his aim if he heard the weapon clatter against the far wall in the rooms. On the eighth throw, he realized that he only had one of each projectile left. In 

the spur of the moment, and realizing that Naruto and Sasuke were watching, he took the weapons and crossed his arms, tossing the weapons into the opposite rooms.

"Wyatt-fuckin'-Earp, man!" he shouted in triumph, grinning wildly as the two men fell to the floor

* * *

Sasuke patted Kiba on the shoulder in congratulations as the three men walked out into the chilly alleyway. He was very proud of Kiba right now, and was secretly very glad that their first recruit had been someone that both he and Naruto knew and were good friends with. He admitted that Kiba's style was sloppy and reckless still, but perfecting his abilities could wait. "Not bad, dog breath," he chuckled as the three of them walked into the street towards their car.

"Shut up, duck butt," Kiba shot back, chuckling in embarrassment from the attention. "Hey, wait guys. You guys gotta teach me that prayer you were saying back there, man. That's some good shit. That some policy for you guys' mission or something?"

"Forget it," Sasuke said flatly. "It's a family prayer. You know, the whole, 'My father, his father before him,' that sort of shit."

"C'mon, man!" Kiba huffed indignantly. "I've known you guy for-fucking-ever! Aren't I kinda like family by now."

"Not a chance, fleabag."

"Okay, that's a low blow, you bastard. I only had fleas once, and that's cause my house was infested with them…"

The three continued arguing and laughing amongst themselves as they continued to get in the car and drive away from the club, as the formerly unconscious stripper ran out screaming in fright.

**

* * *

**

This is Kurenai Yuuhi, reporting live from the Akimichi Deli in West Konoha. Earlier today, we received reports that a man found to be a high-ranking member of the Sound Mafia was killed along with two other men were killed today. The victims were found at a local adult entertainment parlor. Police investigation has shown similarities between this murder and the massacre in the St. Minato Hotel. These murders, coupled with the three suspected mob-related killings that occurred at this local Konoha deli earlier this afternoon brings the death toll to six, just today. There is no doubt that the victims have all been criminals. Perhaps this explains why a public outcry to have these crimes stopped has not been heard.

* * *

A/N

Yays. Another chapter done. And for the record? The tit scene was the deciding factor for who'd play as Rocco. Going through the characters, I realized that Kiba was the most likely to pull something like that out of the genin nine and Team Gai.

Seriously, if I'm using the wrong names in this fic, someone tell me! I've watched the movie about a billion times, so managing the differences between it and the Naruto-casted scenes that are playing in my head gets a bit tricky. So, if you're like, "omg! Heez leik totahly uzin teh rong namz!" correct me, yah dumb bastards. (and yes I insult my readers! It amuses me to no end!)

Also, some people have said they won't read it because it's too much like the movie. Um, that's kinda the point, I think. I'm not really trying to be too incredibly creative in this story, just trying to get my writing style down, and hoping readers will give decent critiques so I can fix stuff (hint, hint, yet again). I'm trying to get my writing on par for at least a high school kid before I take a shot at the original Naruto fic I'm putting together after this bad boy's done.

Again, I'll throw out my ideas for the future. I'm definitely going to try my hand at an original Naruto story, staring some OCs. However, the plot is still in the making, so I'm thinking of doing a western-style Naruto AU fic first. I'd also put together another movie crossover (this time with a more offshooting storyline) if a good idea was suggested. I thought about 300, but I don't think I can make it fit…

Read and review, peoples. I'd do it for you, you ungrateful jerks…


	10. The Prisoner

_Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Boondock Saints belongs to Franchise Pictures._

**The Prisoner**

Sai paced around the bar anxiously, observing the scene. Three dead; two known Sound Mafia men, and a bartender. The bodies had been moved hours ago, and the regular body chalk outlines covered a booth and the floor behind the bar. Sai turned abruptly back to the pictures on the table next to the booth outlined in chalk. The crime scene photos had been taken before the bodies had been dragged away, but they were not up to the standards Sai needed. In a fit of rage, he smacked a salt shaker across the deli, shattering a small mirror that hung on the wall.

Why were these men targeted? Why was it done so recklessly? Why was the bartender, who had no criminal associations on record, killed? Why had more effort been put into the death of the bartender? Nothing made sense here and nothing had made sense at Baki's Sin Bin. Sai rubbed his temples in frustration as he continued to scan the photos.

Over time, he noticed certain oddities in particular photos, and began pulling them out of the pile. One was of the bandaged man's face lying in his food, which still had a look of shock on it. Another was of the same man's hands, which rested over the silverware beside the plate of food.

Sai nodded slightly, and stood up from the table, stretching his back in the process. He glanced over toward the bar, where his three little followers sat, watching him in anticipation. Sai smirked a little. '_Still can't think for themselves, can they. Three little lost sheep without a shepherd. Fucking pathetic._'

"So," Sai said, walking over to the bar and tossing the photos on the table. "The shooter knew these guys, right?"

The three detectives leaned over the bar and studied the photos, trying to decide how Sai had reached this conclusion. Looks of confusion covered their faces as the seconds ticked by, before Kakashi braved mockery and looked up at Sai. "How do you figure?"

"Friends, gentlemen," Sai said smugly. "They were friends." He pointed toward the photos, the one of the man's hands in particular. "We know that these guys were packing. However, when their corpses were studied, not one of their hands was near a kunai or shuriken. It's simple human behavior. If someone you don't know approaches you, you put your hand on any artillery you have on your person, right? This guy's got his hands on the table. He's eating his food, for Christ sakes. Thus, we can tell they knew each other, and since the victim wasn't threatened enough to keep his hands near a weapon, we assume that he wasn't particularly intimidated or threatened by the killer. They were friends."

Sai watched as the three men nodded in understanding and approval of the conclusion, and continued, pacing behind the bar. "Now, these two fucking scenes are related. There are too many coincidences for them not to be. Same day, five hours apart, dead mobsters on both scenes; pick your poison." Sai turned to the three and stared at them intently. "Now, the question of the day is, why did he kill the bartender?"

"Crime of passion," Asuma ventured. "He just went nuts. He would have killed everyone in here. He just ran out of shuriken."

Sai rolled his eyes at Asuma. "Asuma. Does this look like a fucking post office to you? This guy came in here with intent. Maybe he didn't know exactly what he was gonna do but he had a pretty good idea. If he'd done this for kicks, he'd have brought more ammunition with him, not just six shuriken. And why waste four shuriken on one man if you're going after everybody? The bartender wasn't a fucking accident."

"Well, we didn't get any help on that," Asuma sighed in fatigue. "A lot of people saw it, but nobody's talking."

"Fucking figures," Sai muttered. He waved his hands in frustration as he talked, "Look, are you guys seeing the pattern here? We got big questions at both of these crime scenes, with no answers. Why did they kill the guys in the other two booths? Why did he do the bartender, and with four shuriken? It would seem unnecessary, even stupid."

The three detectives shook their heads dumbly. Sai fumed in anger at the… nothingness left at the three crime scenes, at the incompetence of the men he worked with, at his OWN incompetence. He slammed his fists onto the counter. "FUCK! I hate cold crime scenes!"

"I'm fucking leaving now," he said angrily, walking out from behind the bar and grabbing his coat. "And do me a favor, tell me when the next guy dies, cause these guys are not done yet!"

* * *

"Would you care for more wine, sir?"

Orochimaru looked up indifferently at the waitress that had approached his table. '_Brown hair, young, some muscle, nice and lithe… she'd make a good replacement for Anko…_' The pale man smiled seductively and nodded slightly, causing the waitress to blush slightly as she refilled his glass.

"Please let me know if there's anything else you need, sir," she said, flustered, before bowing and walking away quickly.

Orochimaru smiled. He still had it, despite his age. He'd taken many effort to hide his signs of age, of course, some that probably weren't legal anymore. He didn't really care if they were or not; the man he saw made him look young, no matter the price offered, no questions asked, and Orochimaru had plenty of money to spend.

As for Anko… Orochimaru sighed. She really needed to be gotten rid of. They'd already been married for five years. He'd managed to seduce her and marry her, mainly for the sake of acquiring the company her father owned, and Orochimaru couldn't seem to acquire otherwise. Orochimaru had to admit, she'd been good fun to have around for awhile, when she still adored him. She'd been courteous around his guests, no matter how unseemly or untrustworthy, and always was supportive of his work.

However, she'd begun growing increasingly rebellious of the decisions he made for her, meaning she probably was becoming more and more certain of his flaunts with other, _younger_ women, and less approving of his less legal workings. It'd be better to remove her from his life. Besides, it wasn't as if he hadn't learned about those late night "confessions" with that Father Iruka fellow she'd been having on a regular basis now.

But decisions about Anko would have to wait until later. He attention turned as he watched an aging man walk wobbly from the restaurant's kitchen toward the bathroom. The man had mostly grey hair with some stray streaks of dirty red through it. He stood tall as he walked, despite both his eyes being halfway shut and looking blankly at nothing. Orochimaru smirked as the man ran into a cart traveling past and apologized profusely.

He knew his target was blind, and that the old fart was too proud a man to use a cane. He more preferred to give people the impression that he knew everything that was going on around him, despite his vision problems. Orochimaru chuckled slightly. The man's annoying pride was probably the only reason Orochimaru had decided to pay that waiter to stand there with the cart five minutes ago.

As the old man quickly hobbled into the restroom, Orochimaru stood up and strode quickly over to the bathroom himself. As he opened the door, he quietly slid into the restroom and locked the door behind him, before turning toward the sink. He saw the old man standing over the sink, hands feeling around a large leather case filled with cleaning supplies and accessories. With a slight grunt, the man grabbed a urinal cake and began tossing them toward each urinal on the opposing wall. Orochimaru raised an eyebrow, impressed, as every one of the cakes landed in their intended place.

Orochimaru stepped forward slowly, approaching the man from behind as he turned back to the leather case. Orochimaru inched closer, hoping to catch the man off guard, proving that he was in control. However, the man's head perked up and began sniffing the air. Orochimaru swore silently to himself as the man turned abruptly toward the Orochimaru and glare in his general direction. He knew he shouldn't have worn his _Ode de Hebi _tonight; the man had always known that Orochimaru preferred that brand.

"Fuck you, brat," the man snarled silently, turning back to the case.

Orochimaru frowned in anger at the man, treating him with such disrespect. He calmed himself though. He was here for a reason, and lashing out at the man would not help him accomplish anything. "I need your help, Sasori," he said quietly. "I've got a serious problem here, and I'm not screwing around."

Sasori scoffed as he dug through the case, pulling out fine china and placing on the sink. He began pulling out assorted colognes, cigars, and gum and placing them neatly on the plate. "I bounced you on my knee at family reunions, you damn brat," Sasori growled. "Your dad and me ran the whole east coast syndicate you snot-nosed little prick. After he and your mother died, who took care of you, raised you and taught you how to run things? And when you took the wheel, who was beside you?"

"Sasori, calm down. I just..."

"Don't start with your shit," Sasori hissed, turning on Orochimaru. "Don't you talk to me. 'Oh, hey Uncle Sasori, thanks for years of service. Here's a gold watch and a job sniffing other guys' shit eight hours a day.' What am I, a retired bus driver?"

Orochimaru sighed in frustration as Sasori slowly turned back to the sink and began neatly folding heated washcloths and placing them gently next to the sink. Orochimaru took several deep breaths to calm himself before speaking again. "I need the Gama Sennin."

Orochimaru flinched as he heard Sasori gasp and turn toward him, a look of fear blankly staring at the wall. "The Toad Sage? What did you do?"

"This kid," Orochimaru said quietly, "this _package boy._ He turned on us. Not just that, but he knows things. Lots of things, about the Sound. He could bring down the whole east coast, for God sakes. If he decides to go to the cops, he could dismantle us… totally."

Sasori stared quietly at Orochimaru for a moment before turning back to the sink, huffing in anger. "But the thing is," Orochimaru continued, anger in his voice rising, "it looks like for now, he's content with just killing us one by one. And even worse, the kid is good at it. I mean, I had a prodigy on my hands the whole time and didn't even know it."

Sasori snorted humorously. "Why should I care about some fucking kid that's wasting you? You brats abandoned me in my age, why should I do you any favors?"

Orochimaru sighed. He had hoped to win the man's favor by using the man's sentimentality of his old syndicate to get his information. However, it seemed after his… enforced retirement, he had no such sentimentality left. Reaching into his coat pocket, Orochimaru pulled out a small envelope and opened it, revealing several thousands of dollars worth of money. He riffled through the money with his thumb, letting the old man hear it, before letting it fall on the plate with a soft thump.

Sasori was silent for a moment, before sighing wearily. "Listen kid," he said quietly, "I think you better understand who you're dealing with here."

"Yeah…" Orochimaru persisted. "I was only twelve or thirteen when you guys used to talk about him, like he was a ghost or something."

Sasori chuckled slightly at the memory, before it darkened. "Your dad and I used him three times over twenty years, and only when everything was falling apart, when we were totally fucked. But believe me kid, you don't want this guy unless you are _absolutely certain_ you need him. He is… a fucking monster." Orochimaru's eye's narrowed as the old man shivered in fear.

"I've had this guy right in front of me," Sasori continued, voice rasping in dread, "and I couldn't tell you what he looks like, sounds like. He is the Picasso of assassins, kid. He plants hair samples, blood, puts skin under fingernails. He is a fucking genius. He's got a couple of stipulations for using him as well. He won't kill any women or children at all, no matter the circumstances."

Orochimaru blinked in confusion as Sasori suddenly chuckled. "Only one problem for you, though. He's been rotting in prison for twenty-five or thirty years. Don't even know if he's still alive. Or if he's even up to it."

Orochimaru was silent for a moment, before speaking just above a whisper. "There's ways around that."

Sasori glared for a moment, before pulling a notepad from his case a scribbling the name of the man on the paper, as well as the name of Konoha's highest-security prison. He tossed the paper carelessly at Orochimaru, who caught it and grinned. "Go find one."

* * *

In a small, but highest-security prison in the far reaches of Konoha, several klaxons began blaring. Over a hundred guards marched quickly through the main doors of the deepest, most secure section of the prison. The room was an enormous concrete box, with three thick, blank concrete walls adjacent to one single wall with twelve small cells placed a great distance from each other. Four cells spread across three tiered levels, with thick metal doors covering each separate cell.

The army of guards marched loudly into the room as the klaxon continued. Their ranks quickly broke off as dozens of them began filing onto the other tiers, while a majority of them remained on the ground floor. The most elite of the troops began surrounding the lower right cell. The swarm of guards surrounding the room collectively pulled out their preferred projectile weapons of choice and focused their aim at the single cell.

At the quiet urging from the captain of the guards, one of the younger guards was shoved forward toward the metal door, with much reluctance from the younger guard. The young guard nervously approached the door, and began typing in the code given to him by the captain into the aging digital keypad. In his nervousness, he mistyped the code and jumped in fright at the buzzer that went off at the mistake, earning him a reprimand from the captain. He fidgeted as he began to retype the code.

A loud clatter rattled through the Konoha prison as the old door, unopened in years, slowly slid open, despite the years of rust and decay. As the sliding door clanged against the far wall, the young guard opening it quickly leapt away from the door, allowing several dozen more experienced guards to rush forward into the cell and surround the prisoner inside the cell. The man was standing warily inside the cell, his head down and staring at the floor. At a motion from the captain, the prisoner slowly lifted his hands, allowing them to be shackled. Several heavy chains were looped around the man's body, securing him in what appeared to be a metal straight jacket.

A tug from one of the chains leading out of the cell caused the man to trip slightly, before catching himself and allowing himself to be led into the prison hallway. As he slowly walked out of the room, more chains were looped around him, tugging on various limbs in all directions. As he was led away from the cell, the remaining eleven men in the cells approached their own doors, and gazed through the small cracks in their cells at the man. The men near the other cells shifted nervously at the appearance of the other prisoners, but none of them made any motions, but continued to stare silently at the man being led from his cell.

After being led several meters from his cell, the man was ordered to stop. In the light, the entire swarm of guards could see the man clearly. The old man had long white hair, which seemed more natural than from age. He also had two red tattoos creating lines from his eyes to his chin. His prison outfit was old and tattered, showing the prisons miniscule attempts to keep the man in any sort of comfort.

A small metal cart was pushed up toward the man, and the man slowly stepped on top of it after being barked an order from the captain. As the man settled on the cart, the guards surrounding the room tensed up as a small group of guards approached the man and began placing countless explosive tags all over his body, covering his rotting prison clothes and the chains around him in paper.

Ibiki watched cautiously with a glare as all this occurred from the large door leading into the room. He growled in anger as several more chains were attached to the cart and the man was slowly and cautiously pulled toward the doorway. In Ibiki's opinion, this man should never have been allowed to leave his cell. The very fact that the prison jury was even _considering_ allowing this man to go on parole with twenty consecutive life sentences was appalling.

The very fact that the man was allowed for consideration could only be possible for one reason, one that gave Ibiki murderous impulses of his own: Most likely, the entire prison judicial system had been bribed by some unknown man, desirous of this man's abilities. The very thought of allowing a threat to society out into the world again simply for the sake of money made Ibiki's blood boil.

Ibiki glared in rage at the man as the procession of guards slowly led the man through the doorway, and into another secured room. This one was a much smaller room, painted pure white, with a long table at the opposite side of the room. At the table sat the four-man prison jury, and to the right of the table was a young woman sitting behind a small table with a stenograph on top of it. Ibiki shot another death glare at the four at the long table, especially the two in the center, Homura and Koharu. If it weren't for the connections that those two had, this action would never have been considered.

The cart was stopped two meters from the long table, and the guards stepped back as a large metal cage was lowered over the man and the cart. As the cage thumped against the ground, another squad of guard approached and covered the bars of the cage with even more explosive tags. Ibiki growled as Homura leaned forward.

"Do you feel you have been rehabilitated?"

Ibiki smirked as the room sat in silence for several minutes. However, his smile disappeared and was once again replaced with anger as Koharu nodded toward the stenographer, who began typing rapidly, despite the silence. Homura called forward one of the guards, who was carrying a stack of release papers. With a quick motion, the papers were stamped with the word, "PAROLE."

Ibiki gritted his teeth in barely suppressed fury as the man was led out another door toward the exit. He pitied the poor bastards that were the target of this man's rescuer from this hellhole.

* * *

"Goddamn, this is the best fucking meal I've ever had," Kiba sighed happily, diving into his plate of pancakes. The three of them were sitting in a small booth at a coffee shop eating breakfast. Kiba glared at his two friends as they chuckled at his enthusiasm toward his meal.

"Hey, fuck you both," he said, pointing at the two of them. He looked around the shop, making sure no one was listening, before speaking quietly, "Yesterday was the craziest fucking day of my life. After getting set up into fighting nine men by myself, wiping out those bastards at the deli, then wasting that ass-wipe Kabuto and those scumbags at the parlor? This is the best fucking meal in my whole fucking life. So, laugh all you bastards want, if a dozen Sound come through those doors right now and mow me down, I want to have a full stomach when it happens."

"You're siphoning the spirit of Chouji and he's not even dead yet," Sasuke said, and Naruto barked in laughter. The three of them continued to eat and joke with each other until the waitress came and took their plates away. As the girl walked away, Naruto leaned forward in his seat toward Kiba.

"Hey, Kiba," he whispered, "I was wondering, you got any ideas on a target we can go after? I mean, to show Orochimaru we mean business. We don't want to go after the big guy right away, or all the other guys'll scramble to get away, right? So, I was thinking we need to go after the baddest fucker in the ranks, but not one of the top dogs, you know? What do you think, you got anybody?"

Kiba stared at Naruto for a moment in surprise. He knew that Naruto had some decent brains in him, but Sasuke was usually the guy that thought stuff like this up. He supposed that Naruto could have thought this up with Sasuke helping, but Sasuke had the same look of surprise that Kiba did. '_Guess heavy shit like what we're doing know brings out peoples' real potential. I wonder if I'll get badass doing this shit?_'

Kiba shook his head to collect his thought, before leaning forward as well, and crossing his fingers. "Okay, guys, since you guys are so eager to move on so quick, let's talk some business here. I do know this one sick fuck. He makes the ones we been doing look like altar boys."

Naruto and Sasuke both exchanged looks of worry. Kiba shivered slightly as the memories of the night came flooding back to him. He'd tried to forget what had happened that night, but in the line of work he was doing now, he supposed he'd have a lot more bad memories by the time he died.

"Worst night of my life when I met this guy…"

**

* * *

**

(Kiba's POV)

One of the guys under Orochimaru that passed orders around to me and Zaku and Dosu, Kodomaru, he came by once and tells me to give a ride to this guy, then help him with anything he needs after he's done with his job. Now I don't know what he means by job at this point, right? Could mean a lot of things in the Sound, you know, pay off a cop, remove evidence, smuggle shit into or out of the city, or the obvious one, kill somebody. So I'm like, whatever, sure, cause I want the climb the ladder and get power, right?

So I drive up to this house. The epitome of suburbia, this place. White painted house, perfectly cut grass, little white picket fence, all the shit like that. Guy's got a minivan, for fucks sake. I'm thinking, what is this guy, am I driving his kid to soccer practice or something. The guy comes out of the house and holy shit, man. I get chills down my spine just looking at the guy.

He's got just this messy mop of orange hair, and all sorts of fucking piercings. I don't even want to know how many piercings he had in places I couldn't even see. He's got the weird fucking coat on, this long jacket or some shit with really tall collars, and red clouds sewed on it, if you believe it. He's just got this blank look on his face, like he's not thinking about anything at all, he's just gonna fucking do his job and then wait for the next one and do nothing else.

But the thing that totally fucked with my head first time I see him, is his fucking eyes, man. Creepy as shit, just a pupil with a bunch of circles around it, like a chameleon or some shit like that. And he comes out of the house and he looks at me, and it's like, he could kill me without a second thought, dispose of my body, and no one would ever know what fucking happened ever. And it was like he knew it, but just didn't care, like he could do it to fucking anybody.

So he just walks over to the car, and get in, and I start driving, you know? I'm like totally fucking freaking out about this guy in my car, so I try to talk to him once, but he just stares ahead into nothing like I'm not even there and the car's just fucking driving itself. 25 fucking minute drive and it's just fucking absolute silence. This guy doesn't sigh, cough, sneeze. Shit if I wasn't driving, I would have looked to make sure he was fucking blinking.

Now, we get to this place I'm supposed to take him to and it's this house. It's bigger than his, but more run down. He just gets out of the car, no or words at all, just gets out and walks into the house. Now, I can't see inside the fucking house at all, so I get out of the car to eat some pocky, and I'm not standing there for like ten seconds and the guy walks out. He like motions for me to come inside the house with him and help him out with some shit. Now, I'm not about to get on this guy's bad side, so I'm acting like I'm all for it. With how fast he's in and out I'm thinking I just need to help him carry some kilos of weed out into the car, right?

So, I go in the house, and it's like, World War III in there. There's bodies piled everywhere. It's like that shit you guys took care of, some meeting or something like that of bad guys, all discussing business, and this guy went in there and cleaned house _by himself_. But there were more guys than what you guys took care of, there were like twelve dudes in there, all piled up across this living room. He even killed the family dog and cat, for fucks sake. And the freakiest thing is, I look over at the guy and he doesn't have a fucking scratch on him, he looks just like he did when he walked in, just a fucking blank look on his face. I mean, I could see him getting out of there without a hitch with like five or six guys, but this is just one dude. Fucking unbelievable, right?

So, then he pulls out this knife and I'm thinking he's about to waste me too, right then and there. But he just leans down and starts cutting the fuck out of the carpet, and rolls up one of the dead guys in it. So he gets me helping and next thing I know, the bodies are all piled up in a pyramid or some shit. Then he's all like, we need to get rid of the bodies, and I'm telling him, there's no fucking way all those bodies are gonna fit in my car, and he says everything's arranged.

So he picks up a body, and just walks out the back door, and I'm like rushing to follow him. And we get out there, and he leads me to this alley behind the house and there's this huge fucking dumpster or something in the alley, and he just tosses in the body in. So I do the same, right, and we go in and out and pile them all in the dumpster, including the dog and cat.

Then he like Houdini's this gas can out of nowhere and starts coating the bodies with it. He sets all the shit on fire and just leans back and fucking watches them burn. So by now, I'm like just keeping the fuck to myself, cause I know that if I screw with him, I'll be next one in the dumpster. He's probably standing there to make sure they're all gone. And we're just watching all the stuff burn, and man there's nothing in hell that sucks as much as watching a dozen bodies burn up into nothing, and just standing there and not being able to walk away.

So, after all the shit's done burning and he's happy with it or whatever, he just turns to me and invites me to his house for fucking poker. Tells me he gets a game on with some guys he knows, and his wife cooks them barbeque, and they just hang out and shit. Acts like we're just hanging out in a bar or something, not like the fucking blank face he had earlier, just a total change in everything about him. So, I'm agreeing and shit, and I ask what his buddies do, and he tells me he doesn't have a fucking clue himself. Just a bunch of killers or rapists or some shit just get together once a week for poker and burgers.

After that, we both head out to leave, and we go through the house, and it's like we weren't even fucking there. The only change was the room the guys were in now had like hardwood floors instead of carpet. This was like the finisher for my total freak-out over this guy. He wastes this army of guys by himself, without a scratch, removes all evidence that anything even fucking happened, then goes and hangs with a bunch of other fucking monsters like him.

I fucking had nightmares for weeks after that night.

* * *

Kiba stared blankly at the table as the three sat in silence. "Worst day of my life, man," he said quietly.

"Well, I'm sold," he heard Naruto say.

"Yeah, sure," Sasuke agreed.

Kiba looked up and stared at the two in shock. '_Just like that? No questions, no second thoughts, just let's go in and kill the guy? Are these two nuts?_'

"Don't worry, Kiba," Sasuke said, leaning over and patting him on the shoulder. "We'll do this guy right and you'll feel a lot better."

* * *

A/N

Only 4 chapters left. Yay.

I have to admit, writing for Kiba in first person was fun. It was a lot easier to just write what came naturally in my head then trying from third person. Can you guess who the mysterious man's poker buddies are?

So, I've decided, after this fic, I'm for sure doing a Naruto AU western fic. Trying to go for full originality points on it too, not this mimic a movie thing I did here.

By the by, if you think my writing has improved over the course of the story, please write a review telling me so. I'd like to think I'm getting better.

R&R, pleeeeeeze!


	11. Poker Game Massacre

_Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Boondock Saints belongs to Franchise Pictures._

**Poker Game Massacre**

Kakashi groaned and rubbed his eyes as a throbbing migraine pounded in his head. It was Saturday, and it had been over four days since the Sin Bin incident. He'd been forced out of bed earlier that day to reinvestigate the three crime scenes over the last week, in hopes of finding something new to work with, and had hoped to be home in the afternoon for a good long nap after such a long and tiring week. However, it seemed like he wouldn't have any such luck like that for a while.

He'd been called in to the suburbs of Konoha, to investigate a murder in the late afternoon. When he'd received the call, he'd thought it would be just a regular 'wife caught with best friend and killed' murder or something like that. But life just wouldn't let it be that simple would it? When he'd arrived, he'd found another mass murder, like the once at the St. Minato Hotel, but with seven men instead of nine. All the men had been found in the criminal database as having over a dozen felonies each. The most gruesome death of them all had been a man beaten to death, the man having been found as being an associate of the Sound Mob, and a suspect in over two hundred murders, but never convicted.

While only one of the men had been beaten rather that hit with a kunai, they all had been killed in the same room. This would not have been strange in itself, if it weren't for the scene in the front of the house. Most of the front of the house and lawn was covered in shuriken, and across the street were dozens of kunai and shuriken as well. The entire front stoop of the house had been coated in blood, and there were several splatters of blood across the street. However, much to the frustration of Kakashi and the other detectives, none of the samples were registering successfully in the database.

At the moment, Kakashi was standing with Asuma, Ebisu, and Sai in the middle of the front lawn. Asuma was reading off a list of felonies the men had committed, and had spent the last five minutes rambling off the list the man beaten to death had managed to accumulate. Ebisu was begrudgingly holding a box of donuts, which he had been forced to retrieve after making a 'huge fucking guy' comment at the sight of the beaten man. Sai was sitting on the balls of his feet in front of them and slowly observing the carnage in front of the house.

Kakashi continued to rub his temples and Asuma continued to read off felonies, as Sai stood and sauntered over to the street, kneeling down again and circling some blood stains on the pavement. He stood once again and walked up the front sidewalk up to the house and observed the front porch again, before turning quickly to the three detectives and walking up to them. Kakashi quickly stopped rubbing his temple and Asuma set down the report sheet as the three stared intently at Sai, waiting for his report.

"Okay," Sai sighed quietly. "Here's what happened. The killers, probably three of them again, waited in a parked car down the street for the family's kid to leave."

* * *

Naruto fidgeted impatiently in his seat as he, Sasuke and Kiba watched the front of the house. They'd been sitting in the car patiently for almost four hours now, and the car was getting really hot in the midday sun. Under regular circumstances, they'd already be in there right now, taking down everyone in the fucking pool hall the killer guy had. But he and Sasuke had come to an agreement that if they were going to take this guy out, they sure as hell weren't going to be doing it in front of his kid.

The three of them were currently riding in a small van that Kiba had managed to… acquire from Zaku's house, since he knew where Zaku kept his keys. Lucky for them, Zaku had ridden with Dosu to the deli that day. The three of them had spent the last several hours sharpening and loading their weapons as they took shifts keeping watch on the front of the house.

They'd been watching this place closely for the last few days now, trying to figure out how they were going to pull off something like this with a guy like the one Kiba talked about waiting for them. They'd learned quickly that the location that all the men hung out in was a pool house behind the house. However, they couldn't go in through the side gates because the building had two windows giving the occupants a clear view of almost the entire yard, except the main house itself. If Naruto, Sasuke and Kiba wanted the element of surprise, they'd need to go through the main house; but how would they get in through there. The second day of watching the house, they'd found their way in. The man's kid had a habit of leaving the garage door slightly open when he went out to visit friend's or went to the arcade or whatever he did. This gave them their way into the house, without alerting their targets.

The rest of the week had been spent trying to find out what defenses the man had set up at his house to dissuade people from trying to get close to him. Sasuke had feigned being a roof shingler early on the third day to get a bird's-eye-view of the backyard, and had come back with some disturbing news. It seemed that the pool hall itself had its own 'moat' of sorts. The front (and only) door had completely separated, walled-in area in front of it, with a large iron door and keypad blocking off the area from the outside. That meant that if they wanted to go in the front, they'd need to force the man's wife to type the code for them.

Naruto sighed in remorse. He really didn't want to hold a woman hostage. He'd always been taught to treat women with kindness and respect, so the concept was naturally intrusive to his regular behavior. However, Kiba had managed to lower his guilt by reminding him that the woman probably had some idea of the man's line of work if she'd allowed such powerful protection to only one side building of the house rather than the whole thing. This had made Naruto feel a little better, but he still disliked the idea, and would only go along with it if Sasuke or Kiba did the threatening themselves.

Naruto's attention perked up as a flash of motion caught his eye. He turned his head quickly back to the man's house and spotted and young, blue-haired boy biking energetically out of the driveway. Naruto turned a quick look to the house to make sure the garage door was slightly open before tapping Sasuke and Kiba on the shoulders excitedly. "Okay! There he goes!"

As the three of them piled out of the car, Naruto grabbed a duffel bag carrying the three of their masks and gloves. He turned with a grin to his two partners. "Okay, gentlemen. Are we ready to bring this man into the light?"

Sasuke smirked and patted Naruto's shoulder as the three started walking toward the house. "A-fucking-men!" he said eagerly.

"This is so fucking cool!" Kiba said, a huge grin covering his face.

* * *

"They went in through the garage. The kid says he leaves it open when he takes his bike out."

* * *

As the three walked up the front driveway, Kiba quickly opened the garage door all the way and the three strode inside. Kiba quickly closed the door behind them as Naruto dropped the duffel and quickly zipped it open. The three dove their hands into the bag and pulled out their masks and gloves and quickly put them on, covering their faces and hands. They each reached towards their weapons holsters and pulled out one of their preferred weapons. They turned and nodded to each other, and quickly made their way over to the door into the house.

Sasuke quickly took the lead and opened the door, holding his shuriken at the ready in case of an ambush. When nothing made a sound in the house, he quickly strode into the house, shooting glances left and right for any person in the rooms he passed. As the three of them slid through the living room, Sasuke caught sight of motion through a large entryway into the house's kitchen and held up his hand to stop the three of them. He craned his head around the corner and noted a shapely body in a dark purple shirt, heavy camo pants, and tall steel-toed boots. The body (Sasuke assumed it was female) was topped off with blue hair, held back with a small paper flower probably made by the son. The man's wife, just the person they were looking for.

* * *

"Now, the first thing they do is go after the wife. She's the gatekeeper of the pool house and the only person that knows the code inside, so they needed her to open the door for them, so they took her hostage and forced her to open the door."

* * *

Sasuke motioned to Kiba, who nodded and quickly swept forward into the kitchen, charging the woman with shuriken in hand. Kiba had been chosen out of him and Sasuke for holding the woman hostage, since he was more reserved about doing so, like Naruto was. Kiba had no problem doing it, much to Sasuke's annoyance and frustration. Hearing the rush of motion, the woman turned with a comforting look on her face, most likely believing Kiba to be her husband or one of his friends. Her face turned to a look of shock at the appearance of three men in black masks, and Sasuke sighed in relief, believing the initial shock would be enough for Kiba to get a hold of her without struggle.

Sasuke believed wrong. The woman got over her shock in an instant and quickly assumed an advanced martial arts stance, which made Sasuke gape in shock. She'd obviously been prepared for an eventuality like this. Kiba, however, didn't recognize the position, and continued to charge, despite the shouted warning from Sasuke. Kiba lunged at the woman, only to grasp nothing but air as the woman sidestepped nimbly and swung an open palm at Kiba's head, striking him on the side of the head and sending him flying against the refrigerator. Sasuke and Naruto gaped in shock as Kiba tumbled to the floor limply. Their attention shifted as the woman turned towards them and shifted to an altered style of the stance, most likely to deal with multiple attackers.

'_Well, crap_,' Sasuke thought bleakly. He glanced at Naruto, who shook his head and gave him an adamant glare. He wasn't changing his decision on attacking the woman. '_Well, fine then_.'

Sasuke turned back toward the woman and stepped forward to try and get control of the woman. As the woman lunged forward, her palm shooting forward out in a piercing strike, and Sasuke tilted his body forward, allowing the blow to fly harmlessly over his head. He shot out his own arm in the process, allowing it to wrap around the woman's arm and twisting. The motion bent the woman's arm sideways, twisting her body and interrupting her strike, and dropping her to her knees, with Sasuke holding her arm behind her back. The woman twisted her other arm in a strike at Sasuke's stomach, however, it was caught in Sasuke's own grip and pinned against her back as well.

Sasuke sighed in relief as the woman struggled mildly in vain in Sasuke's grasp. He really hadn't expected something like this to happen. His and the woman's attention turned toward the fridge at the sound of a groan, and Kiba slowly sat up against cabinet.

"Ow, what the fuck…" Kiba said, wincing as he touched his forehead. He caught sight of Sasuke holding the woman hostage, and his eyes widened in recognition and rage. "Oh, jeez! You fucking bitch!"

_Crack_! The woman's leg shot out from under her in a surprising display of flexibility and a steel-toed boot caught Kiba in the face, slamming him against the cabinets and cracking the door of the doors. Sasuke frowned and shook his head in frustration.

'_Fucking moron_…'

* * *

Naruto chuckled slightly as Kiba quickly dragged the woman through the back yard of the house. The woman been subsequently bound thoroughly, both hands tied tightly behind her back with a length of rope, and half a roll of duct tape restraining her legs. She had been gagged with a towel to keep her quiet, but Kiba had added an extra layer of duct tape to top it off after he'd almost lost a finger to the woman while trying to get the towel in her mouth. Naruto snickered again as he heard Kiba grumble something about a rabies shot.

As the four of them approached the door, Kiba dragged the woman to her feet and threw her against the wall surrounding the pool hall. He held up a shuriken to the woman's throat, allowing the blade to cut her a little and let some blood flow down her neck.

"Don't fuck with me right lady," he hissed angrily. "If you open this fucking door, I can think of thousands of worse things to do to you than kill you." The woman grunted defiantly behind the gag and tried to throw her body at Kiba to injure him some more, but Kiba just threw her back to the ground. "Now listen, bitch," Kiba said hoarsely. "You have two choices right now. Either you open the door right now and you live, or we can wait until that kid of your gets back and we can use him to change your mind."

Naruto glared at Kiba angrily as the defiance in the woman's eyes was slowly replaced with a look of fear as she realized that she was in no position to negotiate. She stopped struggling and Kiba lifted her to her feet again cautiously. He quickly cut the binds on her hands and she slowly punched in the numbers to the door. Kiba grinned excitedly as the locks on the door clicked open, but reeled in surprise as the woman spun swiftly on her feet, fists raised in anger.

_Crack_!

_Thwack_.

* * *

"The wife says she doesn't know what happened after she hit the code. She remembers trying to attack the men and going down. But, judging by the bruise on her neck, I think what they did was knock her out with a quick blow to the spine."

* * *

In the small courtyard between the locked gate and the pool hall, Naruto chuckled merrily as Kiba rubbed his jaw. In just ten minutes, Kiba had been karate chopped, kicked, bitten, and punched. In Naruto's opinion, for his cruelty, he probably deserved it all, but Naruto figured he'd be agitated as well if he'd been beaten up by someone several times and he couldn't strike back fairly.

"You're lucky I knocked her out," Sasuke said to Kiba with a smile. "She might have given you two black eyes to match if I hadn't."

"You could have knocked her out sooner," Kiba grumbled. He'd been slightly humbled by his beating, and seemed remorseful now that the woman was unconscious. "I know you could've beaten her to the punch, if you wanted to, jackass."

"True," Naruto added in. "But how often do we get the chance to get a story about how you got beat up by a woman that was tied up nearly head-to-toe? This story's never gonna get old!"

"You both suck…" Kiba huffed, causing the two brothers to chuckle quietly.

"Ready boys?" Sasuke asked quietly. He reached toward the door into the pool hall, but reeled as his hand was slapped by Kiba. "Ouch, hey. What the fuck, man?"

"Wait wait wait!" Kiba hissed quietly. "I forgot to mention this. The psychopath told me that the door to the pool hall can only be opened from the inside!"

Naruto and Sasuke gaped at their friend for a moment, before they both reached forward and smacked him in the head. "Way to think ahead, genius!" Naruto whispered hoarsely.

"Whatever," Sasuke said, stepping up to the door. "This just makes things funnier." He raised his free hand up and knocked loudly, causing Naruto and Kiba to jump in surprise and reach for their weapons.

* * *

"Now the guy knows a friend is coming to the game. And they know that this door can only be opened from the inside. So they wait. And when that door opens, man…"

* * *

The three of them stood patiently outside for several seconds, until the doorknob began to turn. Reacting quickly, Naruto shot his foot out and kicked the door in, and the three rushed into the room. Naruto stood between the two others, Kiba on his left, Sasuke on the right, as they held their weapons at the ready and observed the room.

Several couches littered the room, creating a horseshoe shape around the center of the room, opposite a pool table on the left side of the room, where a long-haired blonde man and a young man in a mask stood with pool cues in their hands. Behind the far couch was a large poker table and bar, where a young man with white hair sat holding a drink, across from an older man with dark skin that was shuffling through poker chips. On the farthest couch was a man with long black hair and lines under his eyes reclining comfortably by himself and swirling a drink in his hands. And right in front of them was a very surprised looking man with a sickly green complexion.

At the sound of the door being kicked in, the men were all looking at the three masked men in the doorway, all veering weapons at the ready. A look of general shock, confusion, and fear surrounded the room, as Kiba looked at the faces of the men.

"All of them," he whispered quietly.

* * *

"Nobody was ready for it. Devastation and panic! This was like shooting fish in a fucking barrel!"

* * *

All at once, the three men in the doorway began throwing weapons across the room. The sickly man directly in front of the door fell dead instantly as two shuriken and a kunai lodged themselves in his chest and face, respectively. At the sight of their falling fellow poker player, the remaining men all began to stand, reaching for their weapon holsters in hopes of striking back against the unknown assailants.

As the older man and the white-haired man stood to fight back against the onslaught of shuriken and kunai, Naruto both turned his attention on them. Several kunai found themselves tearing through the worn skin of the older man and throwing his body against a large mirror behind him and shattering it as the man crumpled to the floor. Several more struck the white-haired man and knocked him over the bar as he turned to throw several kunai back to the three in the doorway.

Sasuke's attention had focused on the man with black hair, standing up from the couch. As several shuriken flew over the falling body of the sickly man, the man was able to dodge the first several, despite still in the motion of rising. However, a low-flying shuriken caught the man's ankle and sent him sprawling backwards back onto the couch, followed by several more which pierced his chest and sent the man sprawling across the long couch.

* * *

"Now these guys, the blonde guy and the one with the orange mask, they dove under the table. The trajectory on the shuriken show they came from straight across. So this means one of our shooters dropped to his knees, right here against the other wall, and just let 'em fly."

* * *

Kiba's eyes turned as the two men on the right side of the room scrabbled under the pool table they had been playing at. Instinctively, Kiba strode forward several paces, and slid his feet out from underneath himself and dropped to his knees. As the two men under the pool table fumbled with their weapons, they stared at him in shock and fear as he looked straight at them and reached for his holsters. A small grin of wicked satisfaction crept across his face in twisted delight at the fear of the men.

In one swift motion, two shuriken flew from his hands and skimmed the carpet as though they were hovering over the floor. With a satisfying splatter, one kunai impaled itself in the blonde man's throat while the second lodged itself in the single eyehole of the other man's mask. Kiba's grin widened as the two reached their hands up in pain and shock, and continued to throw more shuriken. Three more shuriken impaled themselves in each man as they raised their hands in an attempt to protect themselves.

Kiba giggled in pleasure as the two twitched and laid slack against the floor and stopped moving, before standing up and surveying the carnage. As he scanned the room, he chuckled as he heard Naruto and Sasuke shouting praises and insults between themselves at their own handiworks spread across the room.

"Jeez, you suck, Sasuke. Only one guy? Even Kiba killed two on his own."

"Screw you, Dobe. That guy was fucking fast. And going after an old guy and a fucking prettyboy? Way to set the standards there."

"Whatever, teme. Try and pull your weight next time, alright?"

As the two continued arguing, Kiba's eyes shot open in fear as he pulled off his mask and began to run around the room, checking the faces of the men lying around the room. His breath grew strained as he began hyperventilating. "Shit! Shit! He ain't here," he whimpered in fear.

"What the fuck do you mean?" Naruto asked, turning to Kiba in confusion.

"I mean he ain't here!" Kiba yelled back, panic creeping into his voice. "The fucking guy we came here for, he ain't fucking here!"

"Look again for fuck sake!" Sasuke yelled back, fear showing in his face as well. He didn't want to have this guy getting the jump on them after this shit.

"I know what the fuck he looks like!" Kiba roared.

* * *

"Now, something went wrong. Right here."

* * *

"Shit!" Sasuke yelled suddenly, pointing behind Kiba. "Behind you!"

Kiba's head turned in fear as a loud creak echoed through the room and the man with the piercings strode through a door, which looked like it connected to the bathroom. The man's creepy eyes stared intently at Kiba, while he raised his right arm, which carried a twisted and bent piece of metal. Kiba reached for his holster in panic and turned to attack the man, but with a quick swing, the man struck Kiba's wrist, causing him to yelp in pain as the shuriken flew harmlessly to the floor.

In an effort to save himself, Kiba threw out his other arm and tossed a kunai wildly toward the man. The man grunted in pain as the shuriken miraculously lodged itself in the man's abdomen, causing him to lean against the wall to support himself. As he looked up at Kiba, a sudden look of realization spread across his face, and Kiba gasped in shock, reaching up to touch his own face, remembering that he had taken off his mask.

Kiba screamed in fright as a look of anger spread across the man's face, and he lunged forward, clutching Kiba by the throat and dragging him to the floor. As the man climbed on top of Kiba and tightened his grip, Kiba swung his undamaged fist at the man's face, causing the man's grip to loosen. Kiba took his opportunity to get his own hand under the man's, allowing him to breath. However, the man squeezed harder as Kiba continued to swing at the man's face.

As the struggle continued, Kiba turned to Naruto and Sasuke, gasping for air and looking for aid. To his surprise, he found Sasuke holding back Naruto, who was struggling to get free and help Kiba. Kiba stared in disbelief at Sasuke, who continued to hold Naruto.

"Don't do it Naruto! Let him do it himself! He's got to, or he won't be able to keep up!"

"Fuck it!" Naruto said, continuing to struggle. "C'mon Kiba! Kill that bastard!"

"Help me you assholes! He's gonna fucking kill me!" Kiba hissed out, despite his lack of air. Tears began to slide down his face as the man continued to strangle him. "I don't wanna die!"

* * *

"Now, one of these guys is a real sicko. The man with the destroyed face? He knew this man. He wanted him to suffer, to feel every second of a painful death. This guy is one bad motherfucker."

* * *

Naruto struggled continuously against Sasuke's firm grip, desperately trying to get to Kiba, who still struggled with the man with the piercings. He knew in his head that Sasuke was right to stop him; that Kiba had to prove that he had what it took to help them in their mission to wipe the world clean of evil. However, in his heart he still held Kiba as one of his closest friends, despite his vices. He'd played pranks with Kiba since they were kids, and he didn't want his old accomplice to die.

His struggles slowed a bit as he saw Kiba slowly pulling the man's hands away from his throat, and Sasuke released him as Kiba attempted to get the upper hand in the struggle. Naruto's attention turned momentarily toward his left as a groan echoed from the couch. He saw the black-haired man that was sprawled over the couch slowly regaining consciousness and trying to get to his feet. Naruto heard Sasuke growl in frustration and turn to walk over to the man.

Naruto's eyes widened in opportunity. With Sasuke's attention turned toward the man on the couch, Naruto quickly turned to the pool table behind him and picked up one of the pool balls. He turned back to Kiba, who looked at him pleadingly under the man's grip, and Naruto grinned and nodded silently. With a slow, smooth motion, he silently rolled to the ball over to Kiba, who slammed his hand down on the ball and swung it up, cracking it into the man's temple.

Naruto glanced over quickly to Sasuke and smirked to see his attention still on the black-haired man. Naruto winced slightly as Sasuke held a shuriken high over his head and slammed it into the man's chest. He looked back at Kiba, who had thrown the man against one of the other couches and was beating him mercilessly in the face with the pool ball in his hand. He was breathing loudly with each swing and screaming "You sick fuck!" in rhythm.

Naruto raised an eyebrow as Sasuke turned away from the man on the couch and walked back over to the pool table, watching Kiba with surprised eyes. He chuckled slightly though, which caused Kiba to stop the beating and twist his head toward Sasuke, rage on his face and in his eyes. Kiba quickly turned, and charged Sasuke, screaming at him. Sasuke frowned in annoyance as Kiba's exhausted swings passed him harmlessly as he dodged the blows nimbly, before grabbing Kiba by the scruff of his collar and slamming his onto the pool table.

Sasuke leaned over the enraged man, and smirked as Kiba caught his breath on the table. "Nicely done, Kiba. You did good."

As subtly as he could manage, Naruto slid his hand under the hand that Kiba had the pool ball in and pulled it away from him. As Sasuke stepped back away from the table to let Kiba up and inspect the man's body, Naruto quickly knelt and wiped the blood on the back of one of the men under the pool table. He stood up immediately as Sasuke grumbled in frustration while looking at the man's wounds and Naruto quickly planted the pool ball back on the table.

As Sasuke turned and raised an eyebrow at Kiba and Naruto. Kiba continued to glare at Sasuke, while Naruto grinned and shrugged. "He hits hard, doesn't he? Good thing he killed the guy, ain't it?"

Sasuke stared between the two for another moment before shaking his head in frustration. "Whatever."

* * *

Sai stood in front of the beaten man and motioned toward his face. "I've never seen wounds like these before, but whatever he used on this guy, it was a blunt object and they took it with them." As he turned to walk out of the room, Sai's gaze lingered on the pool table and the pool balls. He walked quickly over and picked up one of the balls, and turned holding up the ball so both it and the man's face were beside each other. He turned the ball over in his hands for a moment, before shaking his head and dropping the ball back on the table. "Nah, couldn't be."

* * *

Sasuke smirked in satisfaction as he stepped over the limp body of the man's wife. The plan had gone off exactly as he had expected it to. Well, not _exactly_ like it. Kiba's face was a bit messy, the wife had to be completely hogtied before she would cooperate, Kiba nearly died via strangulation courtesy of the man they'd come after, and Sasuke had only managed to kill one out of the seven intended targets. Not to mention he'd have to question Naruto later on how exactly Kiba had managed to inflict such heavy blows on the piercing man.

However, the finish had been about what he'd thought. All the men were dead, the wife and child were (relatively) unharmed, Kiba was grumbling about something stupid that Sasuke would never talk about again after they left, and finally, much to Sasuke's delight, they'd managed to score quite a hefty sum of poker money from the men in the room. Enough to keep the three of them going for another several months if they used it right. Sasuke glanced over and grinned at a glowering Kiba, who toted two duffel bags full of money under each arm.

"Hey, why the fuck do I have to carry this?" Kiba growled as Sasuke looked at him.

"You're the rookie here, Kiba," Sasuke replied, shrugging. "So you get to go through hazing."

"Hey, fuck you!" Kiba barked at Sasuke. "I was there at the Hotel the same night as you guys. This should go based on skill."

"Right, then, but I'm still better than you, you dumbass." Sasuke laughed as the three of them walked back through the houses kitchen, through to the front door.

"Not this time, asshole," Kiba chuckled. "I got three guys this time. You only got one."

"I think he's got you there," Naruto laughed.

"Hey, fuck you both," Sasuke huffed. "That guy was strong as hell."

"Whatever, jackass," Kiba chuckled. "You're getting the fucking bags next time."

* * *

Sai stood in the middle of the front lawn, clothes disheveled and hair tousled in his frenzy to decipher the mysterious slaughter of seven men. "They exited out the front door. And they had no fucking idea what they were in for."

* * *

Sasuke chuckled to himself as Naruto and Kiba began bickering over after-mission-bitch-duty ramifications and allowances. They'd forget about it the next time they went after somebody and just do what they did this time: make the first person who picked up the money carry it around. It would basically devolve into a "you touched it last" game.

As Sasuke followed the two out the door, he casually glanced across the street to check and see if there had been enough of a commotion to gather a crowd, or if the son was around. His gaze froze on the car across the street, and he instinctively reached forward and grabbed Kiba's collar, pulling him back. Naruto stopped as well, since he was just a step behind Kiba due to the small walkway of the front porch.

* * *

"Now they are staring down at least six guys with kunai drawn. It was a fucking ambush."

* * *

Across the street a man with long white hair leaned against a small car that was parked on the side of the road. The man was wearing sunglasses and a loose fitting green and red outfit. He had red tattoo lines going from underneath his eyes to under his chin. Sasuke spotted several bulges in his clothes, suggesting that the man was carrying kunai or shuriken, Sasuke couldn't tell which yet.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed as the man glanced up from the sidewalk. Sasuke saw his eyes dart between the three of them for a moment under the sunglasses, before they rested on Kiba, who gaped back in confusion. The man gave a satisfied nod and reached into his pocket. Sasuke tensed, reaching for his shuriken, but relaxed slightly as the man pulled out a small white balloon, filled slightly with liquid. Sasuke watched in confusion as the man held the balloon over the sidewalk and pulled out a needle.

Sasuke winced in surprise as the man punctured the balloon with the needle, and blood sprayed out of the balloon onto the street. As the balloon emptied, the man shook the balloon around, allowing the blood to spatter all over the sidewalk. Sasuke saw Kiba and Naruto tense up as well as the man slid the emptied balloon back into a pocket of his coat, and looked back up at the three.

Suddenly, the man place himself in an offensive stance and threw open his coat, revealing a dozen kunai packs lining a flak jacket under his coat. Each pack contained a different style or brand of kunai, and each was stitched directly into the vest, side by side for ease of access. Instantly, Sasuke and Naruto's hands shot to their own holsters as Kiba gaped stupidly. The man reached for his own weapons as well, but glanced up and looked back and forth between Sasuke and Naruto. He smirked and shook his head, and Sasuke and Naruto glared at him.

* * *

"And this was a fucking bomb dropping! For a few seconds this place was Armageddon!"

* * *

All at once, Sasuke, Naruto and the man across the street began assaulting each other. Shuriken and kunai tore through the thin metal of the car behind the man as they whizzed by, and kunai splintered the wood behind the three men on the doorstep. The three continued to throw projectiles at each other as Kiba dropped to his knees in fright, grapping for his own shuriken in the chaos.

Sasuke continued throwing, even as his shot somehow continued to miss the man completely. It was impossible! There was no way he could be missing all these shots! Yet the man calmly continued to return fire on the three men on the doorstep, as though they weren't attacking him at all. As the man's first kunai holsters emptied, he quickly adjusted his stance so he could pull kunai from another pair of holsters attached to his vest.

Sasuke faltered for a moment as he heard Kiba cry out in pain, and Sasuke shot a quick glance over to see his friend dive into the bushes and continue throwing, while cradling a hand. Then Naruto cried out as well, clutching his shoulder, and sought shelter in the bushes next to Kiba. The man across the street slowly strode to the right, still throwing kunai, in hopes of getting a better angle at Naruto and Kiba, while continuing his assault on Sasuke.

But Sasuke refused to budge from his spot, continuing to throw his shuriken at the man, pelting the houses across the street as the man continued his movement to Sasuke's left. The two continued to pelt each other with their varied weapons, each increasing their speed as desperation to injure the other set in. Sasuke's arms dissolved into black blurs as kunai and shuriken clashed and shattered on impact as they collided with each other between the two of them. Sasuke felt a flash of panic as he felt his holster become emptier. With one last effort, he threw his last shuriken with all his might.

The shuriken collided with a kunai on its path toward the man across the street, and the kunai shattered, spraying metal shrapnel across the yard as the shuriken continued its path. The man's eyebrows raised in surprise as the shuriken tore through his right arm, and he reeled in pain as blood sprayed into the grass behind him. Sasuke smirked for a moment in silent victory, before falling to his knees in pain as one of the man's stray kunai tore through his left leg.

Sasuke watched as the man looked down at the sidewalk, as blood poured down. "No…" he heard the man say, panic in his voice. "No. NO!" Sasuke dived into bushes with Naruto and Kiba as the man began assaulting them again, while running away from the house down the street. As the kunai stopped coming, Naruto and Sasuke quickly leapt to their feet.

"Oh shit!" Naruto yelled, looking at the blood splatter on the porch. "Quick, spray the shit or they'll know it was us!"

"Oh God!" Kiba cried in pain, pulling himself up from the bushes. "He cut my finger!"

"What?!"

"He cut my finger off! He cut my fucking finger off!"

"Well find it!" Sasuke yelled, digging through a duffel bag and pulling out a spray bottle. He began spraying the blood on the porch as he yelled at Kiba. "They'll get us if you don't fucking find it!"

"I can't!" Kiba whimpered, digging through the bushes. "There's too many fucking plants!"

"Shit!" Sasuke threw the bottle back in the bag as he finished spraying the blood. "Fucking grab the bags and run! Let's get out of here before anybody comes out of one of the houses!"

Naruto grabbed the duffels full of money as Kiba nursed his hand, and the three made a break for their car. Sasuke turned once more in the direction the mysterious man had gone before shaking his head in anger.

"Shit…"

* * *

Sai huffed in exhaustion on the front lawn of the house. With each explanation and discovery he'd explained to the three detectives on the force, he'd grown more frenzied and excited. This men, whoever they were, were completely destroying his sanity with their methods! Their fucking methods! They should be in jail by now, but Sai couldn't get shit on these guys! They were too good, or too lucky.

"What if it was just one guy with six different types of kunai?"

Sai growled in fury and stood upright and shook his head in disgust. He turned his head to glare at Ebisu, who stepped back in fear at the look on his face. "Why don't you let me do the thinking, huh, genius?" he growled. Turning to the forensics expert on the porch, he roared again, "And what is taking so long with those blood samples?"

The young woman on the front porch jumped in fright at his sudden outburst. The woman had short black hair and black eyes, and fidgeted nervously as Sai stomped up to the porch. "I-I can't get a good sample. There is variable here I'm not seeing."

Sai fumed as he approached the splatter on the wall, before blinking in surprise as a foreign scent filled his sinuses. He stepped closer to the blood stain and inhaled deeply. He stood still for a moment before bursting out in depraved laughter. "Ammonia! They used ammonia… none of this shit is any good... Fuck!"

The three detectives winced at Sai's outburst, as he turned in rage and ranted. "You know what this means?! Even if we get suspects in this case, we got nothing… Nothing!" The three looked nervously between each other as Sai began kicking and tearing destructively through the bushes. "Who the fuck are they?! I've never seen any-fucking-thing like this in my whole fucking life! Who the fuck are they?!"

With one last kick, Sai's balance failed him and he fell to the ground in exhaustion as the three detectives looked on worriedly. Sai breathed heavily, while whimpering. This case seemed so hopeless! How the hell were these guys so good, and he'd never even heard of someone like this? It was impossible for somebody like these guys to just appear out of nowhere…

Sai realized that he had clenched his eyes shut in frustration as he sat on the ground, and opened them slowly in his fatigue. Immediately, his eyes shot open as they spotted something under one of the bushes. He glanced quickly over to the three detectives, who were talking nervously amongst themselves, and pulled out a small plastic bag. He couldn't let these guys get a hold on something like this. He had to find and confront these killers on his own.

He gingerly scooped up the finger in the bag and stuffed it in his coat pocket quickly, before rising to his feet. He strode quickly out of the bushes and past the three detectives. He only gave them a sideways glance as he passed, saying, "Tell me if anything shows up."

As he continued to walk to his car, he shook his head in discomfort as Asuma grumbled, "What? That's it?!"

* * *

The door to a small apartment burst open as three raving men stormed into the room, throwing several duffel bags onto the floor.

"Who the fuck was he, Kiba? I know you fucking know!"

"Fuck you! I told you I never saw him before!"

"Well he sure as fuck knew you!"

"Fuck you both! You ask me, he was aiming at you!"

"I saw what he did! He didn't fucking even think about going at us until he saw your fucking face!"

"Don't look at me! This asshole was the one that got in a fucking firefight with him!"

"Screw you!"

"And I saw how he looked at you fuckers too!"

"Shut up and talk!"

"I don't know shit about this guy!"

"Stupid fucker, got enemies you don't even know."

"Screw you! You guys were the ones that decided to start wasting people, don't look at me!"

"Oh, and I suppose you were just gonna chat with those guys at the Hotel?"

"Fuck you both! Someone get me a fucking bandage so I don't fucking bleed to death here!"

"Ungrateful fuck."

* * *

A/N

Lotsa language in this one. One of my favorite things about writing this one, I get to just let the cussing flow. It's fun.

So, I'm gonna try and release an intro to the Naruto-western fan fiction I'm rigging up in the next week or so. Look forward to it.

R&R plzkthxbai


	12. Work of the Lord

_Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Boondock Saints belongs to Franchise Pictures._

**Work of the Lord**

Naruto stared blankly at the television as Sasuke flipped through the channels. At the moment, Naruto was leaning lazily back in his chair at the new apartment the three of them had rented out. The sides of Naruto's mouth twitched into a smile for a moment as Kiba smacked Sasuke in the shoulder for lingering too long on some cooking show, to which Sasuke shot back that Kiba could use some pointers, since all that Kiba had in the place was instant ramen packets. Naruto didn't mind constant ramen, that was for sure, but he could tell Kiba and Sasuke were getting sick of it quick.

The new place they were in was pretty nice, Naruto had to admit, although he figured it was only like that now because the owner had cleaned it up. If they managed to keep up their… current line of work, it'd be trashed in a few weeks, tops. They were in a fairly comfortable kitchen at the moment, with a long counter stretching across two walls of the room, with two doors on the other walls; one leading to the entrance, and one to the living room. They'd been able to afford a better place by pooling their funds. The money from the Mist Mob and the poker game was pretty helpful, too, Naruto thought, smiling.

As Naruto reached for a soda on the table, he winced slightly. His arm still hurt from that kunai wound from a yesterday. After the three of them had cooled off after their initial argument last night about the man with white hair from yesterday, they'd been forced to tend to their own wounds, fearing being discovered by the police if they tried to go to any community hospitals. They'd been forced to cauterize themselves by heating the flat end of a kunai over the gas stove and burning the wounds closed.

Naruto winced slightly as he poked the slightly numbed wound. This kind of work would be infinitely easier if they knew someone who could and would be willing to fix them up without alerting the cops. Naruto furrowed his brows in thought. There was that girl Sasuke had dated a few months back, the one that dyed her hair pink. At least, he was pretty sure it was dyed. Sasuke just smirked in amusement every time Naruto brought it up and told him that she was natural. Frankly, Naruto didn't want to know how he was so certain. She might consider helping them, but she'd had to move away for a while to attend a bigger medical school. Naruto would talk about it with Sasuke later.

After they'd wrapped their wounds up to the best of their abilities, Naruto and Sasuke had grilled Kiba about the man that had attacked them yesterday. Kiba repeated himself over and over, saying that he had no idea who the man was, or who even send him. They'd forced Kiba to swear on the Inuzuka name that he had no clue at all of the man's identity. However, this didn't leave them much happier with the situation than before. If Kiba had no clue, that could mean anybody. A hitman from the Sound? The Mist? Some civilian like them, bent on revenge for a lost friend they'd killed? Without any hints as to the man's identity, all of them were on edge, constantly flicking their eyes to their door, expecting the man to burst through at any second.

Naruto's looked up in surprise as Sasuke gasped. He followed his brother's gaze to the TV, where Naruto gulped in sudden nervousness. A small news bulletin was scrolling slowly across the bottom of the screen, rattling of details of the three men's escapades over the last week and a half, and the _LATEST NEWS_ bar was filling in the general populace with new information on the group of men they'd knocked off yesterday. And right in the middle of the screen was a familiar face. "Sai," Naruto whispered quietly. "Shit."

"Yeah," Sasuke replied, nodding slightly. "Shit."

"What?" Kiba asked, turning to the two, and looking back at the TV. He thrust his thumb at the screen. "What, that guy?"

"That's the guy that got us off the hook with the 'Zabuza' thing," Naruto explained with a nervous chuckle.

"And he is one smart man," Sasuke added.

Kiba scoffed and chuckled in amusement. "Big deal. They got nothing."

"No, no," Sasuke said, shaking his head and pointing at the screen. "This guy is very sharp. If he hasn't figured us out yet, he will."

"You bet your ass he will," Naruto said, leaning forward in his chair and resting his head on his arms on the table.

Kiba looked between the two in disbelief, and the two nodded to him in glum approval. "Well," he said quietly, "I'd say that makes him a liability." Naruto shot a look at Sasuke, who shook his head again.

"He isn't to be touched."

"He's a good man," Naruto included.

Kiba gave a disbelieving look between the two, before groaning in disappointment. "Okay… whatever."

* * *

Sai whistled softly at his home computer terminal as light classical music wafted through the air from his stereo system. He hummed giddily as his computer beeped softly, hooking up with ROOT's computer crime network. He looked over to his right as the computer booted up the fingerprint identification system, and he smirked as he looked at the small pinky finger that still sat inside a small plastic bag. He hadn't had time to do this yesterday, since he was forced to give a press conference over the murder of the seven men over in suburbia, but now he had time, and excitement at discovery of the perpetrators filled his mind.

However happy he was that he finally had a solid lead on whoever had been pulling off these murders over the last couple weeks, his mind was mulling over an abundance of issues in his head as he gently pulled on two surgical gloves. Why had he taken the finger, and not told the other detectives about it? Why not hand it over? What was stopping him from doing the right thing?

His hand froze suddenly as he was lifting the finger up from the bag. The right thing? Was what he was doing really not the right thing? He was going against police and ROOT protocol by taking the finger, but was protocol really _the right thing_? Dozens of criminals were dead, wiped out, no longer a threat to society. The men behind countless criminal acts were being wiped out of Konoha, and they were still going. What they were doing was wrong… wasn't it?

Sai shook his head and cleared his mind of those thoughts. Such things could be considered as corruption in the police force, and Sai would have none of that. He was a professional, and he had to act like one. His personal thoughts, his _humanity_, came second to his job. He placed the deadening finger on a small image scanner he had next to the monitor and let the computer do the work, the print filtering through police records from across Fire Country. His mind flickered excitedly through the faces of the villains in Konoha, people believed to be regular assassins. Any second now, one of these faces would pop up, and Sai would send out a hunt for the man. Justice would be done.

Sai blinked in surprise as the finger found a match and a face flickered onto the screen. The man was long, shaggy brown hair and two fang tattoos on his face. "No. This is all wrong," he whispered to himself. "Kiba Inuzuka?" His eyes dove through the convictions. No murders, just caught bearing a weapon without a license and evading police. He didn't even assault the police officer that went after him. Sai eyes stopped on a small margin at the bottom of the page. '_Possible connections to the Sound Mafia – Delivery Boy (?)_'

Sai shook his head in disbelief, leaning back in his chair. A delivery boy for the mob? Not the most high-profile situation for a person to go nuts and kill off his employers, but unlikely. A set up for the boy, perhaps, causing him to turn on his employers? But what was the connection to the Mist Mafia?

Sai gasped in realization as a memory surfaced, from two weeks ago. He remembered he'd seen a face like that before, at the police station, for the two dead Mist men after St. Patrick's Day. Sai's hand flew for his phone, and quickly dialed in the number for the Konoha Police Department. After a couple rings, a soft-voiced receptionist answered.

"Yeah. Hinata, this is Sai," he said quickly into the phone. "Could you find me the visitor's list for the day the brothers, Naruto and Sasuke, were in and read me all the names?" The receptionist stuttered out a reply, and momentarily read off the names. After, several names, Sai heard Kiba's name over the phone.

"Okay," he said quickly, stopping the girl. "That's all I need to hear. Thank you." He hung up before the receptionist could respond, and leaned back again in his chair and sighed, allowing himself to fall into his own head in deep thought.

* * *

"Fuck deep thought," Sai slurred under his breath, before downing another shot of tequila.

After sever hours of thinking over the clues, he'd found that he couldn't do it anymore. The only logical conclusion he had managed to reach was that the other two murderers were the two brothers from the Mist scene two weeks ago. But those two had been good kids, and the scene was a sure thing for an act of self defense. Had this act tipped the boys over the edge into going into acts of… revenge? Righteousness? Were these boys acting on the primal thoughts that plagued every other person in the city, and decided to wipe the world clean of _bad men_? They certainly weren't doing it for revenge anymore, what with going after Sound Mafia men now.

In his disparity, Sai had become too frustrated with his thoughts, and allowed his feet to lead him to the nearest bar, which was, fortunately, a gay bar. Several men, most acting ungodly amounts more feminine than some of the women Sai'd met in ROOT, milled around the bar, shooting glares of disgust his way. Over the last hour, he'd managed to kill over a dozen shots of tequila, and it seemed that he was ticking off the bartender. Sai smirked wryly. He knew he was angry drunk, but right now he couldn't care less. As the bartender passed his spot at the bar, Sai motioned in an exaggerated manner to his empty shot glass, at which the bartender sighed and calmly tried to dissuade him.

"You've had quite a bit, Sai. Are you sure you…"

"Pour the drink, you fat fairy fuck!" Sai roared across the counter, making the bartender reel in shock. Several patrons gasped in hurt at Sai's outburst and glared at him angrily, while the bartender poured another drink for him in discontent. Sai scoffed at the looks he was receiving and downed the shot. He needed to be drunker with moral issues like this…

* * *

Kiba groaned as he stopped the small car, pulling up close to the curb. He really didn't want to stop now. Then he ran the risk of being seen in this butt-ugly car.

"Man, you suck at driving," Naruto mocked from the back seat.

"It's this fucking car!" Kiba barked back. "You'd think with his money, that fucker Kabuto could afford an automatic."

The car sat in front of the church that Naruto and Sasuke frequented, as the two brothers hopped out of the car. Personally, Kiba didn't mind giving the two a lift, but he glanced at the clock. 5:30. He yelled out the window at Naruto, "Hey! We gotta talk about this early morning church shit."

"It's not our fault," Naruto said with a grin. "We have to go early. We're on the _lamb_ now."

"You suck at jokes!" Kiba barked back as Naruto turned to catch up with Sasuke. Shaking his head in frustration, Kiba pulled away from the curb and drove down the street, pulling into the first parking spot he could find and leaning back into the chair. '_Might as well get some sleep while I can… I let those fuckers look for me when they're done_.'

As his mind drifted, Kiba's eyes glanced at the sign above the door in front of him. '_A fucking gay bar… Not a block from a catholic church… Is that funny? Man, I'm too tired to tell._' He chuckled slightly as an incredibly drunk man tumbled out of the door of the bar and face-planted on the sidewalk in front of the car. The man was a total wreck. What could've been an expensive suit was now a dirty mess with countless alcohol stains. As the man wobbled to his feet, Kiba caught a look at the man's face.

Kiba wasn't tired anymore. He was currently looking right at his, Naruto's and Sasuke's only police threat in the entire world. '_Sai. Shit_.' His heart froze as Sai's gaze flitted over the window of Kiba's car, before turning to the left. Kiba breathed a sigh of relief as Sai slowly stumbled down the street in the direction of the church. A light bulb lit up in Kiba's head as Sai stumbled away. He smirked and slowly got out of the car, reaching for his shuriken holster. What Sasuke and Naruto don't know won't hurt them.

_Are you sure about that?_

**Yeah! With this guy out of the way, me and the guys are home free!**

_But he isn't a bad man._

**But he's a threat!**

_So are you, but you don't see Naruto and Sasuke taking you out._

**I'm their friend!**

_And he's an officer of the law. He's only doing his job. His _legal_ job._

**But he could take us down!**

_And if Naruto and Sasuke find out that you killed a good man?_

Kiba froze. He hadn't thought of that. What if Naruto and Sasuke found out? There'd be a report for sure about the primary detective in the case getting killed, or just plain dying, and Kiba knew where the brothers' attention would turn if that happened. He didn't want to think about what would happen to him…

Kiba's eyes rose in surprise, however, as Sai began stumbling into the church that Sasuke and Naruto had gone in, and another idea appeared in Kiba's head. He followed closely behind the man into the church, hoping Sai would do what he expected him to. As he entered the church, Kiba scoured the narthex for a sign of the drunken man, before his head turned sharply as a loud snore filled the room. He turned to his right and grinned widely, spotting the church's confessional booth. It had three doors on a large wooden box; one for the priest in the middle and two on each side for anyone else. Kiba was pleased to hear the snoring coming from the leftmost box.

Kiba turned again as a priest with a long scar across his nose slowly walked over to the confessional and began unlocking the center box. Kiba quickly strode over to the booth, as the man finished unlocking the door and opened it quietly. With a quick shove, Kiba forced the priest into the booth, holding the man by the collar and holding a shuriken to the back of the man's throat. He released the man's collar for a moment to lock the small booth and forced the priest against the wall where Sai snored loudly.

Kiba turned back to the priest and whispered hoarsely into his ear, trying to disguise his voice a little. "You're gonna do what I say, got it?"

Despite the man's obvious fear, Kiba had to respect the man as he tried to calm himself. As the man's shaking stopped, he responded quietly to Kiba in a calm voice that Kiba wished he could've made in a situation like this. "Yes, fine."

Kiba calmed down a little at the man's bravery, and toned down the threat in his voice. "I'm sorry you're gonna hafta see this. Don't look at me!" he hissed as the man turned his head slightly, trying to look at Kiba.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," the priest whispered quickly. "I didn't see you. Sorry."

"Shut up! Just shut the fuck up!"

The two of them were silenced momentarily as Sai suddenly snorted in his sleep in the booth. Kiba removed the shuriken from the priest's neck and tapped the metal circle against the slider separating the priest's booth from the booth that Sai now occupied. He heard the priest gasp in sudden realization.

"No! Don't do this my son."

"Open it!"

"Have you no fear of God?"

"That's who I'm doing this for," Kiba smirked. "Now open the fucking thing." The priest continued to hesitate and Kiba could hear the man's breathing growing ragged from the stress and guilt of what Kiba was asking for. Kiba pressed the shuriken in his hand against the priest's neck a little harder, allowing the man to feel the cold of the steel. "Father, I'll do you right here. Open the fucking slider!"

The priest sighed and slowly reached for the slider. "God have mercy on my soul." He slowly obeyed Kiba's command and the slider slid open under his hands. Kiba grinned with glee as he saw Sai's drunken face through the thin lattice between his booth and Sai's. He chuckled slightly as he pulled back the hand with the shuriken in it, preparing to throw.

Suddenly, Kiba felt a sudden and hard pull yanking him back from the priest, and he found his head tearing through the lattice on the other side of the priest's booth. His vision swam at the sudden change in perspective, but a terrifying chill flew down his spine as he felt a familiar cool of steel press roughly against his neck. He began to panic, fearing that the man from yesterday had found him out here and was taking him out first. However, his fear turned into confusion as he heard a familiar voice whisper harshly into his ear.

"You little fuck. Let him go. I'll drop you right here."

"Sasuke?" Kiba whispered quietly, before the grip shook his head roughly, giving Kiba a sudden head rush. Yep, definitely Sasuke. Kiba grew nervous at his discovery and began trying to reason with his friend. "Okay, just calm down. He could hurt us, brother. He could ruin the whole thing."

Kiba flinched as he felt the shuriken press up against his throat again. "Let him go or I will kill you, _right now_."

"You won't do it Sasuke," Kiba whispered, hoping to appeal to Sasuke's sentimentality. "You won't. You love me man. I'm like a second brother to you, man."

"Hello? You there?" Kiba and Sasuke both froze as a slurred and rough voice wafted through the booths. A moment of stunned silence filled the air, before Kiba realized he still had a grip on the priests collar and shook him a little, causing him to stutter out a response.

"Y-Yes my son."

"Do your thing Father," Kiba whispered softly, making Sasuke growl in rage. Kiba ignored him. "Don't fuck this up."

The priest turned slightly in surprise at the change in circumstance and whispered confusedly back to Kiba, "What do you want me to say?"

"Just be natural, goddamit!" Kiba hissed back.

The priest flinched visibly at the blasphemy and turned back to Sai nervously. Kiba hoped that Sai hadn't heard that little conversation, and relaxed slightly when Sai groaned slightly, most likely from a raging hangover. The priest seemed to calm down a little bit as well, but still seemed shaky as he continued what was probably an ingrained system of questions from seminary. "How long since your last confession, my son?"

Kiba heard Sai grunt in frustration. "Oh, Christ, uh, I've never confessed." Kiba blinked in confusion as Sai suddenly chuckled, and he glanced up at Sasuke hovering over him, still holding tightly to his hair and holding a shuriken to his neck. His friend still seethed with fury at Kiba, but his attention was currently focused on the man two booths over.

Sai stopped chuckling and Kiba could just barely see him turn to look slightly at the priest on the other side of the lattice. "According to the dogma of the Catholic church," he said with slight amusement in his voice, "I should probably burst into flames right here in this booth. But I've come here for advice, not salvation."

Now Kiba's attention was on the man. This wasn't what he'd expected to hear from the detective. The priest in Kiba's grip was silent, obviously just as confused about Sai as Kiba was. The silence only lasted a moment, before the priest continued the conversation with the man. "Why have you come to a church for council if you're not religious?"

"Why have I come to a church?" Sai repeated. Kiba could hear the confusion in his voice, as though he'd never even asked himself the question. "I never have before," Sai admitted. "I guess I just… _felt_ I should."

"What is it my son?" the priest pressed on into the conversation.

"It's… ethics," Sai sighed quietly. "I put evil men behind bars, but the law has miles of red tape and loopholes for these… cocksuckers to slip through. But I've found out there are these two young men who seem to be trying to fix the situation with an iron fist. As if they have God's permission. But what they do is wrong and I should arrest them… technically."

Kiba shivered with fear, and he saw Sasuke's eyes widen in shock. They'd been figured out! How? Kiba gulped in fear. They'd probably found his finger after all, but he shouldn't even be in the database! He was off the records! Wait… the gun incident… Shit.

Kiba snapped out of his reverie as the priest suddenly shook his head in disgust. "God's permission? God doesn't…" Kiba quickly shook the man's collar to shut him up. He didn't need this guy getting in the way of Sai's train of thought. Kiba liked where the detective's train of thought was rolling.

Sai took a deep breath and sat in silence for a moment to collect his thoughts, before continuing. "But in this day and age I believe what they do is… necessary. I feel it is… correct."

There were several moments of silence as Kiba, Sasuke and the priest sat stunned at Sai's confession. Kiba could see the priest gaping in shock and gave the man's collar a small tug to pull him back into reality. The man turned his head to Kiba slightly, and Kiba whispered quietly to him, despite Sasuke's grip, "Do it."

The priest sighed in defeat and turned back to the screen. "You believe?" he asked quietly.

Sai paused for a moment, before looking up through the lattice at the figure of the priest. "Yes…" he said hesitantly.

"You feel?" the priest asked.

"Yes," Sai responded, a bit faster this time.

"You feel? A soul is what gives you feelings," the priest said. Kiba could hear the depressed resolution in the man's voice, but Sai didn't seem to notice. "Happiness, guilt, right or wrong. It is a conduit through which the Lord speaks to us. You _felt_ that your answers would be here in the house of God today. You _feel_ these men are necessary. The Lord has spoken to you twice this day."

Kiba smirked, but stopped as Sasuke squeezed on his neck a little in anger. Kiba couldn't find it in himself to chuckle, but smiled inwardly. This was going better than he'd planned! He'd intended to just kill the threat to him and the brothers right here in the church, but if the priest kept up his act, they'd have another recruit on the inside of the police force! This was the best thing he could ask for!

But Sai was not so convinced of the priest's words. Kiba heard him chuckle slightly and shift in his seat. "Has he now? The _Lord_ is telling me these things? Why can't it just be my intuition?"

The priest continued, unperturbed by the man's lack of faith. Kiba suspected men stumbled in here often with a hangover, so the man probably had practice with this sort of conversation. "You have entered the house of the Lord of your own free will speaking of beliefs and feelings. Is it so much to believe that God has brought you here?"

Sai was silent for a moment, before answering in resignation. "I guess not."

"It is easy to be sarcastic about religion," the priest told Sai. "It is harder to take small hints from God and your feelings and listen to them… to take a stand."

Now Kiba couldn't help himself from grinning widely at the priest's words, despite the strain on his throat, and much to his pleasure, Sasuke was slackening his grip in bewilderment at the priest's words. Kiba wasn't sure if he imagined it or not, but he thought he saw a slight smirk of relief and satisfaction on Sasuke's face. But Sai's next words nearly made Kiba shout for joy.

"You're right."

The priest continued, unaffected as Kiba slackened his grip on the man's collar. "Those who do not act are in a constant state of ethical indecision."

"I want to stand for what I believe in, father," Sai said passionately, growing excited at the priest's words.

"Then you must find out what your beliefs are."

"I believe these young men are right," Sai said, his voice growing louder and more sober. Kiba was practically joyous.

"You know them personally?" Kiba stopped. What did he say?

"Yes," Sai said, cautiously.

"Do you think they would harm an innocent man, for any reason?" Kiba gulped. Shit, this was bad.

"No. They would never do that." The priest immediately began to turn to Kiba, eyes showing anger, and Kiba raised his shuriken defensively. But the priest stopped as Sai shrugged and continued, "Well, the two brothers wouldn't. But the guy with the tattoos, he might. He's kind of an idiot."

Kiba smirked as the man's face froze in fear, and Kiba smirked at the man, despite his odd angle through the lattice. He held up his hand and wiggled the shuriken in his fingers. "Goddam right, I am," he whispered quietly, making Sasuke reapply his former stern grip and making the priest turn back to Sai in panic.

"I'm beginning to see," Sai said ecstatically, leaning forward to the edge of the small seat in the booth. "I've been doing my job… well, for fifteen years and it's just not enough. All the things I wish I could do, these guys are doing. Millions of dollars in tax payers' money wasted on shit like wire taps and surveillance. These boys go in and take care of it for the price of a bullet." Sai looked up at the priest suddenly, nervousness and fear creeping into his voice, second guessing himself because of his loyalty to his profession. "W-w-what do you think I should do? Because I'm a law man."

The priest stood in silence again, hesitant to grant the begging man in the other booth any leverage conflicting with the law. Kiba jostled him softly, not even needing extreme force to remind the man that he was there. He knew the priest would do what he said. He valued his life too much. He may be a priest, but he was still human, and held the same fear of death that every person in the world had.

The priest sighed in resignation. "The laws of God are higher than the laws of man," he said quietly to Sai.

"Yes! Yes!" Sai exclaimed, rising from his seat. Kiba winced, hoping the detective wouldn't notice him, but the man was too excited at "God's permission" to notice anything other than the priest covering most of the lattice. "I was thinking that, too. No. I was _feeling_ it. All I needed was to hear you say it! Amen! I'll help them."

The priest leaned forward in misery and hung his head against the wall of the booth. "Forgive me father," he whispered, his voice cracking. But Sai didn't catch any change in the man's voice and continued to rant in exhilaration.

"Thank you, Father, thank you!" he wobbly attempted to make the sign of the cross, but messed up and blanched. He scowled for a moment, before shrugging to the priest. "Whatever. Goodbye, amen." Sai burst through the door of the booth and Kiba could hear his footsteps quickly recede away from the confessional and out the doors of the church. Kiba sighed in relief.

As the priest continued to hang his head in shame, Sasuke shoved Kiba's head back through the hole in the lattice, still angry at Kiba's actions. Kiba felt a heavy pang of guilt as he released the priest's collar and the man didn't even turn to face Kiba in his misery. Kiba fumbled for words as he attempted a heartfelt apology, but things like that weren't really Kiba's forte.

"I wouldn't have, uh, killed you, Father. Dominus Ominus, and all that, right. Um, but remember, you're bound. You can't talk about this… to anyone, you know?"

"Just go!" the priest yelled at Kiba, not even turning around. Kiba winced at the man's voice. If he ever got any money off this kind of work, he swore he'd come back and put enough offering in to let this guy retire to the Bahamas.

As Kiba left the booth, he ran into Naruto, who had his eyebrows raised at Kiba's being in the church, much less the priest's booth in the confessional. He raised an eyebrow as Sasuke stormed past him and out the doors of the church in rage. "What the hell was that all about?" he asked, baffled.

Kiba nearly burst out laughing. "The Lord works in mysterious ways, my friend," he said, patting his friend on the back and walking out of the church, leaving Naruto standing there in confusion.

* * *

A/N

Oh, noez! Sai's been turned to their side! What happens next?

Not much to say, still working out the kinks of the Naruto western intro. Hopefully it'll be done soon.


	13. Reunion

_Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Boondock Saints belongs to Franchise Pictures._

**Reunion**

"That's all you can give me?" a confused voice said through the receiver. Sasuke sighed and furrowed his brows in frustration. Sai seemed to be just as confused about this guy as Kiba was. If the guy who unraveled the whole Mist incident and called them out on their last few hits couldn't figure out what was going on, they were just royally fucked.

Sai had managed to contact them a few hours after the confrontation they had had at the church, telling them that he had figured them out and wanted them to contact him via payphone to avoid suspicious calls between the two of them. Sasuke and Kiba had to act surprised about the call, since they hadn't told Naruto about Kiba threatening the priest in the church. Naruto had become pretty good friends with the man since childhood, and Sasuke had little doubt that if they told Naruto about what Kiba had done, he wouldn't be nearly as lenient in his reaction as Sasuke had been.

The number Sai had given them had connected them to another payphone, no doubt one of Sai's plans to reduce the threat of discovery even lower than what it previously was. Naruto had been ecstatic about Sai joining up, was already very trusting of the man. In any other situation, Sasuke most likely would have doubted Sai's intentions for joining and suspected a setup. But after the mess in the confessional, Sasuke had little doubt of the man's good intentions.

At the moment, Naruto was still giddy from the news, and was messing around with Kiba on the sidewalk behind Sasuke, playing keep away with their friend's box of pocky. Naruto had wanted to talk to Sai himself, but Sasuke had taken control of the phone, to keep Naruto from saying anything stupid that could give away what they did at the church. Sasuke turned and shushed the two as Kiba tackled Naruto and the two crashed into a group of trashcans.

"Well," Sasuke said into the phone uncertainly, scratching his head, "like I said, the guy had long white hair, and we caught the side of his face for a second. And it looked like he had wrinkles and shit, and this huge mole on his nose or something. Maybe… late fifties, early sixties, somewhere around there."

The receiver was silent on the other end. Sasuke could practically hear Sai gaping at the receiver in disbelief. "So you're telling me it was one guy with six different brands of kunai? A-and he was a senior fucking citizen?" Sasuke heard him groan in… realization? Sasuke thought he heard Sai mutter something about an "Ebisu" but he shrugged it off as in inside joke or something.

"I think it's better if we find this man before he finds us again," Sasuke said intently. "If this guy was hired by the Sound, I don't think Kiba or either of us will be able to get anything out of one of their men. As a ROOT agent, you probably know how to get in touch with some people that might know something."

"I'll see what I can do. How do I get in touch with you if I need to?"

"Call our cells from a payphone if you need to, but things will probably change tomorrow. We're going to hit Orochimaru tonight, right in the comfort of his own home. Then we move on to Suna. It's getting a bit hot for us here, and anymore things we do might be the straw that breaks the camel's back, right? We got found out by you because of the incident with the white-haired man. We don't need anyone else finding out about us."

"Be careful."

"We'll call you tonight, afterwards."

* * *

Sai huffed in exasperation at the stubborn old man in front of him. The former Sound Don Sasori was one tough cookie. Sai had been questioning the man for almost a half hour in the restaurant bathroom, much to the despair of numerous customers of the place. Sai might have gotten a kick out of it if he didn't know that he was endangering the three boys if he didn't get the information out of the old fart.

"I don't know who he is," the old man grumbled insistently as he slowly replaced the towels beside the sinks. "Nobody does. You've got a better chance just killing him yourself than finding someone who's got information on the man."

"What did he bring him in for?" The man simply grunted and continued folding the small towels. Sai groaned in frustration and glared at the man, despite it being a futile gesture. The detective reached into his coat pocket and pulled out an envelope filled with several thousand dollars worth of money. He already done this twice to get the little information he'd already received about the man. This old bastard was going to bleed him dry! "Well?" he asked, frustration growing in his voice.

"Needed an outsider," the man said, now speaking freely. "The package boy, what was his name? Kiba? He knows everyone. He'd spot our hitters a mile away."

"Just for him? One guy?" Sai balked at the preposterous concept. All this effort for the comic relief of the group?

"Well he's the one shooting up all his guys, right?" the old man said, a small smile in his voice. "He's scared of the kid. The kids got those lackeys, right, but he's the killer right? Wasted the two dumbasses in the deli, I heard. Says he's real good, got every available gun in the city up there. Bought time that jackass got some trouble that wouldn't be taken care of by me or his papa…"

"Wait, wait, wait," Sai interrupted, waving his hands. "Rewind that. He's got every gun up where?"

"Up at his house, of course," Sasori said, his tone implying it was obvious. "I don't know what's going on but I know it's gotta have something to do with this kid."

Sai froze. "His house? That's where… Oh fuck!" Sai turned on his heels and bolted for the bathroom door, quickly unlocking it and bursting through, knocking an agitated customer on his ass as the door flew open. Sai might have been amused by the long line for the bathroom he had caused by locking it, but now was not the time to think about things like that.

The boys were walking right into a deathtrap.

* * *

Orochimaru sat silently in his study, carefully polishing a katana in his hands, his favorite weapon, the blade Kusanagi. He'd had this blade for many years now, having picked it up in a small antiques shop in Iwagakure during his travels around the world. He'd spent time journeying in his youth to find "vacation homes" for himself, or rather, places he could escape to during trying times or some such, where he'd be safe from especially dangerous gang wars and have alibis for the sake of any juries that might try to persecute him in a court of law.

When he'd found the Kusanagi in the shop, he'd immediately believed it to be special, through some sixth sense or some nonsense like that. However, when he'd spoken to the shopkeeper about the blade, the man gave him a ridiculous price on it, claiming it to be an ancient relic, thousands of years old. Despite Orochimaru's efforts to haggle the man down to a lower price, the man refused to budge from his price, and even raised it after a few insults thrown from Orochimaru's end of the argument.

Orochimaru had decided in the end to just kill the man right then and there, taking the sword for himself.

An amused grin crept across Orochimaru's face as he recalled the incident. He could still remember the shocked look on the man's face as Orochimaru pierced him through the chest with the very sword he had been selling. Orochimaru wondered mildly if the man contemplated whether or not he should have lowered the price after all as he fell to the floor dead. The mob boss chuckled. He'd always enjoyed trying to imagine the last thoughts of men he'd watched die over the years. Since then, this blade had been the only weapon he ever used to kill anybody with. Let the others use their kunai and shuriken; Orochimaru would use the Kusanagi to kill in style.

As he held the blade up to the light to check for any discrepancies in his work, he glanced casually over to the door to his office, expecting someone to come through and speak to him at any moment. Hell, that was the only reason he was cleaning his beloved blade tonight, because he was expecting to use it. He'd heard a bit of commotion in his house earlier that night, most likely caused by that damned Kiba, and was expecting one of his lackeys to come through the door any moment, telling him they'd been captured or killed. Orochimaru hoped for the former. He wanted to have some fun with them himself before they died. Especially Kiba. He deserved special attention for trying to dissolve Orochimaru's beloved organization.

As expected, moments later, one of Orochimaru's lackeys, Kidomaru, burst through the door, babbling on about captured intruders and butchered soldiers. Orochimaru simply grinned, causing Kidomaru to blink in confused surprise. Orochimaru carefully sheathed his blade and stood up, sliding the weapon into his belt buckle. He gently patted his suit to remove the wrinkles, and then walked around his desk and out the door, past his stunned guard.

Orochimaru walked casually down the steps of his fine house into the basement, where Kidomaru had informed him the three culprits were being kept. The snake boss' guards had detained the three in one of Orochimaru's labs, where he occasionally tested certain "medicines" he developed. Orochimaru always had been intrigued by certain pharmaceutical tests, and enjoyed playing with chemicals on people who irked him or went against him in the Sound Mob. He had created several intriguing concoctions in his spare time, some of which were being mass produced and sold to the public over the black market.

Orochimaru let out an impressed whistle as he turned a corner in the basement, coming upon the corpses of over a dozen of the men he'd ordered back to his house. It seemed the three men had done considerable damage to Orochimaru's forced before being captured; more reason to let them suffer before killing them off. Each of the men was punctured with kunai or shuriken and had their arms crossed over their chests with small pennies in each of their eyes. Orochimaru stepped nimbly over the bodies as he continued to his lab, and Kidomaru followed close behind, warily stepping over the messier bodies.

As Orochimaru neared his lab, he heard loud screaming and cursing echoing down the hall. Most of the voices were familiar, and he could hear Kiba belting out some pretty imaginative insults over the noise, but there were a couple voices he didn't recognize. He saw another one of his men open the door as he approached; Sakon, probably alerted to him coming by the numerous alarm systems set in place all over his house. The man was splattered in blood, most of it probably not his. Orochimaru saw that the man's knuckles were slightly bruised, meaning his men had been at the interrogations for a while before coming to get him. Orochimaru frowned. They should have came and gotten him immediately. He'd have to punish his soldiers later for forgetting their duties and protocol.

As Orochimaru entered the room, the room grew silent. Orochimaru was surprised to find that there were only four other men in the room besides Sakon, and only one of them being a subordinate of his. Orochimaru was also surprised that there had been so much noise coming from the room, since the other subordinate in the room, Kimimaro, was not one for making noise. His favorite subordinate preferred to be a silent menace, and was proving to be a fine example at the moment as he leaned casually against one of the work benches and watched the three prisoners with an expressionless face. Sitting in the corner and bound to three chairs where three men, the center one seating Kiba. The other two faces surprised Orochimaru. The two men from the news who had managed to kill off a couple of Mist Mafiosos. Orochimaru smirked. This day kept getting more and more intriguing.

Orochimaru grinned widely at the three boys, causing them to lean back in their chairs in surprise. The snake boss was glad to see that Kiba was the most fearful looking of the three of them, and had obviously been the brunt of his subordinates' interrogation, with his beaten and bloody face. Orochimaru took a casual step toward the three of them, causing Kiba's eyes to widen even more in fear.

"So," Orochimaru said quietly. "I must say I'm impressed with you three. You three managed to wipe out all but three of my men. But it seems it just wasn't enough, and as you can see, I am still alive, and I have beaten you. I am in control right now, and I control whether you live or die, depending on whether you tell me what I want to hear or not. Now tell me: was this all you boys' doing, or were you hired by someone to do this to me?"

The three glanced between themselves, before turning back to the Sound boss, and yelling a volley of curses and swears at the man. Orochimaru frowned in silent anger, before motioning Sakon and Kidomaru forward, and whispering his instructions quietly into their ears. The two grinned, and immediately turned and advanced on Kiba, causing him to cry out in fright.

As Orochimaru's men approached, Kiba's two partners continued their tirade, promising a bevy of punishments to Orochimaru if he did anything to their friend. Orochimaru ignored them as Sakon and Kidomaru quickly removed Kiba's right hand from his restraints and held it up in the air, forcing out his fingers. Orochimaru put his hand gently on the hilt of the Kusanagi, and glared directly into Kiba's eyes, mustering all the killing intent he could into his glare.

"Let me make one thing clear," he said quietly, silencing the two other men. "I know that you know that I only give people one chance to do the right thing, and then I stop being forgiving. Now are you going to tell me what's going on here? Are you going to give me some answers?"

There was just a short moment of silence before Kiba yelled, "Fuck off!" His comrades followed his example soon after and the room was once again filled with noise. Orochimaru sighed visibly, allowing the boys to see his mock annoyance. The sign was followed by the swift motion of him unsheathing his blade and slicing off Kiba's right pinky. His former delivery boy and his friends stared at his hand in shock for a moment, before blood gushed from the wound and Kiba screamed in pain. The three began swearing at Orochimaru again as Kiba cried out in pain.

"There, now it's a matching pair," Orochimaru said nonchalantly as he sheathed his sword. He grinned in amusement as Sakon and Kidomaru re-shackled Kiba to the chair, and he motioned to his three lackeys to follow him out of the room. He left the room with a satisfied grin on his face, being followed out by his three remaining soldiers and a continuous volley of curses from the three boys, and cries of pain in Kiba's case.

As Orochimaru and his men entered the hallway, he allowed Sakon to close the door behind them before turning to them and sighing in mock exasperation. "What do you guys think?" he asked the three. "Can we get anything out of them?"

"They're tough," Kidomaru said with a growl. "No way they're gonna talk."

"I know Rocco," Kimimaro suddenly said, catching the attention of Orochimaru. Kimimaro didn't say much of anything unless it was vital. "I've worked with him before, and I've seen that he isn't smart enough for this kind of thing. Most likely, these other two guys are the brains of their operation. He's just a player in their game."

Orochimaru frowned at this new information. It seemed Kiba was just continuing to disappoint him. For so long, he'd thought that Kiba was going around wasting his men, and now he finds he's just riding the coattails of two of his buddies, and reaping the profits all along? Orochimaru seethed with anger, being played like this by three little morons this whole time.

Orochimaru drew the Kusanagi and growled as he turned to the door, causing his three soldiers to step back in fear of him. "There's only one way to get them to talk," the Sound Boss said menacingly, stepping toward the door.

* * *

"Kiba! You alright? Jesus, are you okay?" Naruto was screaming in frustration and fear as his friend moan and cried in pain.

"Oh, Christ!" Kiba sobbed out. "He cut off my finger, retard! He's gonna kill us all, dammit!"

"Shut the hell up! We'll get out of this, just keep yourself together man!" Naruto was near crying himself. His friend was in pain, and he couldn't help him or even get revenge on the bastard that did it. How the hell could he be so helpless. He tore in futile effort at the handcuffs that held him tightly to the chair, crying out in pain as the metal tore at his skin.

"Sasuke!" he said, turning to his brother. "Can you wiggle out of your chains?"

"Fuck no!" his brother barked back. "These assholes already got these things digging into me as it is, there's no way I'm getting out!"

"Don't you have any ideas?"

"Like what? I can't poof my way out of this like a fucking ninja, you dumb fuck!"

Suddenly the door to the room creaked open, and the three boys fell silent again; Kiba even bit back his whimpering. The three glared as Orochimaru strode casually into the room, not saying a word. Naruto's glared at the man in rage, before he noticed the katana in Orochimaru's hand. He quickly looked up at the man's face, and saw his eyes looking directly at Kiba in fury.

Naruto quickly turned to warn his friend, to find that Kiba had a look of resolve in his eyes despite his pain. Before Naruto could utter a single word, however, he saw the sword raise quickly into a thrust position and a look of absolute fear cover his friend's face. With a single fluid thrust, the sword plunged into Kiba chest, straight through his heart. A look of disbelief covered his friend's face.

"Oh God…" Kiba whispered, clearly audible to the silent room. Orochimaru smirked in satisfaction at the look of shock on Naruto and Sasuke's faces as we withdrew the sword from Kiba's chest and allowed Naruto's friend to fall back onto the floor.

Naruto barely even noticed Orochimaru leave. As Kiba gasped for breath on the floor of the lab, Naruto screamed and cried, shaking his chair violently in an attempt to get to his friend. In one final burst of energy, he managed to topple the chair, landing him roughly on his shoulder. The pain didn't even register in his mind however, as he struggled to crawl over to his dying friend.

After what seemed like an eternity of struggling, Naruto managed to get close enough to Kiba to prop his head up on his friend's chest, sobbing into Kiba's jacket. Naruto felt his head hit something hard and looked up to see Sasuke in the same position, an equal look of anguish on his face as well. The two continued to cry out their friend's name, begging him to hold on, to not die.

"You guys?" Naruto heard Kiba struggle to whisper out words in his dying state. Naruto looked up at his friend's face through eyes blurred by tears and tried to respond, but couldn't bring himself to do so. Luckily, Sasuke spoke up, anguish in his voice.

"We're here brother. We're here man."

"You gotta keep going," Kiba coughed out, blood spraying into the air as his lungs filled with blood.

"We'll keep going, Kiba," Naruto managed to blurt out through sobs.

"You'll make it outta here," Kiba said, raising his head to look at the brothers. Naruto saw a small smile of acceptance on their friend's face and he looked at them, causing Naruto to burst out in more tears. "You can't ever stop, not ever. You gotta make this world better."

In one last half-hearted laugh, they watched in terror as Kiba coughed once more and let his head fall backwards onto the concrete floor, eyes closed. The two brothers sat in unbelieving silence for a moment, listening to their friend's chest, praying for a sound. However, nothing emitted from Kiba's heart. Naruto screamed and cried in sorrow and fury as Kiba lay there, followed by Sasuke, who wept along with him on the floor.

* * *

"Boss, we got a problem."

Orochimaru sighed as sat in his study again. Sakon stood before him, a nervous look on his face, while Kidomaru and Kimimaro sat in the back, both nervous as well in the presence of their boss while delivering bad news. Orochimaru glared at his subordinates causing the men to wince in fear, before returning his attention to re-polishing the Kusanagi.

"Don't tell me the other two boys escaped," he said to Sakon, not bothering to hide the irritation in his voice. "I'm sure you know that if such a thing occurred, I'd have no one left to vent my frustrations on…" He grinned wickedly, turning to point the tip of the blade at Sakon, who gulped in fear. "…except you of course."

"No, no! Not that!" Sakon sputtered quickly. "It's about the Toad Sage." Orochimaru's eyes widened in fear. The Sage! Shit! He'd forgotten about him! Sakon kept talking, however, since he had not noticed Orochimaru's expression after averting his eyes from his boss' face. "Once you set him in motion, you can't call him off. He thinks it's still on, and that means he'll be coming here, probably."

"Oh Jesus Christ!" Orochimaru suddenly screamed in an uncharacteristic display of fear. His subordinates reeled in shock at their boss' look of terror, and began eying the door nervously, suddenly afraid for their own lives as well.

"What? I…" Sakon managed to stutter a little, trying to calm Orochimaru down, but to little effect. The Sound Boss began pacing around his desk, nervously talking to himself and waving the Kusanagi as he motioned with his hands in panic.

"Okay, okay. I don't have my name spray painted on the front of this house. There are no big pictures of me anywhere. If this guy thinks the job is still a go then I got green money says the mother fucker's out in the bushes already. I'm fucking gone!" He turned to his men, suddenly remembering their presence. He straightened up a little and calmed his voice as the three looked on in fear. "I'm leaving you guys to deal with this."

He walked quickly out of the room, leaving his remaining subordinates to stare at his retreating back in shock. Orochimaru cringed as he heard Kidomaru make a comment as he exited the house.

"He's just one fucking guy. So what? It's not that bad… right?"

* * *

Naruto growled in silent determination as he bit tightly onto the collar of his coat. It had been almost ten minutes since Kiba's death. Plenty of time for him and Sasuke to replace the sorrow and guilt in their hearts with hate and rage. The two brothers had managed to wiggle themselves back into upright positions in their chairs through sheer determination to achieve revenge against Orochimaru.

With nothing in mind but vengeance, Naruto had managed to conceive a plan that would assure their escape, despite any consequences. It had taken a while to convince Sasuke to go along with the plan, but he had changed his brother's mind by reminding him that it was necessary to avenge Kiba. Despite his uncertainty, Sasuke had agreed to the plan. He'd managed to free one of his feet from the chair that he was attached to and had managed to scoot behind Naruto, with his front facing Naruto's back.

"Are you sure about this," Naruto heard Sasuke whisper nervously.

"Do it!" Naruto yelled insistently, his voice muffled by the collar in his mouth.

Sasuke hesitated for only a moment more, before lifting his leg up and striking forward. The heel of his boot struck full force against Naruto's left hand, breaking and crushing several bones. Naruto screamed as his nerves exploded in pain, but his anguished cries were muffled by the cloth in his mouth. He could hear his brother begin to sob again a moment before another piercing strike from the boot caused Naruto's world to explode in white light, pain tearing through his arm.

Again and again Sasuke struck Naruto's hand, and his brothers sobs grew louder. Naruto could feel his hand crumbling, but ignored the pain, pulling desperately against the cuffs binding him to the chair. After what felt like an infinite amount of pain, the bloody piece of broken meat that remained of Naruto's left hand slid gently through loop of the cuffs, lubricated by the blood pouring down his palm and fingers.

With his hand free, Naruto managed to stand up and was able to loosen the restraints around his legs. With his newfound mobility, the young blonde man lifted up his leg and smashed through the chair, freeing his left arm in the process and allowing him complete freedom from the chair. Naruto barked out a quick laugh of triumph and turned to Sasuke to free his brother as well. His brother had a satisfied look on his face as well, and was shaking wildly in his chair, silently begging Naruto to free him as well so he could get revenge for Kiba.

_Creeeak_… Naruto froze, as a loud sound filled the room. Panicking, he turned to find the sound emitting from the noisy door handle of the lab, slowly tilting as the person on the other side obviously struggled to open it. Thinking quickly as the hinge lowered even closer to opening, Naruto reached down and grabbed a splintered leg of the chair he had just finished breaking and backed against the wall as the door finally swung open.

One of Orochimaru's goons strode swiftly into the room. The man had medium-length white hair and loose fitting clothing. His eyes turned toward the opposite wall and froze momentarily on Sasuke, realizing that one of Orochimaru's prisoners was missing. In a swift motion, Naruto lunged toward him and the man's attention turned at the sudden motion, only to widen in shock as Naruto plunged the sharp stick up through the bottom of his chin into his head.

The attack proved not to be immediately fatal, and the white haired man grasped desperately at the chair leg in jaw. Seeing the man still alive, Naruto flew into an even greater rage, grabbing the man by the front of his shirt and smashing his nose with his fist. The blow sent the man sprawling against the floor in front of Sasuke, who began pounding against the man's skull with his freed foot. As the man struggled for his life, Naruto descended on him again and began kicking at the man as he slowly was beaten to death.

The two continued their barbaric assault long after the man had died, and had been reduced to a bloody mess on the floor of the lab.

_

* * *

_

Knock. Knock. Knock.

Kidomaru jumped at the sudden noise. His shuriken flashed as he flicked one out of his holster and brought it to the ready, glancing nervously around the room. His eyes shot past the windows, the doors, even the fireplace. Anything that could be used as an entrance, no matter how absurd the possibility. If this guy was as bad as Sakon told him, he was taking no chances at all.

Again the knocking sound filled the area, and Kidomaru managed to follow the sound to its source, the front door. Kidomaru eyed the door suspiciously. The killer guy would use such an obvious tactic would he? Slowly, he edged toward the door, and scooted up against the wall on the hinged side of the door. He carefully leaned out, sliding closer to the peephole until he could just see through to the other side on the edge of his vision. His eyes widened in surprise.

Breasts. Very nice breasts looked back at him. This was definitely a tactic he didn't expect the killer to pull. This definitely wasn't the killer, then. Kidomaru stepped away from the door and wracked his brain in thought. What was today? Tuesday? No, Monday. Monday was happy night! Monday was the night Mizuki sent girls over! With a big grin on his face, Kidomaru lunged for the handle, throwing the door open.

His jaw dropped. This was a pretty girl! No, this was the best girl ever! Along with the nice rack he'd seen through the peephole, he suddenly noticed the girl had quite a few other distinguishable features. Gorgeous, sleek black hair stretched just past her shoulders. Thin, smiling lips in ruby lipstick lay under a small nose, which held up a pair of pink aviators. The girl was wearing a short, hot pink, cheap looking dress with a long white scarf. Smooth, shapely legs were supported by six inch platform heels.

"Mizuki sent me over," the woman whispered in a sultry voice. "As… entertainment." Kidomaru grinned widely as his eyes danced up and down the woman, before he caught himself and gulped nervously, glancing around the bushes and shrubs surrounding the house, down the driveway and across the street. The girl raised an eyebrow questioningly.

"Listen baby," Kidomaru said nervously, shaking slightly and feeling very vulnerable. "Tonight ain't the night for this shit." His eyes landed on the girl again and he found he couldn't stop staring again. "Jeez, Mizuki's so great. Always sending us hot girls."

The girl smiled slightly at Kidomaru's rambling and leaned forward. "You look like you could use a quickie," she said softly, and Kidomaru's eyes opened in surprise and shock as the girl suddenly lip locked him, and rubbed up against him enticingly. He moaned slightly in ecstasy, and groaned in disappointment as the girl pulled away.

Kidomaru glanced across the sides of the house one more time before grabbing the girl's arm and quickly dragging her into the house. He giggled excitedly as he slammed the door behind him and made his way to the main bathroom of the house. However, he screeched to a halt, remembering the threat that could be lurking outside, and turned to face the rear of the house, calling to his partner.

"Hey! Sakon!"

"What? What is it?" he heard his associate yell in response. He watched his friend dash into the hallway, shuriken at the ready, obviously thinking Kidomaru had spotted the killer. He stopped short, spotting Kidomaru with the girl and raising an eyebrow in confusion, before growling in anger and disgust. "What the fuck?!"

"Come on man," Kidomaru pleaded. "I haven't been laid in a week. It'll only take five minutes." He frowned in embarrassment at his pronouncement as Sakon snickered. He chuckled nervously at the girl, who only smiled in understanding, much to Kidomaru's increased embarrassment.

Sakon shook his head in frustration and sighed, before glaring at Kidomaru with a disapproving look on his face. "If I die cause you're getting a piece of ass, I'll come back and beat you to death with a big rubber dick."

Kidomaru sighed in relief and smiled to his friend. "Don't worry about it."

The next few minutes passed like a blur for Kidomaru, once he'd gotten the girl to the bathroom. They'd immediately dived into throws of passion, groping each other. Kidomaru grew frustrated when he found the girl forcing him to avoid touching her crotch, but Kidomaru wasn't caring to much about that right now. He'd get there eventually. Kidomaru wasn't one to shy away from admitting that he liked to be dominant one during intercourse, much to his personal pride. He smirked as the girl learned this when he threw her roughly to the ground and growled seductively as he reached to unzip his pants.

Kidomaru froze. His eyes caught sight of the girl's face, and he noticed a strange line across her forehead. Looking closer, he gasped in shock as he spotted disheveled hair under the line. A wig! But why would a girl need a wig? Unless… He looked down her skirt as she lay on the ground and nearly vomited. The girl/guys eyes widened, realizing he'd been found out. Realizing he'd been had, he reached for his kunai.

He never even got close. As he reached for his holster, the guy suddenly grabbed him by the ankles and kicked the high heels straight into his crotch. Kidomaru's head exploded in white light as pain ripped through his body. He reached for his balls, only to have the guy kick again, and again. Kidomaru tried to scream in pain, but not breath would come out. Finally, much to his relief, his knees finally gave out under him, making him fall backwards and allowing him to escape the pain in his crotch.

As white light flooded his eyes, he tried desperately to lean forward to try and destroy the guy who most likely ruined his chances at children. He managed to look down his chest before the pain made him dizzy. However, he did manage to see the guy lean forward, though Kidomaru was having trouble thinking straight at the moment. He vaguely noticed as the guy pulled his arm back, with something circular and shining in his hands.

_Splat_.

* * *

"It's on now. It's on now. Too far."

Sai clutched his chest nervously as his forced his breathing rate to slow. He'd finally done it. He'd done what every cop in the world wished they had the legal right to do. He'd killed a criminal in cold blood, simply for the sake of removing the criminal from society. He'd gone vigilante on the world of crime. And he _loved_ it. Right in the throat! He stood up shakily, still shaken up from the near death experience. He hadn't planned on letting the guy get that much leverage on him!

As his heart rate slowed, Sai quickly readjusted his wig and brushed off his dress. The whole hooker disguise had been an on the fly decision as he'd tried to think of a plausible plan that he could use to save the boys. He'd just gone with the first idea, which was the information he'd had on Mizuki, an alleged pimp that was protected by Orochimaru in exchange for his girls' services. He'd just been lucky he still had that drag outfit from college…

But this wasn't the time to walk down memory lane. He still had people to rescue. Stepping cautiously over the thug's body, Sai quickly exited the bathroom and shut the door behind him. He scanned the area, checking for witnesses before walking quickly to the left, in search for a flight of stairs. Knowing a man with a reputation like Orochimaru, any _unwanted guests_ would most likely be kept in the basement, away from prying eyes and windows.

"Hey baby, you ready for seconds?" Sai heart skipped a beat as he turned to the voice. He turned to find the man in the bathroom's comrade walking down the hall towards him. Sakon? Was that it? "Guess Kidomaru couldn't even last as long as five minutes, the dumb bastard," Sakon said with an amused snort. Sai frowned for a moment, before giving the man an unassuming smile, getting the man off guard. As the man eyed him, Sai reached into the holster under his skirt and threw it casually at the man, hitting him square between the eyes. The man fell to the floor with a smile, not even aware he'd been killed when it happened. Walking away from his second kill, Sai cautiously turned a corner, spotting the staircase and walking toward it quickly.

However, a chill slid down Sai's spine and his hair stood on edge, sensing something wrong. He paused in his march to the door, and took a more cautious look around. At first, nothing seemed out of the ordinary, even to his highly trained detective's eyes. And yet, he had the distinct feeling that something was terribly wrong and out of place. But what was it? Orochimaru's men weren't subtle enough to sneak around and try to catch him off guard, especially not in what they believed to be the safety of their own house. Safety… that word stuck out in Sai's head. Was something not safe around here?

Again, he felt a chill, but this time it was due to a breeze across his bare legs. Turning quickly, he spotted a slightly open window on the far end of the hallway. He'd not given it much notice on first glance, but now that he thought about it, the idea seemed strange. He remembered the man in the bathroom's nervousness at the front door and his obvious attempts to get rid of Sai. They had been bunkering down for something, and were on guard. From who?

Sai took a cautious step toward the window, reaching for a kunai from under his skirt and approaching cautiously. Suddenly, he heard a floorboard creak behind him. But before he could react, he felt a sudden impact and his world swirled and began to blacken. Just before he hit the floor, he strained to turn his muddled head and spotted a blur of white walking away from him.

* * *

The white-haired man slid quietly down the hall, hands resting gently on a holster on either side of his flak jacket, just in case. He smiled inwardly as he passed the mounds of bodies littering the basement of the house. Many evil men had been removed from the earth today. He only wished the three he was after were not as evil as these men. Albeit, he didn't know them well, but the bastards in the Sound only brought him out to deal with opposing gang wars or foolish things like that. These three were probably just that: opposing men of another Mob. And they would be dealt with as all the others before them had been dealt with.

He slowed as the light at the end of the hall reflected off a piece of metal several steps away from him on the floor. He paused as he reached a body that lay on the ground. The man was dressed in normal Sound colors, and his cause of death was most likely either the kunai in his chest or the shuriken in his throat. But the glint of light had not come from either of those, but rather from two small copper pennies covering each of the man's eyes.

The white-haired man furrowed his brows in confusion. This was rare. Not many men of the world still taught their children to show _proper_ respect for the dead. He hadn't noticed before due to the dark underground hallway, but as he looked around, he noticed that many of the men that lay here had pennies in their eyes. There were some that didn't near the staircase, but a small, half empty roll of pennies lay edged up against the wall, suggesting that those that placed the pennies didn't have time to place the rest and were forced to discard their gift to the deceased. The white-haired man smirked. Perhaps these boys he was hunting weren't good men, but they were respectful of those they killed.

But those thoughts would have to wait. He had a mission to do right now. At the very least, he would show these boys the same respect that they had granted their own victims. Once he had dispatched them, that is.

He continued down the curving hallway, his eyes finally resting on a well lit, slightly ajar door at the very end. He pulled two kunai out of his holsters, readying them as he neared the door. He heard voices echoing down the hallway, and he knew he had found his victims. However, he slowed again as he listened to the voices in the room. There were two that he could hear, speaking in unison, and they weren't speaking casually. Not angrily either, or even cautiously. Rather, they were speaking very… reverently. As he got close enough to peek though the door, he managed to hear their words at last and nearly gasped in shock.

"_And shepherds we shall be,  
for thee, my Lord, for thee…"_

As the white-haired man craned his head to look into the room, he nearly fell to his knees in shock at what he saw. One man with white hair lay on the floor, beaten to death, with no pennies in his eyes. Another man, one with shaggy brown hair and fang tattoos, was sat in a chair, with his eyes facing up towards the ceiling, two new pennies gleaming brightly in his eyes. Kneeling next to the man in the chair were two men of about the same age.

It was the two kneeling men that made the man's breath catch in his throat. One had bright and messy blonde hair, and the man could just barely see whisker-shaped birthmarks on his cheeks. The other had slicked black hair, pointed in the back like a cockatoo. The man nearly broke down weeping. He knew these men. But he hadn't seen them in over twenty years, leaving them behind with his violent blonde wife…

The man slowly walked into the room as the boys continued their prayer. He had a small but joyful smile on his face as he put away his kunai as they spoke.

"_Power hath descended forth from Thy hands…"_

At this point, one of the man's kunai clinked loudly as they slid into place, and the two boys turned immediately, weapons at the ready. The man smiled as he saw their full faces. This was definitely them. They looked so much older… His smile caught the boys off guard, along with him being unarmed. The man chuckled and took a step forward, and the boys raised their weapons defensively, but they lowered them in surprise as the man began speaking and continued the prayer they had stopped short.

"_That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy command.  
We will flow a river forth unto Thee,  
and teeming with souls shall it ever be.  
E nomini patri,  
et Fili e spiritu sancti."_

By this point, the man had reached the boys as they still kneeled on the floor, unable to stand up in shock. Slowly, the boys began to smile as well, realizing who the man was. The man continued to smile as he placed a hand on each of their cheeks.

"Ah, my sons," he said happily. "I've missed you both."

* * *

A/N

Oh, joy. Big happy family again. Only one more chapter to go! Are you ready? I'm ready! 7000 words though… whew. That's apparently a pretty good accomplishment on . Rock on.

So, anyway, I'm apparently becoming one with my inner Shikamaru and haven't finished the Naruto western intro like I said I would. But it'll be done soon, I swear!

Not much more to say. However, college starts again in a few weeks, but I'm not sure if that means I'll be having more or less time to write. I managed to get the first few chapters done in quick succession while at college, but I'll be the first to admit they weren't that well written… oh well. The western will have more thought required to write it, so I'll be hopen that works out.

Read and REVIEW! --Note the emphasis…


	14. Reckoning

_Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto. Boondock Saints belongs to Franchise Pictures._

**Reckoning**

It was a chilly day in April, and Sai shivered slightly as a cool breeze blew by him. He stood casually outside a small alleyway next to the local Konoha courthouse. A trio of people carrying protest posters hurried by him and he watched them pass by with mild interest. The three continued past him and on down the main street in front of the courthouse until they merged with a large crowd of people, several hundred in number, picketing and protesting outside the long staircase of the court. A long ring of police continued to keep them back and away from the stairs as the people roared and chanted, demanding satisfaction.

Sai smiled wryly to himself. '_They'll never get what they want from the police. But then again, that's why _I'm_ here, with the boys_.' Sai shook his head wearily. This was the culmination of weeks of planning, and things had been planned out with every bit of information he'd had available to him. Even if the brothers and their father were caught at the end of it all, even if they died, God forbid, even if things went totally wrong in ways Sai couldn't even imaging, they sure as hell were going to succeed in what they came for, no doubt about it. At the very least, Sai, as well as some… _new recruits_, were here as backup. Just in case some extra firepower or a distraction was needed for the family to escape or survive.

A blur of motion caught Sai's eye as he watched the crowd with disinterest. He turned as a large, black ROOT armored van slowly crept forward along and street and squeaked to a stop in front of Sai. Sai glanced left and right of the alleyway to make sure the coast was clear. He allowed another group of picketers to pass him by and smiled casually to them as they greeted him and continued on to the other protesters. As the group got further away, Sai waited until they were at a safe distance and turned to nod at the tinted windows of the van. The door quickly swung open, and a familiar, sunglasses-wearing face hopped out of the driver's seat and glanced nervously around before turning to Sai, who grinned in amusement.

"Ebisu," Sai smirked. "Ready for this?"

"Yeah," the junior detective replied, still looking around nervously. "Kakashi and Asuma in position yet."

"Don't worry about them, they're ready to go," Sai said shaking his head. "And calm down. People will notice you if you act like you got something to notice. And you're just screaming 'Look at me' right now."

"Yeah, yeah, right," Ebisu said nervously, shaking himself to calm his nerves.

Sai chuckled, patting Ebisu on the shoulder. "Now, let the boys out, and I'll get the door open. Think you can handle that much, at least?"

"Fuck off," Sai growled, turning to go open the back of the van. Sai chuckled in amusement. '_At least that got him to focus_.'

Sai turned and walked quickly down the alleyway, before stopping at a small emergency door connected to the courthouse. With a quick swipe of his ROOT card, the door unlocked quietly, and he pushed it wide open, and checked inside to make sure there were no guards. Content that there were no threats he turned back to the alleyway and smiled as he watched Naruto, Sasuke, and their father Jaraiya hop out of the back of the ROOT van, carrying heavy duffel bags along with them. The three hurried down the alleyway, Ebisu tailing behind, and each nodded to Sai as they hurried through the door and into the large courthouse.

* * *

Temari sighed in frustration as she scribbled notes on a small notepad in her lap. She hated doing out-of-town news reports. But apparently, this big shot on trial, Orochimaru or whatever his name was, was some big Mob leader here in Konoha. Rumors were flying around in Suna as well, that Orochimaru was spreading his influence over there as well, trying to get a foothold in organized crime in the desert city. Tamari wasn't too worried about things like that, however. Her brother, Gaara, was currently the acting mayor of Suna, and she of all people knew how ruthless he was when it came to protecting "his" city from people like Orochimaru.

"OROCHIMARU!" Temari winced at the voice. It was giving her a migraine. She looked up and glared at the acting judge, some crazy guy with huge eyebrows and some weird bowl-cut haircut. She really didn't like this guy, but apparently, he was the only judge in town willing to try and sentence this Mob man. Temari rubbed her temples as the man continued to rant. "Despite your great influence in this town, I will not settle for this un-youthful behavior in my courtroom! And furthermore…"

Temari popped two painkillers into her mouth and groaned in pain as the man continued his sermon, trying her best to drown out his voice in her head by thinking of nice things. Things like butterflies, and trees, and fans, and… deer, she supposed. She was pulled out of his reverie by a voice next to her chuckling. She turned and glared at a brown haired man who sat next to her, shaking his head in amusement at the show. Her other brother, Kankuro. She decided to try and strike up a conversation with him to drown out the judge's voice, since happy thought weren't enough, apparently.

"Look at his charisma," she said, motioning to Orochimaru. The man just sat with a smile on the stand, somehow able to resist the judge's voice, even being only a couple feet away. "He deserves what jail time he's getting. I can tell from that smug look on his face."

"He'll walk," Kankuro replied, shaking his head. "Even with all this evidence."

"How could you possibly say that? Look," Temari said, motioning to the crowd in the courtroom. "All the people on the right are people in Orochimaru's own gang that want him out of the picture. All the families of the men he has killed are on the left. Everyone wants some justice. How could he weasel out of this?"

"Look at him," Kankuro said, gesturing causally to the stand. "He doesn't have a care in the world. He's gonna walk."

Temari huffed, leaning back in her chair in frustration. She hated this town. It was too wet, too happy; she'd had some run-in with some lazy bastard on the way into town, and now a guy like this was getting out of about a bajillion years of jail time scot-free? They out to haul his ass to Suna. At least there, if all else failed, at least someone would have the guts to do something about a cocky Mob boss like him, even without jurisdiction.

* * *

Naruto slid down the hallway quickly and quietly, taking up the rear and watching the three of their backs while Sasuke and their father Jaraiya took the lead. Naruto was still getting used to having Jaraiya around, much less thinking of him as a father, but right now, all that really mattered was the mission at hand.

Sai and Ebisu had split off from them a few hallways back, in order to keep the guards attentions of the courtroom for a moment while the three made their way to the court. Hopefully, they'd be able to find a way to keep the guards distracted until Kakashi managed to get all the civilians that weren't in the courtroom out of the building so Naruto and his family could do what needed to be done. After that, at the opportune time, a fire alarm would be set off by one of the detectives in order for the three to escape.

As the three hurried down the hall, they came up to a turn in the corridor and Jaraiya held up his fist and the brothers screeched to a halt. Glancing around the corner cautiously, Jaraiya made a hand signal indicating there was one guard 

between them and the courtroom. He motioned to Sasuke, who nodded in understanding and dropped his duffel to the floor softly, and turned the corner casually. Naruto watched as his brother caught the attention of the guard and began asking him questions about the trial.

As Sasuke occupied the guard, Jaraiya slipped across the corridor and into an adjacent hallway, which the maps Sai had given the three of them indicated looped around. Naruto watched from the corridor and counted off the seconds. After just under a minute, he saw his father peek around a hallway several yards behind the guard that Sasuke was speaking to. Naruto smirked slyly as he watched Jaraiya sneak slowly behind the man and pull a small box out of his pocket.

_Bzzzzap_. With the flick of a button, a surge of power erupted from the stun gun in Jaraiya's and the guard spasmed and fell to the floor unconscious. Naruto quickly grabbed the bags on the floor and hurried up to Sasuke, tossing him a pair of handcuffs. Sasuke proceeded to cuff the man, while their father gazed interestedly at the stun gun.

"How long did you say these things put a man down for?" he asked. Naruto smirked. Twenty years in the can and he's totally out of the loop.

"About ten minutes," Naruto shrugged.

Naruto winced as Jaraiya suddenly leaned forward and shocked the unconscious man a second time. He looked up and smiled at Naruto. "Twenty is a bit better."

"Uh, I don't think it works like that, dad," Sasuke said nervously, scratching the back of his head.

Jaraiya paused for a moment before shrugging. "Whatever."

Naruto frowned before turning to Sasuke. "That's cold blooded, man."

As Naruto and Sasuke shoved the guard's body into a small closet, Jaraiya cracked the nearby door open, and peered into the courtroom. When Naruto and Sasuke approached, he had a look of sudden determination on his face. Naruto gave a questioning look to Sasuke, who shrugged in confusion and reached into his duffel to pull out his mask.

"Wait," Jaraiya whispered, grabbing Sasuke's hand as the mask emerged from the bag. Sasuke stared in shock at his father as the aged man shook his head. "We won't be needing those. Not this time."

Sasuke shot a look at Naruto, who was staring at the old man in confusion. Seeing the set look on the man's face, Naruto realized what his old man was thinking. If they were to continue doing work like this, they needed to be able to show that they weren't afraid of the consequences of their actions. They needed to be able to inspire more people to take a stand against evil men in the world, and to do that, they needed to show that they wouldn't be stopped, even when the world knew their names and faces.

With a solemn look on his face, Naruto nodded in acceptance of his father's decision. Sasuke studied Naruto's face for a moment, trying to determine his brother's intents. Then he nodded in recognition, accepting whatever fate awaited them in the future.

* * *

Temari growled in frustration as the judge spoke. She had gotten used to his voice by now, though. Her increasing migraine at the moment was being caused by the judge's decision, rather than the voice announcing it. She could tell as the jury walked out what their choice had been, just by the enraged look on some of their faces, and the confident look of the face of the defendant. The judge sighed in defeat, as he finished reading the verdict. Apparently he'd wanted the Sound Boss behind bars as well. "Due to the lack of hard evidence…"

_BAM_! Temari nearly fell out of her seat as one of the side doors of the courtroom burst open. Three armed men, two young men and one older man, strode quickly into the room, weapons drawn and shouting. Temari gulped in fear as she saw Orochimaru suddenly blanch in fear at the sight of the three men. This men must be really dangerous if even the Sound Boss was afraid.

"All media to the back!" the older man roared over the screams of surprise and fear. Several kunai lodged into the wall behind a cameraman, and the younger, dark haired man began circling the courtroom, knocking cameras out of hands. "Drop the cameras! Drop 'em!" the man barked at the crowd. Temari held up her hands to show she had nothing to offer as the younger men passed by, but Kankuro yelped in anger as the black haired one took away a camera he'd brought and smashed it on the floor.

In a small show of bravery, Temari saw a couple guards reach for their weapon holsters and attempt to attack the man. Temari nearly screamed as several kunai flew just inches over her head and embedded itself into one of the guard's arms. The man winced in pain, refusing to scream, as the other guard raised his hands in defeat. The older man motioned for them to drop their weapons into the center of the courtroom, and they grudgingly complied.

After collecting herself, Temari realized that the blonde man had hauled Orochimaru by his long hair to the center of the large courtroom, and the older man had marched up to the pulpit and began shoving the judge down the stairs forcefully. Temari felt a small twinge of amusement at the judge squeaking in fear, but it was quickly forgotten and covered up by the fear she felt as the dark haired man passed by again, glaring at her. It felt like he was simply _willing_ her to stay put with those eyes.

As the older man shoved the judge over the railing and into the audience, he turned and gazed around the courtroom, almost nonchalantly. He then slowly began to stride around the courtroom, making certain that all the audience's attention was on him, before speaking to the silent courtroom.

"You people have been chosen to reveal our existence to the world," he said. "You will witness what happens here today and you will tell of it afterwards." Temari was shocked at how quiet the man's voice was. But she knew that in the terrified silence of the courtroom, every single person could hear what was being said.

"Fucking do something!" Temari jumped in surprise as Orochimaru screamed in fear across the courtroom. She'd nearly forgotten he was still in the center of the room. She looked at him, and saw him reaching pleadingly towards his comrades (or former comrades, Temari corrected herself), begging them pathetically for aid. Temari winced as the blonde man standing behind the Sound Boss suddenly cracked the man over the head with the butt end of one of his kunai. Orochimaru fell to the floor in pain, but was yanked by his hair back up to his knees, and sat there whimpering in fear for his life.

Temari's attention turned away from the Sound Boss again as the old man began moving again. This time however, he seemed to be focusing on someone in particular. Temari followed his gaze to a pretty, _very_ well endowed woman with purple hair pulled back into a poofy ponytail. The woman was clutching her skirt tightly and staring at the ground intently. Temari nudged Kankuro, who was cradling his destroyed camera.

"Who's the broad?" she whispered.

Kankuro raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Broad? The hell? Since when do you call other women broads?"

"Not the time for that!" Temari hissed. "Who is she?"

"I'm not entirely sure," Kankuro whispered. "But I think she's Orochimaru's wife. Anko, or something like that."

Temari watched as the old man walked slowly to the woman. She watched as the woman flinched when the old man reached forward and lifted up her chin. Once the two were eye to eye, Temari strained her ears to hear the old man's words as he whispered to her, "You must watch, dear. It'll all be over soon." The woman nodded sullenly, and Temari heard Orochimaru growl in anger, followed by the sound of another smack.

Temari jumped again (she'd been doing that a lot today, she noticed) as a loud fire alarm suddenly blared through the courtroom. The old man strode back to the center of the room and put a kunai up to Orochimaru's throat. The two younger men jumped forward towards the audience and leapt up onto the defense and prosecution desks. The crowd gasped in fright, and the men pulled out weapons from their holsters to quiet them.

As the noise dimmed, the black haired man spoke loudly above the fearful whispers, "Now, you will receive us."

The blonde man stepped forward, and continued the other's conversation, "We do not ask for your poor or your hungry."

"We do not want your tired and sick," the black haired man said. Temari blinked in surprise. Had they rehearsed this or something? The two continued, speaking to the crowd one after the other after the one.

"It is your corrupt we claim."

"It is your evil, who will be sought by us."

"With every breath we shall hunt them down."

"Each day we will spill their blood until it rains down from the skies."

"Do not kill, do not rape, do not steal: These are principles which every man of every faith can and should embrace."

"But no longer are these polite suggestions. They are codes of behavior. And those that ignore them?" the black haired man pointed to Orochimaru in reference. "They will pay the dearest cost."

"There are varying degrees of evil." The blonde man glared to the right side of the courtroom, at Orochimaru's associates and underlings. The crowd collectively cringed in fear. "We urge you lesser forms of filth not to push the bounds and cross over into true corruption… into our domain."

"For if you do," the black haired man growled, "there will come the day when you look behind you and see we three. And on that day you will reap your just rewards."

"And we will send you to whatever God you wish," the blonde man concluded in a whisper.

Together, the two men jumped off the tables and approached the place where the older man kept Orochimaru. Each of them stood on either side of their father, and placed a kunai at each side of the terrified man's throat. The older man between them nodded in approval, before raising a kunai and holding the pointed end less than an inch above the Sound Boss' head.

Orochimaru began hyperventilating in terror as the three men behind him began reciting some prayer that Temari couldn't make out above the clamor that had risen in the courtroom. Some, but very few, of the people had begun crying out, begging the three men to belay their decision and let the Sound Boss live. Others began sobbing and babbling, the emotions of fear and desperation they had felt suddenly released since the men's announcement that they wouldn't be killed. Some of the people, from either side of the courtroom, were actually egging the men on, telling them to hurry up and do it already. However, most of the people in the courtroom were doing the same thing Temari was: gazing at the spectacle at the front of the room in speechless shock. But no matter whether they were feeling guilt, shock, relief, or whether they liked, hated, or just respected the man on his knees at the front of the room, one thing was the same of all of these people. All of them were watching what would happen.

Temari felt as if the world was going in slow motion as the three men finished their prayer. After babbling some Latin that Temari didn't understand, she saw the two men on the sides tighten their grips on their kunai. At this, Temari knew what was coming, and ducked her head, unable to look at the sight that followed. She cringed in fear as she heard a sickening splat and the people in the courtroom screaming in fright. She hugged her shoulders in terror, praying to whatever god was listening to let her survive, in case these three decided to remove witnesses from the scene.

After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, she felt a hand tap her shoulder and her brother's voice calmly tell her, "They're gone now. They took off out the back door. People are leaving. Come on, let's get out of here." Temari nodded and stood up, averting her eyes from the front of the room, as Kankuro put his arm around her shoulders and led her out of the seats and up the aisle of the courtroom. The entire place was mostly empty now, excluding a few people on the floor that had passed out from the stress and fear of the event.

As the two siblings made their way through the door, curiosity finally got the better of Temari, and she turned quickly to look up the center of the aisle. Her gaze froze on the bloody mess that remained of the former Sound Boss. Her brother tried to turn her away, but the sight was too much, and she found she couldn't move. Finally, the realization of what had just happened hit her and her stomach turned. Clutching her lips, she turned and shoved her brother out of the way, sprinting for the entrance of the building. Breaking through the large doors of the courthouse, she bolted for the edge of the long stairs leading up to the doors and retched over the side. She stood there for some time, even after she'd emptied her stomach, dry heaving and sobbing. Kankuro eventually caught up with and comforted her in her misery, and the two stood there for awhile in silence.

After about five minutes, Temari began calming down and managed to catch bits and fragments of sounds and discussions around her. She could hear sirens all around the area, and the constant chatter of news voices filling the air. She looked up from the edge of the stairs and her eyes landed on a black haired, red eyed Konoha reporter that was interviewing the Anko woman that Kankuro had pointed out. The well endowed woman had a look of grim determination on her face, and seemed to have overcome the shock of the event fairly quickly, despite her relationship to Orochimaru. '_On the other hand, maybe she and the victim weren't on the greatest of terms when he died_,' Temari thought wryly. She listened intently to the interview of the wife of Orochimaru.

"Yes! Were you in the courtroom miss? Did you see what happened?"

"Yes. I was there."

"How do you feel about what they did?"

"I guess… we all know what is right and wrong. We all know. Nobody needs to be convinced of what he was. No matter what the courts and the juries say, everyone in the world knew what a monster he was. I'm sure that everyone in the city, no matter what they'd have to say due to law or position of power, would agree that this man had it coming."

"Are you saying that your husband… _deserved_ to die?"

"…I believe… I believe that this should have been done years ago. I believe that these boys are doing the right thing. And I believe that if they were never caught, I don't anyone would really mind. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going home now to have my first real full night's sleep."

Temari watched in shock as the woman walked through the crowd, pushing through the scrambling reporters and hopping in a car that awaited her at the bottom of the stairs. As the car drove away, Temari sat in thought for a few moments before smirking slightly. Maybe these Konoha people had some balls after all…

* * *

Sasuke sat in the small chair at the Suna motel and gazed nervously out the window. He saw Naruto doing the same thing while looking at the floor. He shook in fear. People knew about them now. How were they supposed to do what they needed to if everyone from Konoha to Iwagakure knew their faces?

He saw his father giving him a questioning look and stuttered for a moment, before finally spitting out what had been on his mind since the event at the court. "How far are we going with this? How much will we have to do before we can end this?"

His father sighed, shaking his head in thought, before leaning forward to address his son. Sasuke saw Naruto perk up as well, wondering what would be said. "The question is not, 'how far?'" his father whispered. "The question is, 'Do you possess the constitution, the depth of faith in your actions to go as far as is needed?'"

Sasuke sat in silence for a moment, contemplating the words, before nodding and leaning back in his chair. Things would surely get much harder before they got any better. He continued to stare out into the distance as silence filled the room.

* * *

A/N

It's over! Done, finito, gone, completed! Frickin finally.

Not much more to say here. Hopefully, the opener for the western will be done soon. Look forward to it.

Read and review, please.


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